The Assault The Ref Challenge -Starring
-Starring The Frontmen -With professional referee-assaulter
-ARGH! -RED CARD!
-WHAT?!!!!!!!!!! -and today’s guest judge Alexandr Mitrovic
-DEATH TO REFEREES! -And his whingy
referee-assaulting assistant, Bruno Fernandes -You told me I was judging penalty run-ups.
I don’t assault referees! -And I don’t make out with
the mirror every day. Liar! -The frontman who gets
sentenced to longest ban by us wins! -Killing a ref, intentionally or by accident,
is instant disqualification -OH COME ON!!!
-ACTION! -Suarez!
-Time for your COVID booster! -Argh! RED CARD!
-What the hell? -HAHA!
-WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!! -HAHA! He’s gone full Neymar!
-Suarez, I can see you have a lot of previous convictions…
-DAMN RIGHT I DO! So hit me hard! -7 game ban for biting a PSV player
-Guilty as charged! -8 game ban for abusing Patrice Evra
-Not guilty as charged and I have the t-shirt to prove it!
-4 month ban for biting Chiellini! -I think the only way I’ll learn is with a
-LIFETIME BAN! LIFETIME BAN! -Luis Suarez, we sentence you to… a 20 game ban!
-20 games - is that all? -And even worse - 100 hours of community service
-100 hours? Big deal, doppleganger -In Ghana
-Oh sh*t… -Arrrrrrrgh-oof!
-OW!
-Ohh, ow. Ah-ma-ma-ma-mama! HA!
-Anorexic Erling Haaland, we sentence you to a
20 game ban! -JA! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh,
I mean 20 game ban - mer mer mer mer mer -And now I miss the Champions
League games versus Bayern -No it’s just a 20 game ban in the Premier League
-Just in the Premier League? -Just in the Premier League
-NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -It’s
-It's Thomas. Kill the hostage. I repeat. Kill the hostage.
-No please! -I have my orders!
-Oh, I have my orders - mer mer mer *gunshots*
-Oh sorry Thomas, I missed with every single shot -Oh for god’s sake, Sadio!
-ARGH! -KNEW IT!
-It’s not just me - all the refs support Man Un - -Willian, for exposing the ref’s boxer shorts and
exposing Man Utd bias in referees… -LIES!
-…we overturn your one-game ban -YES!
-WILLIAN! -I’m surprised he didn’t block
it with his hand. Ha! -OW.
-Oh look my fellow Parisiens… -It’s Emmanuel Macron
-What? -And he’s raising the retirement age yet again!
-No! ARGH! -GET HIM!
-ARGHHHHHH! -SACRE BLEU!
-ARGHHHHHH! -SACREU BLEU!
-Great job, Kylian -Thanks
-I can’t wait to try molotoving a ref myself! -Kylian Mbappe, we sentence you to…
-PLEASE MISS THE REST OF THE SEASON! PLEASE MISS THE REST OF THE SEASON!
-25 game ban -MAGNIFIQUE!
NO MORE PLAYING FOR P*SSANT PSG! -What was that?
-Uhoh! -GET HIM!
-ARGH!!!!!!! -Ah, I’ve been tripped! Referee! VAR! VAR!
-YES! -You were supposed to assault ref Harry
-Though it was an impressive dive -Thanks, Bruno.
Old habits die hard
-Harry Kane, we sentence you to…
-PLEASE MISS THE REST OF THE SEASON! -PLEASE MISS THE REST OF THE SEASON!
-A 0 game ban -NO! I have to keep playing for Spurs… urgh!
-I know! If I tw*t Antonio Conte in the next game, can you extend my ban?
-Ha, sure -YES!
-If he makes it to the next game…
-Laugh! -No please!
-Don’t worry ref - they’re not violent! They’re just in heat
-ARGH! -laugh
-Diego Costa, we sentence you to
30 game ban -YES HAHAHAHA!
-Plus a 50-50 split of all avenue earnt from selling this footage to the dark web
-YES! HAHAHAHA!
-Knock knock -Who’s there?
-Jada Pinkett Smith -Jada Pinkett Smith who?
-Keep my wife’s name out your **** mouth -Pfft
-Uhoh -Keep my wife’s
name out your ***** mouth -Ow! RED CARD
-You could say that was genie-us Hahahaha!
-Thomas Muller, we sentence you to… a
lifetime ban -JA!
-… at the Oscars. -What?
-And you have to watch Will Smith’s entire filmography from start to finish
-No! -Without a break!
-NO!!!!!!!!!!!!
-TAKE THIS! -ARGH! -Red card!
-Di Who-io? -Di Canio!
-I have literally no idea who you are -The disrespect! I am big 90s star!
-I was pushing refs when you were pushing out poopoos in a potty!
-Di Canio, we sentence you to…
5 game ban -5 games? I got 11 in the 90s!
-IDIOTA!
-This is an insult! -And this is a gavel…
-Oh, what a moaner… and that’s coming from me -We
We said assault the ref, not bribe him -Damn. I know, how about I accuse him of being on
cocaine? -Too late
-0 game ban -Damn
-Hey ref!!! Say hello to my little friend
/stylist/personal assistant… -Urgh…
-Urgh, red card! -Have you been eating wotsits?
-Neymar Junior… -This is going to be a big one!
-We sentence you to… -20 games? 30 games?
-0 game ban! -0 game ban?
-0 game ban! -What the fallopian tubes?
-I may be stupid and pick fights with referees, but I’m not stupid enough to pick a fight
with the LGBTQIABCDE+ community! -But I had Sam perform an unholy
s*x act on the referee’s ear! -Looked fine to me
-Me too -They didn’t ask for consent!
-Just a show of affection - on you go! -SAM!
-Urgh…
-Gasp
-What have you done?
-Your honour, please
give my client, me, a lifetime ban! -You haven’t even assaulted ref yet!
-I refer you to an historic offence in the 2017 Spanish Super Cup…
-Ronaldo has the ball - penalty!
-No, second yellow for diving! -WHAT?!
-Ow. Meanie… -But you already had a 5 game ban for that
-True - but I will now disclose the full depraved story…
-After being sent off I went to the referee’s changing room
-and went peepee in his water bottle -Oh…
-And not only that, I hadn’t had a drink all day, so it was proper beefy
-Oh… -Gross…
-And not only that, I added a little flavour
-to the nozzle… -Oh, giggles
-OH! -Did the ref drink it?
-He tried!
-35 game ban!!! -SIU!
-Wait a minute - the same thing happened to my water bottle earlier in the season…
-Pffftt - oh, really? -Oooo
-Yes, Bruno
-Put these on or die! -Okay okay
-Hey siri -Play My G by Ed Sheeran
-No NO! PLEASE!
NO! IT HURTS! IT HURTS! My ears are bleeding!!!
RED CARD! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!
-Hey Siri stop -Oh phew
-play the Darwin Nunez song by that guy on TikTok -SHOOT ME! PLEASE SHOOT ME!!!
-Lionel Messi - what you did to that poor ref is unforgivable
-YOU’RE SICK IN THE HEAD! SICK IN THE HEAD! -WE SENTENCE YOU TO A LIFETIME BAN!
-Yes! -SIU! Now can you wipe him
out of the record books too? -ARGH!
-RED CARD!
-The ref died - instant disqualification!
-Knight, reveal yourself! -I meant your helmet
-That is my helmet -Take off your helmet!
-It’s not detachable -The one on your head, fool
-Oh…
-Oh bugger, it’s stuck… me and my big fat head
-HARRY MAGUIRE?! -Oof
-We sentence you to a summer transfer to Wrexham! -Ha!
-The winner of the Assault a Ref Challenge
-Lionel Messi! -Thank you! Thank you! -Who wins today’s star prize -
-What the hell? -A live concert by Ed Sheeran
-NO! -Hi Leo, first up, My G!
-NO!!!