♪You suck at cooking yeah you totally suck♪
This video was brought to you by Hello Fresh, the meal kit delivery service that's gonna blow your fu--
Today we're gonna make super deluxe oven roasted mustard string beans.
What we're gonna do is take one large string bean, and then just give it a firm.
W H A C K
(nom)
Just pick up the pieces that didn't break down.
These stems are the reason that only one in 4 billion people cook string beans every year.
Now you can cut each stem off with a knife, but the repetitive motion will literally put you to sleep.
Which is really dangerous because you might end up having a nightmare.
So to be safe you wanna switch it up and use a different technique for each bean.
So we got the first one cut with a knife,
We'll remove the next one with a fork, we'll take the next one off with a spoon, you can use your favorite wrassler.
We're making good progress here.
Use your pepper pepper pepper.
You can work it down with a nail file.
You can liquid paper it and serve it on a white plate so no one can see it.
Use some 2-grit sandpaper and grind it off.
You can slam it on the cupboard door, burn it off with the power of fire.
Tape one to your skateboard, then totally thrash until it grinds off, you can dip the stem in hydrochloric acid, you can brush its teeth.
That's more just for hygiene.
Use a vacuum.
Use your nose hair trimmer.
Use your junk hair trimmer.
Photoshop the stem off, then pluck it.
Use the power of literature.
You can make it feel really insecure, that's just to be mean.
(whispers) You can use reverse psychology.
You know what guys? i don't think this bean is tough enough to de-stem itself.
(de-stems self)
Ash it like a cigarette.
Use a loose tooth method.
the world's worst cup sung
Cool it with ice until the stem is very brittle, line it up with a hard object,
then cut it off with a pair of scissors.
Okay, i'm not gonna show you every technique, cause some of them are private.
*W A S H*
Give them a toss, so they got all dried off.
(N O M)
Pour the oil right into the strainer, get them coated, a little pepper pepper pepper,
some salt.
Toss them some more, this way the excess oil will drain off.
So they're not cooking in a pool of oil, and then the secret weapon - whole grain mustard.
So spread those pretty evenly. Take a second and admire the beauty. Four hundred ( heat of oven ) - let's onion-chuck 'em.
If you want to go fancier than string beans, you can make string braids. Cutting your bean.
into three, but leave it attached at the bottom. Then, you just cross over each one.
'till it's braided. Then, take some green tape to camouflage it, and then cook that, and then I'm pretty sure you can digest the tape. (DO NOT DO THIS )
Should be fine. Oh -
Shit, give them a good wrasslin', flip, so forth, and whatnot. Bye!
Ow!
Finish them with some of your freshest salt. These beans will taste good anywhere from just barely cooked to.
almost burnt, so just go with your own texturanial preference..
And if you do end up burning the living hell out of them. Oh boy. Oh boy. Do I have something that could save you?
♫ And now a word from our sponsor: ♫
Hello Fresh is a meal kit delivery service that makes cooking super easy, especially if you suck at shopping.
I literally blacked out when I was making the peppercorn steak, and when I came to, it was done. Every week,
there's new recipes with instructions to make a meal in about 30 minutes, and it's shipped to your door for free. It's 4 AM.
I had them drop it in this alley 'cause if anyone finds out I'm cooking other people's recipes,
it'll completely destroy my reputation as a professional chef.
Go, go, go, go, go!
The ingredients are really fresh, and they're measured out, so you don't waste food.
I was kind of expecting adult-sized lunchables,
but I was pretty impressed by the variety of food that came in just this one box.
I cooked whole meals of food, I think, for the first time ever, and it was really, really easy.
And I totally found myself, which was such a bonus, and I think they're way better than their competitors,
Hello Compost.
and Hello Pizza Crust, which has branding issues and pizza crust issues. For
35 dollars off your first week of deliveries, go to hellofresh.com and enter "cooking", if you want to pay the full amount like a
Show-off, you can do that too, and i'm just gonna play a funny song to wrap this all up.
♪ I lied when i said ♪
♪ I was gonna play a funny song ♪
♪ Cause it's time for me to go to bed ♪
♪ You suck at cooking, oh my god, you suck ♪
(whispers) Keep your stems in a special place.
Forever.