Transcriber: Yusuf Soylu Reviewer: David DeRuwe
Hello, my name is Elena Gosse,
and I would like to talk to you about the importance of finding your voice.
Why?
Because the ability to express yourself confidently
and pursue your dreams is vital.
Without your voice,
you have no identity or future that aligns with your life purpose.
I know because it is something I've experienced in my life.
Let’s face it. To have a voice is an amazing gift.
It is both a privilege and our responsibility.
Our voices have the capacity to seal a deal,
break a heart, or change the world,
and when you find your voice
and then choose the words that have not previously been spoken,
that is when the real magic happens.
As you may guess from the sound of my voice,
I am Russian,
but what you may not guess is the journey that led my voice here today.
To set a scene for my talk today,
I am going to borrow some words from the late Australian musician Helen Reddy,
“I am Woman.”
Some of you may know the opening lyrics, which are so incredibly powerful:
“I am woman, hear me roar In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend ’Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again.”
Although Helen Reddy's hit was written back in 1971,
it is still so relevant today.
This song is a great reminder that we must all find our own voice
and then our collective voices will ensure that our voices are not only heard
but valued,
as we continue to pave the way for our daughters.
When I was growing up,
I was encouraged to shut down my voice.
So often I was told, “You should be seen and not heard,”
or “You are so pretty, you do have to be smart.”
or “Silence is golden.”
I now know ...
that silence is not golden.
To me, silence was a prison for my soul.
Feminist author Rebecca Solnit explains it so well:
“Silence is the ocean of the unspeakable,
the unsaid, the repressed, the erased, and the unheard.
It surrounds the scattered islands of those allowed to speak
and of what can be said and who listens.”
Silence occurs in many ways for many reasons.
Each of us has his or her own sea of unspoken words.
Growing up as a girl or young woman,
as a female in a particular culture, which is, in my case, Russian,
I was not encouraged
to have a voice or voice my opinions.
My upbringing included a dominating father,
a kind mother, and two sisters.
My father didn’t appreciate my independent and creative spirit,
and often would try and silence me and crush my dreams.
I wanted to be an actress,
but he told me
I was not worthy of attending a theater college.
He wanted me to join the police academy, and do you know why?
Because he had connections there,
and I wouldn’t have to sit exams.
Unfortunately, there are many people in life who may not believe
or know what you are capable of.
Sometimes these people are those who we love and trust the most,
just like my late father.
And I call them “dream takers”
and the risk of dream takers is that they can make you to lose confidence
and stop trying to achieve very early in life.
They deny you the opportunity to learn that failure
is not necessarily a bad thing, but can be an important part of learning.
Dream takers simply take your voice away.
In his book, “You Don’t Have to Be Born Brilliant,”
John McGrath warns, “Don’t let the dream takers spoil your journey.
Accept that some people will cheer you on and others will not.”
And although my father was not my cheerleader,
his misguided attempt to help actually caused me to grow in confidence
and pursue my dreams with passion.
People often say to me, “Oh, you are so lucky,”
but trust me, luck had absolutely nothing to do with it.
I worked hard towards my goals, towards finding my unique voice,
and then practicing it, making sure it is confident
and strong enough to be heard.
And while it took me a while to develop my voice,
now when I have it,
I love it, and I will never be silent again.
I now know that my father was my greatest teacher,
and despite his best efforts,
I learned to harness my creativity and be in tune with my natural abilities.
I learned to be vulnerable.
I realized that the only person
who could stop me from achieving my dreams was me.
Today, dream takers are not invited into my life.
I choose the people who are ready to step up and lead,
the people who are ready to co-create a better future,
the people who value my voice.
And if I could find my voice,
so could you.
We’ve all heard that “fake it till you make it” line,
but I don’t agree with that.
By staying true to myself, I know who I am.
I am in control of my own life and my own destiny.
I have found my voice and as Helen Reddy sings:
“No one’s ever gonna keep me down again.”
And then, if you are listening, I have a message for you:
I love you.
I would not be the person I am today
without your life lessons.
And by the way, I am not going to join the police academy anytime soon.