What's going on?
Tripp Kramer here from trippadvice.com.
I want to talk to you today.
This is almost like a PSA, public service announcement to you kind sir.
Things to never say to a woman.
Ever, ever, ever.
And here's what's cool about what I'm breaking down today.
I'm giving you all different contexts.
Meaning whether you're at a bar and you meet a girl for the first time, right before relationship
when you're dating, when you're in a relationship, in a casual setting.
I'm giving you all the biggest things not to say to a woman in all of the most popular
settings that you're going to find yourself in and the most popular contexts.
What do you say we get into it?
Are you ready?
Alright, let's do it.
The first thing is this; when you're at a bar, I never want you to say "you look bored."
And the reason why I came up with this (and I'm going to interrupt myself) everything
here has been data tested.
This is stuff that I've talked to many women about.
This is not just an opinion where I think that you shouldn't do it.
This is stuff where I've talked to women.
I've even experienced it myself and I'll admit it.
Yes, I have said this to a woman before at a bar and I've had women come up to me and
say (or friends of mine who I've talked to) and they say that men have said this to them
at a bar.
You look bored.
Because there's times when women are just sitting around and they're not smiling and
a guy will go up and he'll say you look bored and women hate this.
Or he'll say you should smile or smile.
Women hate to be told to smile.
Women hate to be told you look bored.
This is not a teasing thing that kind of works for you.
Some guys think well what if it's like a tease?
And it's like you're negging her a little bit?
No, this doesn't work that way.
This instantly gets her pissed off if you say you look bored.
No woman wants to say or hear from someone that they look bored.
It's basically like calling a girl ugly.
It's almost the same thing.
You're just saying you look terrible right now.
That's what you're saying, you look terrible right now.
And that doesn't spark conversation.
Imagine you go to a girl and you say you look bored.
What do you expect her to say?
She's gonna say no I'm not or she's gonna say yeah I am.
Where do you go for conversation at that point?
Are you gonna say well I'm Tripp, nice to meet you.
It just starts off the conversation in a really negative tone.
That doesn't allow her to get into it.
Don't ever say this.
Women have told me many times.
And I've also struck out myself saying this to a woman and they they hate it.
They don't like it, bad way to start a conversation.
All right, let's go to at a bar and I say casual setting.
This is like doing another cold approach when you're either at a bar or casual setting.
Really anywhere, any social setting where you're doing some sort of cold approach.
Never say to a woman how are you single?
I can't believe you're single.
That's kind of the same idea here.
How are you single?
It's kind of a way where a guy will flirt with a girl so he'll find out that she's single.
Maybe he'll ask and then say man, how are you single?
I can't believe you're single.
It just is a weird kind of, it's not really a compliment.
It's kind of a weird thing to say.
Like how do you expect her to respond to that?
She's gonna be like yeah like I guess so.
It's almost kind of offensive, but again not in that teasing fun negging, building tension
kind of way.
It's just like, how do you respond to that?
Imagine a girl saying that, how are you single?
It's like yeah, remind me how I'm this awesome person but I can't still get a girl.
She's gonna be like okay, I guess you're reminding me that you think that I'm attractive or you're
interested in me.
But now here I am not able to get a guy.
It's not really a neg or a backhanded, well I guess technically it's a backhanded compliment
but it doesn't come off as a compliment.
It really just is offensive.
When you're talking to a girl and you find out she's single, don't ever say that.
Or maybe you're talking to a girl on a dating app.
Don't say how are you single right now?
I can't believe you're single.
Also you don't want to give away everything.
You don't want to throw all your cards on the table.
I actually have another one here that's similar to that concept of not putting all your cards
on the table.
You just don't want to be doing that.
You don't want to be hitting on her flirting with her in that way.
It's too much, too much interest, too much intent.
All right, let's go to the next one.
On text message.
You may have heard me say this before.
Maybe this is obvious to you.
But I feel like again, it's like a PSA.
Guys are still doing this.
Don't ever, even in a relationship by the way.
This is on text message anytime ever, never say hey, what's up, yo, hi.
Never start a conversation that way.
It's boring.
That's basically saying hey I wanted to connect with you but I just want you to do all the
work.
I just want you to do all the work.
And when they see that from you, maybe they're excited because they're seeing it from the
guy that they like, but it still doesn't offer anything much more interesting.
And all she can respond is nothing new or hey, what's going on?
It just starts conversation in this very boring level.
I don't want you to say hey, what's up, yo, hi or any other form of this.
If you want to start a conversation on text message, you should start with a statement,
not a question.
A statement saying what you're up to or a picture of something that you're doing.
(Not a dick pic) A picture of something that you're doing, something interesting, something
interesting that you're eating, whatever.
Something like that.
That starts a conversation way better than hey, what's up, yo, hi.
Never ever, ever no exceptions.
Even when you're freaking married.
Don't do it.
Next before a relationship and I strongly believe in this one and a lot of guys don't
follow it.
"I love you."
Do not say I love you before you're in a relationship, before you guys are committed, before you
guys are monogamous or exclusive or whatever you want to call it.
If you're not in a relationship with her yet, don't say I love you.
It's too soon, you're putting your cards way on the table.
And it's probably too soon to even say I love you because you're not going to get into a
relationship for at least, what, three months, four months.
And you don't want to be saying it then.
You don't want to be saying it anytime before then you want to say it.
After you're in a relationship.
I don't mean the day after you're in a relationship.
I'm talking, you probably want to say it when you actually love her, which is going
to be somewhere between 5 to 9 months because that's when you actually
love a person. Just because you have strong feelings of affection for her or strong feelings
of lust or infatuation,
that's not love. Love, at least to me in terms of how I feel about what it actually is because
it's a very strong statement,
love is when you really accept a person as a whole. And you don't really know a person
that well until you've been dating them for 5, 6, 7 months and even longer. You
don't even really know someone for at least a year.
I'm not saying you have to wait that long but you'll you'll get the idea of
who they are more down the line. So do not, please do not say I love you before a
relationship. Do it when you know them the best The next one, when you're in a relationship
do not ever say relax or calm down. This means when you're in a fight. In a
relationship (and I'll say this anyways this is not just for a relationship, this
is also for if you're dating her) don't say relax, calm down.
If you guys are in a fight and you say relax or calm down
it really pisses someone off. Imagine just like put yourself in that mode for a second.
Maybe you are kind of riled up and you want to
scream or get mad or you're angry or something like that and someone says relax, calm down.
They're not saying it to you like hey, calm down.
Hey relax. They're probably like calm down and relax.
It's just gonna make you even more upset.
And you know what, even if they do say hey, calm down, relax, that doesn't make it, that makes
you more upset because it feels like someone's trying to control your emotions.
No one wants their emotions to be controlled.
Okay?
If you want to calm someone down or relax, just stop speaking.
Just you be relaxed and calm and they will mirror you.
That's the best way to calm someone down. For you to be relaxed so they can get down
to your level and realize that they're screaming and they have no reason to scream.
Next one is at a bar or text or before a relationship.
This is one is a little controversial.
I know that a lot of guys might be like, what how can I not say that?
Like should I not compliment a woman?
Here's the thing, you can compliment a woman but you don't want to say it like "you look
sexy" or
"You look hot."
or "you look beautiful."
You don't want to say is this a bar
first of all because you don't even know them. They're gonna be like oh okay
this guy is complimenting me on my looks.
What else is new? You're gonna be a diamond a dozen. If you're doing it on text
and you're saying you look sexy, hot, beautiful
that's something for when you're like in a relationship.
And when you guys are down the line, you can say that to her where it has a little
bit more meaning behind it.
It's just a little bit superficial.
It is inherently superficial, which is fine, but it's too superficial where I don't
think it has a lot of weight and you're putting your cards too much on the table. The more
and more you compliment them and compliment them, giving them too much validation.
And I know this sounds kind of gamey but giving them too much validation.
It doesn't really help. If anything, it hurts.
They get too used to you just giving them lots and lots of validation.
It's not going to allow more mystery between you two. You need a little bit of that
hard to get.
The best way to do that is to not be giving them and showing them superficial compliments or
really a lot of compliments in general.
Let's stay away from this as much as possible.
Now if you feel like you're having trouble even getting to the point where you have opportunities
to go up to a woman in a bar and spark conversation, if you don't know what to say, if you don't
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Okay?
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Go to get her hooked dot com.
And remember, do not say any of these things to a woman ever again PSA.
I hope this helps.
I'll see you in the next video.