[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]
Woman: ANYTHING GOES.
ANYTHING GOES, THERE'S NO RIGHT OR WRONG.
NO RIGHT OR WRONG.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
David: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?
YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!
Woman 2: YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DO THIS, DAVID.
David: I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.
Woman 2: LOOK, GIVE IT A TRY.
David: I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.
I HATE THIS.
Woman 2: IF YOU DON'T DO IT,
FORGET ABOUT GOING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS TONIGHT.
COME ON.
MAYBE YOU'LL MEET SOME NICE PEOPLE.
Man: I MEAN, THERE ARE A FEW MINOR NAMES FROM BEFORE HIM,
BUT IN GENERAL, PALESTRINA IS THE FIRST ONE
ANYONE'S REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT TODAY.
HE DID A LOT OF SACRED MASSES.
THEN, OF COURSE, THERE WAS THE BAROQUE ERA,
WHICH REALLY STARTED WITH MONTEVERDI.
PALESTRINA WAS RENAISSANCE.
AND THEN HE MOVED ON TO MONTEVERDI.
HE BASICALLY INVENTED OPERA.
HE TOOK THE THING THAT...
David: SAY, I WAS GONNA GO TO SOME EXCLUSIVE PARTY LATER TONIGHT.
YEAH, I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU EVER WANTED TO GET TOGETHER SOME TIME OR...
I MEAN, COULD I EVER CALL YOU SOMETIME OR SOMETHING?
Woman 3: YEAH, BUT THE PIZZA'S NICE AND HOT.
David: MAYBE I COULD CALL YOU OR SOMETHING?
I THINK YOU'RE VERY PRETTY,
YOU KNOW? WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE?
Woman 3: ACTUALLY, SO IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME PIZZA, IT'S HERE RIGHT NOW.
THAT'S IT.
SO, HEY, FOLKS, THANKS FOR COMING.
SO WHILE WE ALL CAME TOGETHER TODAY,
AND WE KIND OF HAD A PARTY, RIGHT?
All: YEAH!
Woman: SO LET'S TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT PARTIES
SINCE WE'VE GOT SOMEONE WITH A BIRTHDAY COMING UP.
MAYBE WE COULD PLAN A BIRTHDAY PARTY, WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
Nicky: LAST YEAR, MY MOTHER,
FOR MY BIRTHDAY, BOUGHT ME A NEW SUIT.
BOY, WAS I HAPPY.
YES, I WAS AS HAPPY AS A CLAM ON -- ON -- ON --
ON A BEACH IN RHODE ISLAND.
Woman: HANG ON, NICKY,
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE OFF-TOPIC.
SINCE WE'RE PLANNING THIS PARTY FOR AMY,
AND SINCE SARAH IS REALLY GOOD FRIENDS WITH AMY,
I THINK MAYBE, SARAH, WOULD YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE
PARTNERING UP WITH SOMEBODY AND GETTING A GIFT?
Sarah: YEAH, I LOVE SHOPPING!
LIKE, SHOULD I USE SHOP TILL YOU DROP?
I LOVE THAT SHOPPING. Woman: OH, YEAH?
Sarah: IT'S REALLY FUN TO GO SHOPPING NOWADAYS.
Man 3: AY-YI-YI.
Woman: DAVID, SINCE IT'S YOUR FIRST DAY,
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT GOING OUT WITH SARAH
FOR A GIFT FOR AMY?
DO YOU THINK MAYBE YOU COULD GIVE IT A TRY?
-David: I DON'T KNOW. -Woman: THAT COULD BE FUN.
-Man 2: YEAH. -Woman 4: OOH!
David: WHAT?
I'M SORRY, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS, OKAY?
I'M SORRY, I CAN'T.
Sarah: WHAT ARE WE GONNA GET FOR AMY?
David: I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW.
Sarah: IF WE DO IT TOGETHER, WE'RE GONNA ACE THE PROJECT.
WE'RE GONNA DO SO WELL.
David: THERE'S A NEWSSTAND OVER HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU BUY HER SOME CIGARETTES OR NUTS OR SOMETHING?
A MAGAZINE OR SOMETHING?
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW.
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, HERE.
I'LL GIVE YOU $20.
Sarah: THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE INTERACTIVE.
David: I'LL GIVE YOU MORE MONEY. WANT ME TO GIVE YOU MORE MONEY?
Sarah: BUT, PLEASE,
DAVID, I REALLY FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT DOING THIS WITH YOU.
David: I'M SORRY.
Sarah: I JUST FEEL SO DEVOTED TO DOING THE PROJECT WITH YOU.
David: I'M SORRY, YOU KNOW?
Sarah: BUT SINCE I FEEL UP TO IT,
I FEEL SO DEVOTED TO DOING IT WITH YOU.
AND YOU'RE SO HOT, AND YOU'RE SO ATTRACTIVE.
[ BEEPS ]
Sarah: DAVID, WHAT'S WRONG?
David: TAXI!
Sarah: DAVID, WHAT ABOUT MY BUS?
David: NO, I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THE BUS.
BUS IS FOR A BUNCH OF FREAKS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THE BUS.
-Sarah: BUT, DAVID -- -David: TAXI!
Sarah: I'VE NEVER TAKEN CABS BEFORE, AND IT'S REALLY NERVE-RACKING.
BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE BUS STOP THAT STOPS
TO WHERE I NEED TO GO TO GET TO MY GRANDPA'S HOME SAFELY.
David: IT'S LIKE THAT PROGRAM HAS YOUR BRAIN WASHED,
LIKE THE MOVIE "RAINMAN," YOU KNOW?
THEY GIVE YOU A SYSTEM FOR EVERYTHING.
"OH, I GOT TO GO TO KMART AT 5:00.
GOT TO GO TO BED BY 10:00.
LIGHTS OUT AT 11:00," YOU KNOW? YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
THIS IS NOT "RAINMAN," THIS IS REAL LIFE.
I MEAN, WHAT'S THE MATTER, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE?
Sarah: I'M -- I'M REALLY NERVOUS IN A CAB.
David: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I FIND NERVE-RACKING?
THE BUS -- BEING WITH THOSE WEIRDOS
AND SCARY PEOPLE, PEOPLE THAT CAN'T
AFFORD THE CABS.
IT FEELS LIKE A LOW ELEMENT,
WHERE THE TAXI CAB'S A HIGHER ELEMENT.
THEY TREAT YOU LIKE A KING, LIKE A PRINCE.
RIGHT NOW, I'M THE PRINCE
AND THIS IS THE PRINCESS IN THE BACK SEAT.
SO HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU, SIR?
Man: $7.50.
David: HERE'S $20.
KEEP THE CHANGE.
YOU GOT TO BE COOL, YOU KNOW?
YOU CAN'T JUST BE ALL UPTIGHT AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.
Sarah: YOU KNOW, I WAS DOING IT TO BE FLEXIBLE
AND CALM DOWN AND GO WITH THE FLOW.
David: YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT, EITHER.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THESE EXPRESSIONS.
JUST SAY, "YEAH, OKAY, COOL."
LIFE'S TOO SHORT, YOU KNOW, YOU ONLY LIVE LIFE ONCE.
ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT. ENJOY EVERY MINUTE.
Sarah: DAVID, MAYBE TAKE IT ONE LIFE STAGE AT A TIME.
David: YEAH. [ BELL JINGLES ]
HEY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I GOT A LOT OF MONEY ON ME, I MEAN...
Sarah: I CAN'T GO OVER MY BUDGET RANGE,
SO THIS IS FINE.
I NEED TO STICK WITH MY BUDGET RANGE,
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SO LITTLE LEFT
WITH NO MORE TO SPEND.
I'M WHERE I CAN'T AFFORD IT ANY MORE.
AND I'M REALLY WORKING HARD TO BE AWARE AND CONSCIOUS
OF WHAT I'M SPENDING.
I'M TRYING TO BE COOL,
BUT I REALLY NEED TO STICK WITHIN MY BUDGET RANGE.
SO JUST THIS.
[ VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING ]
Sarah: UH, DO YOU -- DO YOU --
WHAT THINGS DO YOU HAVE THAT HAVE NO YEAST?
Man: NOTHING. David: DO HOT DOGS HAVE YEAST?
Man: HOT DOGS?
David: SO A GUY WALKS INTO A PORNO STORE, RIGHT?
AND SAYS, "I WANT AN INFLATABLE DOLL."
Sarah: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY INFLATABLE?
David: YOU KNOW, THOSE SEX DOLLS.
AND HE GOES, "DO YOU WANT A MALE DOLL OR A FEMALE DOLL?"
HE GOES, "I WANT A FEMALE DOLL,
OF COURSE! WHAT DO YOU THINK, I'M GAY,
I WANT TO DO IT WITH A MALE DOLL?"
"HOW ABOUT THIS, DO YOU WANT
A BLACK DOLL OR A WHITE DOLL?" "I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS I WANT A WHITE DOLL."
Sarah: THAT'S RACIST.
David: "I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION -- I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION FOR YOU.
DO YOU WANT A JEWISH INFLATABLE DOLL
OR A CHRISTIAN INFLATABLE DOLL OR A MUSLIM INFLATABLE DOLL?"
HE GOES, "WHY DO YOU ASK ME THAT?"
"'CAUSE THE MUSLIMS, THEY BLOW THEMSELVES UP!"
Sarah: HOW DO THEY BLOW THEMSELVES UP?
David: ALLAH!
YOU KNOW, LIKE -- LIKE -- YOU DON'T GET IT?
Sarah: NO, I DON'T.
David: SO, SO YOU KNOW THAT GIRL
THAT SAID I'M NOT WORKING DURING THE WEEK
BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO CAMP AT BRANFORD?
Sarah: RIGHT.
David: SO I GO, "OH, WELL, I'M JEWISH, I DON'T LIKE" --
Sarah: HOLD ON. WHAT CAMP IS THIS?
David: I DON'T KNOW, I THINK IT'S A CONCENTRATION CAMP.
[ CHUCKLES ] I'M JUST KIDDING.
[ LAUGHS ] THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
I NEED TO CONCENTRATE.
Sarah: RIGHT.
SO WHAT CAMP IS THIS?
-David: I'M NOT SURE. -Sarah: OKAY.
David: I -- I -- BUT, BUT, BUT, I GO,
"I DON'T LIKE TO GO TO NO CAMPS. I'M JEWISH."
Sarah: WELL, I'M JEW-- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, DAVID?
I'M JEWISH, BUT I'VE BEEN TO SLEEP-AWAY CAMP,
AND I'VE PERFORMED AT A LOT OF MUSICAL THEATER PRODUCTIONS
AND PLAYS.
David: OH, IT'S A STUPID JOKE I SAID. I'M SORRY.
Sarah: CAN YOU GIVE ME A TIME TO ASK YOU, MAYBE,
WHAT THE JOKE MEANS?
David: I'LL EXPLAIN THE JOKE. NO, I'LL EXPLAIN THE JOKE.
Sarah: BECAUSE SO I DON'T HAVE TO --
WHERE YOU BLOW YOURSELF UP COULD HAVE MULTIPLE MEANINGS.
David: IT'S NOT -- YEAH, IT'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE MULTIPLE MEANINGS.
JUST LIKE WITH --
Sarah: MAYBE WHEN THERE'S A PAUSE, I COULD ASK
YOU FOR CLARIFICATION -- WAIT, DON'T INTERRUPT ME.
I COULD ASK YOU FOR CLARIFICATION.
David: I'M GETTING NERVOUS.
Sarah: MAYBE WHEN THERE'S -- MAYBE WHEN THERE'S A PAUSE
TO ASK YOU SO I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.
David: SORRY, SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT.
I'M JUST SAYING THAT -- WHERE DID YOU GO?
-[ SHUDDERS ] -Sarah: [ CHUCKLES ]
David: HAKUNA MATATA! I LIKE WHEN HE MAKES THAT FACE.
Sarah: WHEN HE MAKES THAT KIND OF EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE, YEAH.
David: HAVE YOU SEEN "THE LITTLE MERMAID"?
Sarah: YEAH, I LOVE -- I DIDN'T SEE THE PLAY.
I'VE SEEN THE PLAY, BUT I'VE SEEN THE ACTUAL MOVIE VERSION.
♪ PART OF YOUR WORLD! ♪
David: ♪ YOUR WORLD! ♪
♪ UP WHERE THEY WALK, UP WHERE THEY RUN! ♪
♪ IF THEY COULD STAY ALL DAY IN THE SUN! ♪
♪ WANDERING FREE, WISH I COULD BE PART OF YOUR WORLD ♪
David: I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS I GET STRESSED OUT AND NERVOUS EVERY NOW AND THEN.
BUT I'VE BEEN GOOD FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW.
YOU KNOW, I PARTY ALL THE TIME,
I TAKE ALL THESE TRIPS TO VEGAS AND CAPE COD AND MIAMI.
-LET ME ASK YOU THIS, SARAH. -Sarah: YES, DAVID.
David: DID ANYBODY EVER MAKE YOU THINK THAT,
"OH, THIS KID'S JUST A TALL BUM WITH NO FUTURE?
ALL HE DOES IS PARTY AND DOESN'T WORK AT ALL
AND JUST PLAYS ALL THE TIME"?
YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT?
Sarah: OH, DAVID, DON'T THINK LIKE THAT.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE ANY OF THOSE THINGS, DAVID.
YOU'RE NOT -- YOU'RE NOT LIKE THAT, DAVID.
I THINK YOU SHARE A LOT OF VARIETY
OF WONDERFUL, POSITIVE QUALITIES IN THE INSIDE IN YOUR HEART.
I THINK YOU'RE REALLY SMART,
REALLY SEXY, CHARMING, HANDSOME, OUTGOING, WARM.
David: OH.
Sarah: AND JUST SO ATTRACTIVE AND GOOD-LOOKING.
David: THANK YOU.
Sarah: YOU'RE SO COOL. YOU'RE WELCOME.
David: WHAT ARE YOU DOING LATER TONIGHT?
[ UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING ]
David: HEY, MATT!
Matt: WHAT'S UP? David: HOW YOU DOING, MAN?
Matt: HOW YOU DOING?
David: THIS IS MY COUSIN MATT. THIS IS SARAH.
Matt: HI, SARAH.
Sarah: OH, I'M SO HAPPY, SO EXCITED AND BLESSED TO MEET YOU TWO.
Matt: DAVID'S A REALLY GOOD GUY. David: THANK YOU.
Sarah: REALLY SEXY, A REALLY ATTRACTIVE PRINCE.
David: YEAH, I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY SEXY YOURSELF.
Sarah: THANK YOU, DAVID.
[ LAUGHTER ]
David: SO, MATT, I WAS JUST GONNA -- LATER TONIGHT,
GO BACK TO HER PLACE, I THINK, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
-Woman: OH. -Woman 2: WEAR A CONDOM.
Sarah: OH! [ LAUGHS ] I LOVE CONDOMS!
I LIVE IN A CONDOM.
Matt: [ LAUGHS ]
David: HOW ABOUT THOSE DRINKS, EH?
-Sarah: THAT'S REALLY FUNNY. -David: HOW ABOUT THOSE DRINKS?
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, JUST... [ LAUGHS ]
SHE'S JUST SHELTERED, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
SHE MEANT CONDOMINIUM-- MINIUM.
Sarah: I'M NOT ONLY HIS PRINCESS, BUT I'M AN ACTRESS,
I'M A SINGER, AND I'M REALLY MUSICAL AND THEATRICAL.
Matt: YEAH? Sarah: I'VE BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE.
Matt: WOW. Sarah: [ VOCALIZING OFF-KEY ]
David: OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, HOW ABOUT IF WE GET A SHOT OF DRINKS?
-Matt: BEAUTIFUL. -Sarah: THANK YOU!
A LYRIC SOPRANO SINGER.
David: YOU JUST TALK TOO MUCH.
OKAY, JUST DON'T EMBARRASS YOURSELF, OKAY?
Sarah: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
David: ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE DOING IT NOW. JUST SHUSH, SHUSH.
-Sarah: CAN YOU CLARIFY? -David: SHUSH!
Sarah: I NEED FURTHER CLARIFICATION.
David: SHH! SORRY!
Sarah: I'M TRYING TO GET TO KNOW THESE PEOPLE.
David: ZIP IT!
Sarah: I'M TRYING TO BE SOCIALLY INTERACTIVE AND INCLUDE MYSELF.
I DON'T APPRECIATE THAT.
David: ALL RIGHT, JUST FOR A MINUTE, PLEASE.
I'VE GOT TO...
Matt: DAVE, REMEMBER WHEN AUNT NANCY
SENT ALL THOSE SEX JOKES ON APRIL FOOLS?
David: HEY, I GOT A GOOD SEX JOKE FOR YOU, OKAY.
A GUY WALKS INTO A SEX SHOP, RIGHT?
HE SAYS, "I WANT AN INFLATABLE DOLL."
HE GOES, "DO YOU WANT A MALE DOLL OR A FEMALE DOLL?"
HE GOES, "I WANT A FEMALE DOLL,
WHAT, DO YOU THINK I'M GAY?"
HE GOES, "DO YOU WANT A BLACK DOLL OR A WHITE DOLL?"
"I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS A WHITE DOLL."
"DO YOU WANT A JEWISH BLOW-UP DOLL, A CHRISTIAN BLOW-UP DOLL,
OR A MUSLIM BLOW-UP DOLL?"
HE GOES, "I GUESS I WANT A MUSLIM BLOW-UP DOLL
BECAUSE THE MUSLIMS, THEY BLOW THEMSELVES UP."
[ CHUCKLING ]
Matt: I DON'T KNOW, DUDE.
GO FOR IT. YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
Woman: WHOO!
[ LAUGHTER ]
Matt: NOW THE NIGHT IS COMPLETE.
David: I PROMISED YOU I WAS GONNA TAKE YOU HOME, SARAH.
HOW ARE YOU GONNA GET HOME NOW?
[ BUS RUMBLING ]
[ BEEPING ]
Man: ARE YOU GETTING ON OR NOT?
$2.50.
-David: KEEP THE CHANGE. -Man: EXACT CHANGE.
David: [ LAUGHS ]
UM...
ONE, TWO, THREE, UM...
[ MOANS ]
[ COIN CLATTERS ]
[ MOANS ]
Sarah: JUST ONE, TWO. TWO OF THOSE.
AND TWO QUARTERS.
THAT'S IT.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]