- Who do you want to be
and what's keeping you from grasping
a hold of that destiny and rising up
and becoming that person?
We've got the question,
Marvel's "Agent Carter" has got the answer, Mended Light.
(gentle instrumental music)
Welcome to "Agent Carter Gets Therapizzed".
I am moving through all of the Marvel TV shows,
at your request, because we do listen to you,
gentle viewers.
So I'm starting with Agent Carter.
If you haven't watched it, don't sleep on it.
It tells the story of Peggy Carter
after Captain America goes into the ice,
and we're going to take a look at some flashbacks,
like how did she become an awesome,
amazing, super spy, right?
How did she become that person?
And the lesson for us today is choosing who you want to be.
Because all of us have friends, and family members,
concerned loved ones, and maybe some people
who are shady and manipulative
trying to guide us to become something
or to make certain choices for our lives.
But who do you want to be and how do you make that choice?
So we're gonna start with Peggy
when she's a little girl playing with her brother in,
I guess, late 1920s, early 1930s in England.
Here we go.
(gentle instrumental music)
- I will slay you, dragon,
and save the princess.
(gentle instrumental music)
Now, fair maiden,
I will cut off the dragon's head.
- So she's the girl, but she's also the knight.
- Give it back. - Here it is,
come on, take it.
- Michael, give it to me.
(gentle instrumental music)
(Jonathan laughing)
- Margaret Elizabeth Carter.
(gentle instrumental music)
You'll be the death of me, Peggy Carter.
Hmm, where is my blasted handkerchief?
(laughing together)
Oh, go on, have a laugh,
but one of these days you're going to have
to start behaving like a lady.
- Four. - Oh, sorry,
I'm starved.
- Alicia can relate to this because I love that Peggy here,
there's still a damsel in distress, it's just not her.
She's the one who's gonna rescue,
she's wearing the superman cape, and she's got the sword,
so she's kinda like a knight and a superhero all at once,
or maybe her knight has a red cape, I don't know.
But point is she sees herself as a hero
on a quest for adventure to do good, to help people,
and to be a fighter.
And her mom says, "You need to grow up and be a lady,
you've gotta start acting like a lady,
this is improper, this is inappropriate."
How many of you watching,
and I want to know in the comments below,
grew up being told that
who you wanted to be was inappropriate?
- You're a woman, no man will ever consider you an equal.
- Or that who you feel you have inside
was not the right path for you
and that you needed to grow out of it?
Let me know what that was like.
But this is her experience.
Alicia's mom, and I love my mother-in-law,
but Alicia's mom had very specific ideas
about how girls should behave,
and Alicia didn't fit any of that. (laughs)
Alicia's very "Agent Carter".
So now we flash forward a little bit,
this is still before World War II,
this is still before she meets Captain America,
but Peggy is engaged, and she got an invitation,
like her brother put in a good word for her,
and she was invited to work for the government as a spy
in World War II, because the enemy doesn't think twice
about women, doesn't look at them as potential spies
or soldiers, and so they were gonna recruit her.
And she opted to get married instead.
So she's at her engagement party.
- A toast to my two favorite men meeting at last.
- [Fred] Cheers.
- Come on, Peggy, slug it back.
You won't beat your old brother this time,
I've been practicing.
- Michael, not here.
- You can do that? - Not recently.
- So Michael, tell me,
how goes on the front?
- Well, there are lots of Nazis there
and they tend to shoot at you a great deal.
Apart from that, the scenery is blended.
- Do you let me know if there's anything
you feel the Home Office isn't providing.
I have a direct line to command,
consider me your personal concierge.
- It's very kind of you, Fred.
(gentle instrumental music)
- Did I tell you I was recruited to be spy?
- We turned them down, of course.
- Hmm. - Did we?
- Can you imagine risking life
and limb behind enemy lines doing God knows what?
That's not our Peg.
- Her brother knows better. - One thing I've learned
from the war, a boring life is a privilege.
(gentle instrumental music)
I'll get us a top up.
(gentle instrumental music)
- Here he is. - So, what do you think?
- What does it matter what I think,
you're the one marrying him.
- Of course it matters, I want you to like him.
- Why did you turn down the SOE job?
- It just wasn't the plan that we had for our lives.
How did you know it was SOE?
- Because I recommended you
- Michael, you should have told me.
- Look, Peggy,
I know you better than anyone else alive,
and this isn't what you want.
- What is it that you think I want?
- The same thing you've wanted since you were a little girl,
a life of adventure.
- I've grown up, my dreams changed.
- No, you've just let everyone else drum them out of you.
Look, Fred's a nice enough chap,
but be honest, is he the love of your life?
Is this really how you see your future?
This is my engagement party, Michael.
- But not your wedding day.
Look, there is still time to change your mind.
- I don't have to listen to this.
- Don't worry what other people think,
you are meant to fight.
Stop pretending to be someone that you're not.
Peg. - So here's the thing,
se sees her, he cares about her,
but he's doing what a lot of people do,
which is tell you how to live your life.
Now he's coming at it from a genuine place
of he knows who she is or who she's always been.
It is entirely possible
that she's grown up and changed her dreams, that happens.
And in which case, you know,
he's still saying what he needs to say,
but he needs to honor her choice.
And he does, he backs off.
So here she is preparing for her wedding day.
And we'll get to what does this mean for all of us
in just a minute.
- Mom, we can't have you weeping all through the ceremony.
- Can I help cry when I'm happy?
Where is my blasted handkerchief?
- She's always looking for her handkerchief.
There's the letter from the SOE inviting her to be a spy.
Her little daughter's grown up and.
- Let's get this dress off before I stain it.
- Acting like a lady, getting married,
gonna have babies.
Again, not an invalid life path at all
if that's who you want to be and what you want to do.
For many, it's a very beautiful life path.
But is it who Peggy is?
- [Amanda] Stewart, what is it?
(gentle instrumental music)
- Great acting here by Haley Atwell in just a second.
(gentle instrumental music)
(Amanda crying)
(Peggy sobbing)
- Michael.
(gentle instrumental music)
- So obviously her brother's gone, killed in battle.
(gentle instrumental music)
And Peggy pivots from one life to another.
She's gonna go join the fight.
(gentle instrumental music)
There's a line from "Batman Begins",
"People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy."
And that's not exactly what's going on here,
her brother's not a dramatic example
and she wasn't apathetic,
but sometimes it takes major shifts,
major shakeups in life to point us
in the direction that we always wanted to go.
Sometimes it takes that.
What is it gonna take for you or for me to grow
into the person that we were born to become?
- Become who you are born to be.
- Right, what do we have inside of us
that we're afraid to step into for fear of judgment
or for fear of displeasing others, right?
Her brother says,
"Stop worrying about what other people think and want,
what do you want out of life?"
And we do, we have some responsibility towards other people,
we do.
But the fact is, each of us has to choose our path,
each of us has to choose who we're going to be,
and we need to be careful not to make a choice
that we're going to look in the mirror and say,
I wish I'd gone this other way.
Every door you open closes another door,
that's just life and it's inescapable
that some of those choices we look back on
with hindsight and we regret them,
there's no way to completely avoid that.
The thing we can avoid is choices that we know
when we're making 'em are not the right choice, right?
There are choices that we make them in good faith
that they're the right choice, and then we later say,
I wish I'd done something different, we can't escape that.
But what about when you know, this isn't what I want,
this isn't who I want to be.
So now, here she is,
she's a super spy, she loved Captain America,
she lost Captain America, she's catching bad guys
and stopping atrocities, and she has this dream.
(gentle instrumental music)
- Hello?
Daniel?
Rose?
Anyone?
Who turned out color?
(gentle instrumental music)
Michael?
- Come now, Peggy,
black and white, couldn't you have made this experience
a bit more vibrant? - What are you doing here?
- I could ask you the same question.
You've gotten yourself into quite a fix this time.
- I wouldn't even be in this situation
had you not put me up for the SOE position to begin with,
and then gotten yourself killed
just so I would take up your flag.
- Yes, very rude of me,
my sincere apologies. - I'm only doing
what you wanted me to do.
- No, darling, you're doing what you wanted to do.
- I miss you, Michael.
- I'd be here right alongside you if I could, Peggy.
(gentle instrumental music)
- No, darling,
you're doing what you wanted to do, right?
I'm only doing what you wanted me to.
No, I just reminded you of what you had inside.
If you're watching this, what do you have inside?
Who do you want to be?
What are you not doing
with your life right now that you always wanted to be doing,
and what's stopping you?
You may think the obstacles are insurmountable,
but usually they just boil down to fear.
Fear of judgment, fear of disappointment,
fear of failure.
It's inescapable
that some will judge you, no matter what you do.
by the way, no matter what path you take,
some will judge you for it,
because everyone has what they value,
and if you choose something that's different
from what they value, they're likely gonna judge you for it.
Unless they value personal freedom,
in which case they'll say, good for you.
It's likely you'll disappoint some people.
But not because you're a disappointment, but because,
again, of what do they value, right?
What do they value?
- These men you call your colleagues,
they don't respect you, they don't even see you.
Do you honestly expect they'll change their minds?
- I expect I will make them.
- Incidentally, if you're afraid of that rejection
or of disappointing somebody,
I encourage you to watch a video called
How to Overcome Fear of Rejection
that's gonna pop up at the end of this one,
and you can click on it and watch.
But it's unavoidable that you're going to fail.
Failure is a part of success.
We all stumble, we all learn from our mistakes.
If you embrace that as part of the process,
it's not scary anymore.
What do you have inside you?
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to put out in the world?
What do you want to create?
How do you want to help?
What talents and passions do you have that can serve others?
What talents and passions do you have
that can bring fulfillment to you,
and are you utilizing them?
If not, take a page from Peggy Carter's book,
step in, and embrace the magic that you have inside you.
If you need some help and some guidance on this path,
I encourage you to check out our Mended Light Membership
where we have online video courses on mental health,
emotional health, relationships,
trauma recovery.
We have a virtual Book of the Month Club
where Alicia and I do podcast episodes
on a book that we're reading
and a discussion at the end of every month,
and live Q&As with us to help you
in your process of self-actualization, right,
in your process of self-discovery.
- I'm so lucky to have a man as brave,
as strong as Captain America.
(suspenseful music)
- Who write this rubbish? - I rather enjoy it actually.
Although the real thing is considerably more impressive.
- As always, folks,
keep shining, because we need your light.
I'll see you in the next video.
(gentle instrumental music)