[MUSIC PLAYING]
We live in one-bedroom apartments in New York City.
What can we say?
We-- do you use HelloFresh?
Do you--
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, that was it.
Like, I said, hi.
She goes, hey, that was really funny, see you.
Beyoncé and I are really good friends.
Uh-huh.
I mean, really, really, really, really good friends.
Here we go.
I'm going out with my sister.
My sister's in town.
She came with me last night to the Globes.
Gosh, we had fun.
Yeah?
Oh, my gosh.
We had so much fun.
Yeah, she must-- well, that was your first time at the Globes,
too, right?
Yes.
Now, that's quite a time to be your first time there.
[SIGHS] I mean, the table that we were at-- well,
you're there.
Yeah, I was there.
And you're-- you are, to me, everything.
And then Portia-- everything.
And then we had Carol Burnett--
Yeah, yeah.
--American legend, everything.
And then there was also Beyoncé and Jay-Z at the table, which--
[LAUGHTER]
I mean, they're the king and queen of America.
They are.
[LAUGHTER]
They were unbelievably gracious.
But my sister and I found out that we
were going to be at their table, and started
panicking, and making a list of, like, well, what can we say?
We live in one-bedroom apartments in New York City.
What can we say?
We-- do you use HelloFresh?
Do you--
[LAUGHTER]
What kind of milk do you like to drink?
You know?
And so-- but--
[LAUGHS]
So my sister went right over and was-- has balls of steel
and just was great.
And Beyoncé was so nice.
And I was just such a--
I just pretended I had something on my pants
and was sort of like--
[LAUGHTER]
So I blew it.
Wow.
I blew it.
But you meet so many-- every week on SNL,
there's some huge person hosting and doing sketches with you.
I mean--
Not Beyoncé.
Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
We all know that's different.
Right.
We all know.
Yeah.
You might want to bring Beyoncé.
Do you know Beyoncé?
No.
Have you met Beyoncé?
Actually, I have, though.
Yeah?
Yeah, this was a long time ago.
We were vacationing in the islands somewhere.
And there's this thing called the flying fish,
where this boat kind of drags this blow-up fish thing.
And you go up 20ft in the air.
And you crash.
So I went up there.
I did it.
And she was watching us with my parents--
watching us do this thing.
And I crashed pretty hard.
I, like, wipe out.
It was pretty awesome.
And my mom told me this.
She asked my mother if I was OK.
[AHH-ING]
Ah.
So we were forever connected.
Wow, that's amazing.
[LAUGHTER]
But she didn't ask if you were OK.
She just asked your mom?
About me, though.
Yeah, I know.
She asked if I was OK through my mom.
Through your mom.
So really, she was already working mom.
I see.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Jay-Z, watch out.
That's--
[LAUGHTER]
So you're a huge fan.
And I heard that you can't even get tickets
to go see them in concert.
It's crazy, right?
Who--
It's crazy.
Doesn't your father have connections?
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHTER]
I mean, how do you not--
you're not able to get tickets?
It's crazy.
I've been trying.
My sister actually got some tickets for, I think,
the upcoming show this next month.
But I can't.
I'm 0 for 3.
And I'm, like, totally--
I'm Beyhive.
I'm all day.
I'm team B.
Look what I got you.
Whoa.
[LAUGHS]
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
What?
Yes.
That is the first time I ever met her right there.
[LAUGHTER]
That was it.
OK.
So how do you get Beyoncé to do this?
Ad you-- had you met her before?
I had never met her before.
I won't even tell you what I had to do
to essentially get her assistant's phone
number-- or text.
I was texting her.
And I didn't even have the intention of her coming.
It was a whole ploy to get permission to do something.
Because I had gotten through the grapevine
that Jenna was going to bring out Paula.
And I was like, hmm, who can I bring out?
I know Beyoncé is not going to come.
So I wanted to bring, like, a cardboard cutout of Beyoncé out
just to be funny.
And then, ultimately, I ended up having
to meet Beyoncé doing Beyoncé.
And that was definitely the most terrifying thing
I've ever done.
[LAUGHTER]
So you hadn't rehearsed?
She just--
No.
Well, you were doing that.
So she hadn't seen you look like that?
No, she's like Keyser Soze.
I don't know if you guys know who that is.
But there's-- like, you know she exists.
And-- but you never see her until, like, all of a sudden,
you're just like, it happened.
Wait.
That was her, right?
And then you always know that she's
somewhere in the world that can reach out and touch you.
And it's--
[LAUGHTER]
It's really--
That's very sweet.
And then she left right afterwards?
Yeah.
That was it.
Like, I said, hi.
She goes, hey, that was really funny, see you.
And--
[LAUGHTER]
But she did text afterwards.
And she was like, hey, I would love to meet you guys
and hang out when you're not looking
like me and so terrifying.
So you were saying, if you ever met Beyoncé, that she
would file a restraining order.
And then you did meet her?
Yes.
The last time I was here, I-- yeah.
[LAUGHS] So I met Beyoncé a year ago at the Grammys.
She was very, very pregnant at the time.
And I-- so during the commercial break, I was like,
this is my chance--
not stalkery at all.
I'm like, this is my chance.
And I go up.
And everyone is surrounding Beyoncé because she's Beyoncé.
And DJ Khaled is there.
Then I kind of poked my head around.
And I'm like, can you just-- to get her to see if she sees me.
And then she sees me.
And her face lights up.
And she's like-- [GASPS]---- somebody help me up,
somebody help me up.
She's pregnant.
And she gets up.
And she's like, oh, my god, it's so good to meet you.
And I'm like, oh, my god.
I'm like, it's so good to meet you.
I love you.
I've loved you since Destiny's Child.
She's like, I know.
[LAUGHTER]
And I was like, the first time I met your old stylist Ty
was in Central Park.
And I was doing the choreography to Déjá Vu.
And I didn't even know he was your stylist.
She was like, I know, I heard.
[LAUGHTER]
So she had been getting reports apparently over the years.
It's like the presidential daily brief, but it's Beyoncé.
Yeah.
It's Laverne's brief with Beyoncé.
Laverne's brief with Beyoncé.
So she knew.
She was so sweet.
She was so amazing.
And she was so amazing.
She asked me to model for her activewear line Ivy Park.
Did you guys see that?
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
That's amazing.
Yes, I heard that.
So--
Crazy.
So she's your boss now?
So yeah, for the season.
I think it's done after-- because it
was autumn and winter.
So I think she's no longer my boss now.
I see.
So I think it was just for autumn and winter.
But it's still winter.
So I guess Beyoncé is still my boss.
So we saw each other at the Golden Globes.
We did.
And you were at the table kind of right next to us.
Yes.
And I didn't know this because I was backstage doing press
for a long, long time.
You were.
It turns out you were borrowing a lot of our beverages.
Well, you know, guys.
[LAUGHTER]
I didn't know it was, like, a BYOB thing.
Well, no.
Well, Beyoncé and Jay-Z were at our table.
And they bring their own champagne.
Champagne.
Well, how did you end up getting their champagne?
Well, I just noticed that they were having champagne.
And we had run out of water at our table.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, no.
You ran out of water?
So I was thirsty, and so was Aniston,
who was sitting next to me.
And I was like, well, Jay-Z seemed
to have a giant bottle of champagne.
[LAUGHTER]
And I was like, (IN FRENCH ACCENT) excuse me, Jay-Z.
[LAUGHTER]
Because that's what--
What's his name?
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Excuse me, Jay-Z.
[LAUGHTER]
That's how they say it in--
Do you speak French all of a sudden?
It's-- a little bit of French, yes.
Uh-huh.
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Jay-Z.
[LAUGHTER]
[FRENCH]
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Can I have some champagne?
Uh-huh.
[LAUGHTER]
And he was like, yeah, do you want some champagne?
I was like, yes, I do.
Because clearly, he brings the good stuff.
But he-- well, it's his own-- their own.
Yes.
They have their own champagne.
I came to find this out.
And then, afterwards, he sent me a whole case of it.
Yes, he sent me a case also.
Don't act like you're the special one.
[LAUGHTER]
We all got cases.
We did?
I think so.
Well, we got a case.
And then I found out you got a case.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
And then Beyoncé sent me clothes.
And she sent you clothes.
No, no, no.
She sent me clothes.
And then I was like, I think Ellen might like these.
And then she sent them to you.
Because--
[LAUGHTER]
Beyoncé and I are really good friends.
Uh-huh.
I mean, really, really, really, really good friends.
Here we go.
[LAUGHTER]
And I mean, in fact, you might say best friends.
Really?
Some might say that.
What-- I think you would say that.
[LAUGHTER]
I mean, I've known her a really long time.
And I was like, you know what, you guys,
you got to be nice to Ellen because she's really
important in our business.
And you should probably send her some champagne
because she won a big award at the Golden Globes.
So that was, like, me just sort of reaching out and making sure
that you didn't feel left out.
Thank you so much for doing that.
[LAUGHTER]
Do you text with Beyoncé often?
All the time.
When's the last time?
But I just have, like, a little bee emoji in my phone
because I don't want people to know--
Uh-huh.
[LAUGHTER]
--who I'm texting.
When's the last time you talked to her?
Oh, at the Oscar party.
[LAUGHTER]
You haven't texted her since?
I haven't texted her, but we DM each other on the Insta.
Oh, OK.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Because she follows me.
What's happening with your hair?
[LAUGHTER]
What's going on there?
Nothing.
All right then.
[THEME MUSIC]