Transcriber: Nika Kotnik Reviewer: Denise RQ
I'm here to tell you that everything you know about networking is wrong.
That's right.
Everything you've heard, been taught, read, seen, all of it,
it's all wrong.
But before I get into why,
let's look at what Webster's dictionary has to say about networking.
Networking is "defined as interacting with other people
to exchange information and develop contacts,
especially to further one's career."
Not too bad, little stodgy, little old.
So, we're going to run through two scenarios.
The first, for those in the room that may be over 25, maybe 30,
this is what networking looks like to you.
It's going to an event, make sure your shirt is pressed,
you've got enough business cards in your pocket but not too many;
you're making sure your hair is done,
or gentleman on the right, maybe not done,
you're also making sure you don't drop your drink on yourself,
or the person you're talking to;
or you smile with joy like the woman in the middle,
because you're overjoyed that this conversation is almost over,
and you can go on to somebody else.
(Laughter)
Or if you're under 20, 25 in the room, this is what networking looks like.
Heads down, 24 hours a day, almost seven days a week,
and waiting for the direct message from Twitter
- like the young man on the top left -
where the party is tonight.
Or the girl in the bottom middle,
waiting to see how many Instagram likes she has.
Or the gentleman on the top right, very excited,
because the girl he thinks is cute added him on Facebook.
Both of these are wrong though.
I want to say that they are both wrong.
The handshakes, the business cards, the inauthentic relationships,
the talking but not really listening to people in conversations,
it's all incorrect.
I'd like to propose that we flip this on its head,
and we look at a new way of networking.
One that isn't about getting but rather giving.
One that isn't about me, but about you, and you, and you.
And all of us working together
to make not only our community better but our lives and the world better.
See, my story started in this great little town called Omaha, Nebraska.
I was curious, because when I told folks that I was from Omaha,
I'd often get a laugh - or Ohio, or Oklahoma -
or, "Do you have roads there?",
and I would say with confidence,
"We do have roads, and we have Internet in Omaha, Nebraska."
But what was happening around a decade ago is this city was transforming.
It was transforming from this quiet, little agrarian, sleepy town, if you will,
into something amazing.
The river front was transforming.
I was excited and inspired by the people that were changing the face of this city.
And I was curious who was behind this change?
What were they doing, and what was their back story?
And around that time,
I had the ability to travel for my job to other cities that we all hear about,
like New York, and San Francisco, and Austin, and Bolder.
I'd see different communities, and different hubs of networks,
and people supporting one another in the work that they were doing.
I'd get back home and say, "Well, wait a minute.
We have those same individuals here.
We have that same passion, that same drive, that same intellect."
But in a sense, those stories were quiet; they were secret.
They were flying under the radar.
For those that didn't grow up on a farm, like myself, this is a grain silo.
Grain silos are used to store grain, corn, and other agricultural products,
very efficiently, storing millions, and millions, and millions
of pieces of information within those silos.
Not necessarily a bad thing;
however, I saw a symbolism
between the silo and the stories that were in our own community.
Those stories were amazing,
but they were in sense locked, they were in a sense held hostage.
So I set out with a flip camera.
No, I didn't say iPhone,
- I said a flip camera, Google that, they are circa 2006 -
and I'd go around,
I was curious to find folks and stories that existed here.
So my little experiment of putting a flip camera in an individual's face
and say, "Tell me about what you do,"
turned into a repository online called "Silicon Prairie News".
All Silicon Prairie news was was a repository for those stories,
that energy, and those people that were changing the face
of our city and our community at the time.
But what quickly started as an on-line community,
quickly turned into an offline iteration of that community as well.
So, what you're looking at here, is a room full of 700 innovators,
entrepreneurs, creatives, changemakers
from across the city, the state, and the region.
There's an excitement and an energy to be a part of something bigger than oneself.
Don't take my word for it;
there is people much smarter than I
that have studied this for years and years.
One of those individuals is
a network scientist by the name of Ron Burt.
What Ron came to find was that networks and people's success is defined
by the size and openness of one's network.
So what does that mean?
What we're looking at here is a cluster, another term from network science.
People form clusters.
If you're born a democrat, you're probably going to stay a democrat.
If you go to a certain school,
you're in a cluster with other individuals at the same school.
So, this is the old paradigm.
And if you look at the individual, or the dot in the middle,
generally in life, we stay within clusters that we feel comfortable with;
there is a sense of security, there is a sense of affinity,
there is a confidence in being a part of something where we feel the same,
and we feel like others.
But to flip it on its head,
this is the new paradigm to networking and to relationship building;
it's one where the information is free,
it's one where the information is shared with other networks,
and other clusters, and not held captive within one cluster.
Another concept is this idea
to look at oneself as a broker or a connector.
That is an overused term that you hear quite often,
but this idea of brokering or connecting is extremely powerful.
If you look at the two individuals represented by the red dots,
they're sharing information between different clusters or different networks.
Think about those friends that always know the greatest music,
or the newest book, or the most exciting movie before anybody else does.
They share that information with others.
You have to be very confident to be a broker.
There is a confidence that comes from being a broker
and pushing back against the change and against society.
It's pushing back against the water and the fish
and going against the tide, if you will.
It's easy to stay within one's network and one's cluster,
it's harder to push the change and push the envelope
and go against the grain.
I like to think of my life as how can I spread warmth and generosity
to each and every person that I meet in life.
And if you think about it,
who doesn't want to be around somebody that's warm, and giving, and caring?
At the end of the day, the studies have shown, science has shown,
that people, when you meet somebody new,
and you always measure them on a sense of warmth
and on the sense of competence or intelligence.
Guess which one wins out? It's warmth.
This is my son.
I'm a little biased, I think he is one of the cutest babies on earth.
(Laughter)
But with that, I want you to look deeply into his eyes for a moment.
What do you see?
I see curiosity, I see an eagerness and a hunger for life.
I want to challenge us all to regain
that sense of hunger and curiosity in life.
Curious people are fun, curious people are present.
Curious people are willing to say, "I don't know,"
or admit when they're wrong.
Curious people are giving. Curious people are confident, too.
At the end of the day, networking simply is an overused term,
but I'd like us to think about it in three different ways:
networking is simply giving more than getting,
it's listening deeply,
and it's expanding warmth and care into everyone we meet in life.
And at the end of the day, everyone has a story.
The question is: will we listen long enough to hear it?
Thank you.
(Applause)