♪ Listen, listen ♪
♪ Listen out loud ♪
♪ Find out all you need to know About life in the Loud House♪
Hey there, listeners. Lincoln Loud here.
I hope you're excited as I am to kick off this next batch of Loud House podcasts.
[cheering]
A-thank you. A-thank you.
And today, we're lucky to have a very special co-host.
Please give a warm welcome to the one, the only, Clyde McBride!
Woo! Yeah!
Thanks for having me, Lincoln.
Long time listener, first time co-host, and boy am I pumped to be here!
Listeners, we've got something awesome to tell you about.
Let's go to my backyard and check it out.
[door opening]
Clyde, watch out! Sprinkler!
[groaning]
Thanks, buddy. That was a close one!
Whoops, got a bit of water on the mic...
So today's podcast is all about our amazing new tree house.
[trumpet playing]
Huh, Luna must be practicing her trumpet again.
She really nailed that high C.
- Shall we climb? - After you, buddy!
[climbing]
Clyde and I spent weeks building this bad boy.
It may look a little wobbly,
and the floors are a little crooked,
- but... - Clyde!
- They can't see it. - Oh, right, right.
I mean, it's incredibly sturdy.
An architectural masterpiece!
A timeless work of art.
Well don't oversell it.
Ah, here we are!
Hmm, love that pine scent.
Yup! And you can see the whole neighborhood from up here.
Oh look! There's Mr. Grouse!
Hey, Mr. Grouse! Little car trouble?
[groaning]
Butt out, Loud!
Our bad. Our bad. Back to the tour.
When we designed the tree house,
our goal was to make it as relaxing as possible,
which means we had to have...
Bean bag chairs!
They really cradle your lower back!
Which is great for long hours of video game play.
And if we scoot the bean bags to the side,
we can show you something even cooler.
A hidden compartment in the floor.
It's got a lock on it that can only be opened if both of us are here.
That's right! We each only have half of the combination.
My part's done!
Mine too!
[door opening]
Pretty cool hiding spot, right?
It's the perfect place to hide super rare comics
that aren't safe at our houses.
But we don't have any of those yet.
So for now it's filled with snacks!
Oh, trail mix!
Dibs on the raisins!
Buddy, you're doing me a favor.
I'm more of a peanut man myself.
[chewing]
Ah, this is the life!
Agreed, my good man.
Now what do you say we tell them about the best part of the tree house?
The pièce de résistance.
- The hammock! - The hammock!
Clyde, where's our hammock?
I have no idea! It was right here this morning.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Someone must have stolen it!
But what kind of monster would do that?
There's only one way to find out.
We investigate.
Ace Savvy and One-Eye Jack style!
Good thing I always wear my One-Eye Jack costume under my clothes.
[taking off clothes]
Ditto!
[taking off clothes]
So, where should we begin?
By questioning the most likely suspects: my sisters.
Well, wait. Why are they the most likely suspects?
Trust me, they are. This is your lucky day, listeners!
You're gonna get a front row seat at a real live criminal investigation.
Let's go deal out some justice!
- Lynn! - Sup, Stinkin'?
We have some questions we'd like to ask you.
What have you been up to all morning?
- Uh, none of your beeswax. - Uh-huh.
Very suspicious.
OK, whatever. I'll play ball.
Uh, well first I ran a 10k, then I did like 100 pushups.
then I ate a meatball sub, then I did 100 more pushups.
Now I'm here talking to you dorks, carbo-loading with a pile of spaghetti.
[slurping]
- Satisfied? - Hardly.
Please excuse us for a moment.
Ace, her story sounds pretty plausible.
She's lying, Jack.
It's written all over her marinara-covered face.
This is the same rat that swiped the batteries from my alarm clock
for her ding-dang electric toothbrush.
OK that is pretty evil, but we have nothing that links her to the hammock.
Maybe we should move on to another sister.
Fine.
OK, Lynn. That'll be all for now.
- Just don't leave town. - But I've got an away game!
Look, One-Eye Jack. There's another suspect out in the driveway.
Let's go question her.
Lana... and Hops!
Good day to you Sir.
- Sup, guys? - Enough with the pleasantries!
We're gonna need you to tell us where you've been all morning.
I mean, I guess I've been right here in the driveway
working on an engine.
A likely story
I don't know, Ace. She is working on an engine.
Nice alibi. Can anyone corroborate it?
Corroborate? It's called a carburetor, you ding dong!
No, no, I mean, is there anyone who can confirm your whereabouts?
Oh yeah, Hops can!
He's been here with me the whole time!
Is that right, Hops?
No one is paying you to say that.
Ace, her alibi's water tight!
Don't fall for it, Jack!
This is the same little sneak
who once stole my leftover mac and cheese bites.
Well, you can't blame her.
That's one of your dad's most legendary dishes.
Fine, let's move on.
Please stand by, listeners.
[music playing]
OK, now we're outside Lola's room.
Considering her record, we probably should have come here first.
[screaming]
What are you two doing? This tea party is invite only!
This is a formal investigation!
Tell us, Lola, what have you been up to all morning?
I dunno, I was just here having a tea party!
- Then why are you sweating? - What are you trying to hide?
Nothing, you can't prove anything!
Just admit it, Lola, you're obviously guilty!
Fine, I did it, I'm sorry!
I've been hiding all of my vegetables under the couch for a month!
I didn't know they would attract so many maggots!
[sobbing]
Um, OK.
A. That's gross
and B. That's not what we're investigating!
Oh, then forget you ever heard that.
More tea, Eunice?
So, you didn't steal our hammock?
Eww, no!
Why would I steal a weird net bed?
You know I only sleep on the finest Egyptian cotton!
Well, Ace, I guess she checks out.
Checks out?
She already confessed to one crime!
She's probably on a spree!
I don't think we're getting anywhere with these interrogations.
- Maybe we should change our tactics? - What are you thinking, Jack?
Hmm, I got it!
Remember comic issue 415?
The one where Ace captures Snake Eyes?
Of course, a mysterious stranger broke into the fortress of Solitaire!
In order for Ace to figure out who it was,
he had to lure the burglar back to the scene of the crime!
Bingo!
We just need to find something to lure the thief back to the tree house!
Something irresistible!
Well, based on the fact that the thief stole a hammock,
we know it's someone who likes to relax.
And I've got the perfect bait!
Listeners, please stand by, we've got a trap to set.
[music playing]
OK, we're back in the tree house with Leni's Luxurious Bubbling Foot Spa.
It also comes equipped with soothing music
for extreme relaxation.
[music playing]
OK, Jack, to the bushes!
When the thief comes out to swipe the foot spa,
we'll jump out and nab him!
And now we wait.
Wow, even from down here that's really soothing!
[yawning]
Yeah, extremely relaxing.
[snoring]
[footsteps walking]
Ah, what was that?
Jack, there's someone in the tree house, let's move!
[screaming]
Dang it, my butt's asleep!
[music playing]
[groaning]
Stop right there!
- Hey! - Mr. Grouse?
I'm glad you're here,
did you see which one of my sisters took our hammock?
Your sisters?
I'm the one who took your hammock!
I'm not proud of it but here we are.
Why would you do that?
Well, I saw you kids set it up this morning
and boy, did it look like a slice of heaven!
So, I snuck up here to take a little cat nap
but when I woke up, I was all tangled in the dang thing!
I had to gnaw my way through the ropes to escape!
Good thing I sprang for the resin dentures.
Yep, my nana has those too, she can eat corn on the cob again!
Tell your nana we gotta hang!
Anyway, I went to the store to get a replacement hammock
and I was just coming up here to set it up
when I tripped over your blasted foot bubbler!
You boys need to learn to put your toys away!
Is that really the takeaway here?
Ah, you're right!
I had no business sneaking up here in the first place!
I hope you boys can forgive me.
What do you say, Jack?
I think we're thinking the same thing, Ace!
- It's no big deal! - It's no big deal!
That's our catchphrase!
Don't care, that's mine but I'm glad you forgive me.
See you around!
Hey, Mr. Grouse, tell you what,
if you ever wanna come back and use the hammock again,
you're welcome to.
Oh, I appreciate that--
Whoa!
On second thought,
maybe I'll wait until you put in an elevator.
Well, listeners, I guess I was wrong about my sisters.
Next time, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.
Now, how about we celebrate solving the case
with some juice boxes from our secret stash?
Sounds perfect, dibs on the fruit punch!
I'm glad to hear it, Lincoln, you're doing me a favor, buddy!
I'm more of an apple man myself.
There's my half of the combination.
There's mine.
[rattling]
[gasping]
Lana! Hops!
How d'you get into our secret compartment?
Maybe you bird brains should have come up
with a better combination than your birthdays!
Aww, you know my birthday?
- Is that really the takeaway, Clyde? - Fair point.
Well, listeners,
looks like we've come to the end of another Listen Out Loud podcast.
See you next time!