1900.
Verbena are not water soluble.
1901.
Even if my Jedi has a Scottish accent, can't have a plaid lightsaber.
1902.
Playing a Gamorrian doesn't violate anybody's religion.
1903.
No ruining the game by informing the DM the Yellow Power Ranger is dead.
1904.
Prepping for the adventure means memorizing spells and buying gear, not coming up with
a safety word.
1905.
No nailing the GM's girlfriend's character.
1906.
I will ask permission before performing an autopsy in another character's hideout.
1907.
No putting the villain's fake bio on Match.com and letting the stalkers do my work for me.
1908.
No matter what the rules say, my psychotic racist character doesn't get a permanent persuasion
bonus just because she puts out.
1909.
Combat boots don't give bonuses to CPR checks.
1910.
I don't need to know the melting point of orcs.
1911.
Even if the rules allow it, I can't one shot guys with a feather duster.
1912.
No more surprise parties for the berserker. 1913.
Can't postdate a letter of marque. 1914.
Can't abuse the boggan's weakness to get free babysitting.
1915.
The following are not acceptable specialties for a weapon master: Mustard Gas, Cheese Grater,
Sardonicism. 1916.
Even if the rules allow it, sniper scopes don't give bonuses to shotguns.
1917.
"The ability to do anything, as long as it's not that hard" is not a real superpower.
1918.
No using the time machine to give Nostradamus a sneak peek at the future.
Again.
1919.
There is no needing for a dark brooding vigilante of the night in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
1920.
"Shakedown" is not a art skill specialty.
1921.
In the middle of a Black Ops can't run up the target's cable bill by ordering PPV movies
on his TV.
1922.
Can't air hump the king from behind while he's performing demagoguery.
1923.
Electrokinetics are not allowed anywhere near the President's teleprompter.
1924.
Despite what the rules say, shooting other PC's in the head does not improve morale.
1925.
Can't disguise a nuclear bomb to look like me.
1926.
DM's don't appreciate being dubbed.
1927.
Can't filibuster other characters.
1928.
Nobody is going to buy the disguised wookie as a jawa with a pituitary problems.
1929.
Ayn Rand has no affect on my alignment. 1930.
The wizard's familiar does not have to save vs. leg hump.
1931.
MkVI armor's drawback is not random chicken noises.
1932.
I will stop telling people the elf is openly fey.
1933.
No part of the elven cloak is actually made out of elves.
1934.
Breaking the fourth wall doesn't require a strength check.
1935.
It's not possible to become addicted to healing spells.
1936.
You don't have to be lawful evil to be sentenced to Devil's Island.
1937.
Not my fault if you can defeat the labyrinth by just making right turns.
1938.
When the game designer asks me my opinion about the new edition of his game, open weeping
is not appreciated.
1939.
Even if the rules allow it, can't parry an artillery barrage with my fists.
1940.
Blasting the distress signal from orbit is forbidden, even if it would have avoided the
last six ambushes. 1941.
Qunari aren't automatically angered by the color red.
1942.
Can't distract the villain by sending him a text.
1943.
I will not attempt to gnomeoform Faerun. 1944.
Even if the King is represented by a miniature, I can't put him in checkmate.
1945.
No prisoner gets special treatment, even if he does look like Robert Goulet.
1946.
No improvising, winging or fabricating funeral rites.
1947.
Can't use teleport to convince the villain's henchmen he's seeing things.
1948.
Having an electrotech in the party doesn't mean I get to leave my phone charger at home.
1949.
Can't free the hostage with a surprise game of Red Rover.
1950.
Not allowed to start the campaign having sex, especially with another PC.
1951.
Can't use the international date line to get around once per day restrictions.
1952.
There is no bluff check in the world that gets around divine retribution.
1953.
A lifetime subscription to Cosmo is not an elven racial bonus.
1954.
Swedish accents are great for vikings, ninjas not so much.
1955.
No tagging the sleeping dragon with "Bilbo was here".
1956.
If we end up playing Illuminated martial artist superheros protecting the Mad Lands from the
Chtorr, we will reselect the source books again with our eyes open.
1957.
There is no way to diplomatically ask the Gaius if he's going to finish that sandwich.
1958.
Dwarven breast milk is not 180 proof.
1959.
No using the time machine to make Christ the keynote speaker at an atheist convention.
1960.
I will not use the commune spell to find out who is John Galt.
1961.
No spending more points than the villain to make his assistant more loyal to me.
1962.
There is more combat than a called shot to the face with a double barrel, despite what
the dice say.
1963.
If I can't use the dwarf to beat a guy to death, that includes beating him against the
dwarf.
1964.
No talking Hastur into suing Voldemort for trademark infringement.
1965.
Can't send the party out on an epic quest just to get some alone time with the missus.
1966.
Even if the rules allow it, can't play a viking mad scientist.
1967.
A Shemsu-Heru kamikaze pilot is funny once.
1968.
Even if there is no naming convention given, Tal Vashoth are probably not named Larry.
1969.
I will keep all eldritch artifacts of ungodly power out of the reach of children.
1970.
Even If I need to practice it, if I'm playing Batman, I lose the Russian accent.
1971.
Giving my media the paparazzi template does not actually cause humanity loss.
1972.
No probating Dunkelzahn's will.
1973.
I will quit pestering the techpriest on whether he's AC or DC.
1974.
Despite what the rules say, you don't have to be a 19th level bard to play Alice's Restaurant
Massacre. 1975.
No using the weapon critical hit charts to play bingo.
1976.
The identify spell doesn't work on mystery meat.
1977.
If I managed to roll up a half ogre knight errant on 3d6 straight down, no gloating.
1978.
Naming the half ogre Sir Loin of Beef is gloating. 1979.
The University of Wisconsin does not have branches in Lankhmar, Waterdeep or Blackmoor.
1980.
The druid can't transform into a sports car.
Even if we douse him with hot water.
1981.
No wrecking the Millennium Falcon in the prologue. 1982.
If the GM's pet NPC has tons of plot armor, can't use her for cover.
1983.
Even if it's the coolest spell ever, can't just go around exploding everyone.
1984.
A paladin of the god of obituaries job is not to just kick butt and take names.
1985.
The surprise in the surprise attack comes from its speed, not from the shattered eardrums
of the breaching charge.
1986.
When asked to be the party tank, they didn't mean an Abrams.
1987.
After the battle my Astartes is to spend his time training and in meditation, not choreographing
Gilbert and Sullivan numbers.
1988.
No result on the critical hit chart splits the atom.
1989.
Can't set the Death Star to stun. 1990.
Even if we crashed the opening of the last eight adventures, still have to name our new
starship. 1991.
Medium Well is not a phaser setting.
1992.
Can't fly standing up.
1993.
Squeezing a termagaunt like bagpipes isn't going to turn him into a machine gun.
1994.
There is no instant replay in Hackmaster. 1995.
The proper response after making a very tough bluff check is not a TD dance.
1996.
If any player ends up in lingerie, the game is over.
1997.
Better believe if I berserk for two straight hours I'm going to feel it in the morning.
1998.
The wookie isn't allowed anywhere near conditioner.
1999.
The evil twin flaw doesn't count if he's fraternal. 2000.
Despite what the dice just said, I'm not the personal god of Michael Phelp's agent.
2001.
A Saber tooth tiger is not an acceptable second in a duel.
2002.
No flashbacks to the death of the disposable expository NPC at the start of the adventure.
2003.
Any gun whose damage is best described in scientific notation is vetoed.
2004.
Just because I took the large advantage does not let me rampage through Tokyo at will.
2005.
Can't just program the probe droid to go to light speed through the Star Destroyer.
2006.
Torpedo spheres don't just go off on accident.
2007.
No taunting Darth Maul with the fact Uncle Owen had more lines, more screen time and
a more memorable death.
2008.
No spending money from the Raise Dead fund on ice cream.
2009.
I will make sure when the GM asks what my fetish is if he means voodoo bag or brunettes
with short hair.
2010.
Improved tax evasion is not a real feat.
2011.
There is no easy way to tell a guy he named his genetically engineered uber space Mongolian
after Genghis Khan's wife.
2012.
Apothecaries can't perform emergency skullectomies. 2013.
Can't convince the entire pantheon to all take spiders as their fourth domain.
2014.
In the middle of a black ops I don't have time to set all the target's phone handsets
to maximum volume.
2015.
If World War III is looming, I will not spend all my character advances on just liberal
arts degrees.
2016.
While extremely cool, my superhero needs something more than just a gun that fires badgers at
people.
2017.
Off duty Astartes wear robes, not wife beaters and speedos.
2018.
Spending my Rank 4 instead of Rank 5 priority on human does not make me more human than
human.
2019.
Even if the elf fails his willpower check, we don't need to change him.
2020.
There is only one mounting option for Mr. Stud.
This is not optional.
2021.
Even if used correctly, branding irons do not count as non-lethal weapons.
2022.
I will refrain from any activity that could turn the entire party into smoking piles of
lederhosen. 2023.
Using my runic powers to provide a light show for my skald's musical performances is abusing
Grumfather's gift.
2024.
Despite how practical it would be, I have no need for a dracheneisen tuba.
2025.
There is no such thing as a shotgun exterminatus. 2026.
I will not try to bring back nipples as a superhero fashion statement.
2027.
Boernings fully understand the concept of personal space.
2028.
Even if the rules allow it, a called shot to the eyes with a sledgehammer isn't very
practical.
2029.
In the middle of a black ops, I can't order 1500 pizzas to be delivered to the target
the next day.
2030.
Elves do not get a racial bonus to the skill Trade: Interior Design
2031.
Even if the kids love it, the Cone of Cold spell is not for making toboggan rides possible
in August.
2032.
If I ever trick the DM into telling us the only way to make money mining is to work the
shaft, all my characters die.
Not just in this game either.
2033.
Even if the rules allow it, I can't conduct a television interview and maintain a choke
hold at the same time.
2034.
Can't spend all my starting points to build a Renaissance version of Las Vegas.
2035.
Cylons don't have a four year life span.
2036.
Darth Harmonious is not a real Sith Lord.
2037.
No matter how many times it's already been retconned, I can't change the story of the
origins of the Sith every time we play.
2038.
Even if it's a friendly pick up game, it's a bad idea to dunk on Vader.
2039.
I will remember Captain Reis has the "Immunity: NPCs with no name" advantage.
2040.
Characters with the curious disadvantage are not acceptable substitutions for the Identify
spell.
2041.
There are no additional bonuses to guessing the right card if we're playing Go Fish with
a Deck of Many Things.
2042.
Any attempt to breed Bearowls is doomed to failure.
2043.
If I knock out Ryu while I'm blocking, it's time to retire the character.
2044.
If I'm not allowed to go back in time to kill the villain, I can't just bring him to the
present as a child either.
2045.
No scanning the periodical table for an unused element to base my superhero around.
2046.
The very thought of improving my humanity by osmosis costs humanity.
2047.
Dwarven ale does not double as jet fuel, industrial solvent or colic medicine.
2048.
No secretly setting the Netrunner's modem interface to 8 bit.
2049.
No matter how pissed off the Verbena makes me, I can't put her on Glenn Beck's mailing
list.
2050.
Can't use the bureaucracy skill to indefinitely delay a rival going through customs.
Yeah, made no sense to me either.
2051.
DM's don't appreciate the Socratic method.
2052.
The following are not acceptable favored enemies: Torries, Cartoon Characters, Wichita Falls.
2053.
If the GM is a woman, can't play a space otter to gain cute points.
2054.
If the rules require me to multiply several stats by 10,117 to get another stat, can't
do it long hand in protest.
2055.
I will try to keep the number of pages the GM rips out of his playtest binder to a minimum.
2056.
Can't stealthfully follow the villainous wizard and backstab him every time he tries to cast
a spell, even if every rogue in the world does it to our wizard.
2057.
My druid will stop insisting we place all expended magic items in the appropriate recycling
bin.
2058.
No uploading to the villian's electrotat the video of me shooting him.
2059.
Even if I no longer lose SAN around them, no domesticating nightgaunts.
2060.
When describing my superhero, I will stop at "Molly Ringwald Man"
2061.
Note to self: Pinata golems are a bad idea.
2062.
Even if I have enough rope and have nine attacks a round, can't garrote a hydra.
2063.
Despite Hawkman, Batman, Antman and Spiderman, Red Snapperman is not a legitimate superhero
name.
2064.
The wish spell can't affect the order of the alphabet.
2065.
Even if I buy off the Nemesis disadvantage doesn't mean we can't still be enemies.
2066.
Snipers don't appreciate their spotter yelling out "BOOM HEADSHOT!"
2067.
Can't have a gun that can inflict lethal damage with just the bullet's windshear.
2068.
If my character's name is not an anagram, I will tell the DM before he spends 30 minutes
rearranging letters.
2069.
No explaining battle plans to the tune of a Jerry Reed song.
2070.
The spell is "Heat Metal", not "Detect Piercings".
2071.
Even if the Corporation prefers PC terminology, an interrogation is not 'kinetic information
retrieval'. 2072.
Power Word Sarcasm is not a real spell.
2073.
Even if the rules might allow them, we can't all play Ogryn warcasters.
2074.
I will not give into temptation when presented with a decanter of endless water and an opening
to the underdark. 2075.
Just because I can, doesn't mean I have to land my Veritech like Ironman on the deck
of the carrier every single time.
2076.
If I'm commissioned to build an artillery gun, they don't mean a gun that fires howitzers.
2077.
If I abandon the game for alone time with my fiance, my PC dies.
Ask me if I freaking care.
2078.
Just because the DM prefers D&D to alone time with a smoking hot fiance doesn't mean the
party gets to question his gender preference.
2079.
During the Time of Troubles can't forward my prayers to another god.
2080.
The Bohemian Earspoon is not an appropriate weapon for a paladin.
Or anybody else for that matter.
2081.
'Horn Dog' is not a real Dwarven caste. 2082.
No matter how successful, our party has to be more than a wizard and 5 pikemen.
2083.
'Fifty Shades of Grey Dwarves' is not the new Duergar sourcebook.
2084.
We can't steal all the treasure from the giant magical scales, even if we do undertake an
engineering project that dwarfs the Hoover Dam.
2085.
My Legionaire can't spend resources on a 16 ton weight he can drop on people with his
mind later.
2086.
Qunari don't take smiling damage.
2087.
No matter what experience say, West Virginians do not make the best Mythos Investigators.
2088.
If I have to buy a second warehouse to store all my spare magic weapons, time to retire
the character.
2089.
Even if it is a real way to kill somebody, I can't burke the bad guy.
2090.
The following are not real Cyberpunk festivals: Night City Comiccon, The Killit Festival,
Grenadeapalooza. 2091.
Can't just target the villain's star fighter, even if it's the only one of its type in the
battle.
2092.
Before entering Denerim we don't have to delouse the Dalish.
2093.
Can't trick the dragon into swallowing a shrunken dire porcupine and then ending the spell while
he swallows. 2094.
Liechtenstein has no need for weapons of mass destruction.
2095.
Can't trick the time travelling bad guy into a shoot out with his past self.
2096.
We aren't looking at the various kingdoms' tax rates before deciding where to dungeon
crawl.
2097.
Vecna was not the inventor of the organ donor card.
2098.
Even if I took it with me with the full intention of using it, a manhole cover counts as an
improvised weapon.
2099.
Since they don't participate in the Olympics, I can stop writing R'lyeh's national anthem.
2100.
No matter how big these sewers seem to be, we aren't finding a Shipley's Donuts down
here.