I remember thinking to myself, man this is it.
I'm about to share this secret that I've never told anyone.
I can remember my heart just racing and just adrenaline and thinking that
I can't believe I'm going to do this.
My mom sitting here to my left and my dad was sitting right here.
And I pulled up the ottoman there and I said mom, dad, I've got
something to tell you.
I remember my mom, she just kept repeating and crying, my boy, my boy.
I remember my dad just kind of staring off into space.
And just the hurt.
As a little boy, playing sports is just kind of the
pinnacle of your life.
It's kind of what your life revolves around.
And you're doing it with your friends and your having such a good time.
But I can remember at the same time, there was something else going on in
my life that no one knew about.
Coach would always--
he was the most popular coach.
If you wanted your kid on all-star team, if you wanted your team to win
the championship, you wanted your kids on his team.
He would always have us over to his house.
Maybe it was to have pizza and just hang out, go watch movies.
He had a lake house that he would take us out to and take us skiing.
My parents never let me go out there by myself and so it was always me and
two or three or four, or even five or six of my best buddies.
We were always out there together.
We were staying up late, we were playing cards.
We were watching movies we probably shouldn't be watching.
He is taking us skiing and swimming.
And so he just, I guess drew you in with those things.
And then, obviously did the abuse.
I can remember coming home many times after being abused and just feeling
this sense of filth.
Just dirt.
Terrified that I had some kind of disease or I was going
to end up with AIDS.
I can remember just being terrified.
There were times where I tried to work up the courage to say something but my
philosophy was, I'll just wait for somebody else to come forward.
And then, maybe then I'll come forward and say, yeah that
happened, that was true.
And so I just waited.
From eight-years-old until really 19, I don't know of a day that went by
where I didn't think about what he had done to me and the innocence that he'd
stolen from me and just the confusion that was in my own heart and life.
I really credit my mom and dad and my relationship with Christ for the fact
that I was still sane and hadn't gone crazy dealing with this and thinking
about it every single day.
There's a verse in the scripture found in Matthew chapter 11 verse 28, and
it's Jesus speaking.
He says come to me, all you who are tired and have heavy burdens and I'll
give you rest.
And I can just remember going, that's me.
I can imagine the sleepless nights that my mom and dad had.
Those weeks following up as we began to walk through the justice system.
But I know for me, I slept better than I'd ever slept that night after
telling my parents simply because I finally had a rest.
I'd gotten that which was dark, and it had been brought in to light.
And just experienced God's mercy and God's grace and his faithfulness
unlike any other time in my life.
I'm not here without Christ.
I have no hope without Christ.
I'm lost in bitterness and anger and frustration without Christ.
He has totally restored any years that the enemy might have taken from me.
And so he is first.
My name is Jarrett Stevens, and I am Second.