-I feel like when we really started to date,
I didn't really broadcast it too much.
I posted like little subtle things like
when you took me to get crab legs,
because you know I like crab legs.
-Kind of hard to say how we met or when we met,
because I was definitely in a relationship when we met,
even though I might have found you attractive
or found I any type of interest in you,
there was no pursuing it.
-I feel like Snapchat was like the kick off.
At the time, like I didn't know
if you were in a relationship or not.
I remember writing you, I think I was like hey, what's up?
And then when you responded I just went ghost,
I didn't know what to say back, I'm like, alright, what's next?
-From there, that Memorial Day weekend.
-Yeah. That's when.
-That's when, that's when it kicked off,
because I was in Cancun with a few of my friends
and we were out there having a blast.
-And I was packing to go on a trip,
and then our flights got canceled for that trip,
so my friends and I rerouted to Cancun,
which was completely random, like I wasn't following you.
I wasn't following you, it was random.
And then when I got there I'm like asking my friends,
like should I hit him up? Like this is really not me,
like just to shoot my shot. So I was like, you know what,
let me just send a mystery message
and I'll have him figure it out. And then, I sent it to you.
-Yeah, I was like so what's up?
-Yeah, and I was like where are you staying?
And then you sent me a location and then I sent you my location,
and it was 5 minutes away from each other.
So I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm looking, that's lit.
And when you got back to New York,
you called me and I'm like, did he leave a shirt,
did he leave like his passport, why you calling me?
And you just wanted to have a conversation.
-What's wrong with that? -It was just so weird.
I'm like, we're just supposed to be chillin',
like why are you calling me?
The place that I was in mentally and emotionally,
I wasn't ready for a long-term, fully invested,
emotional relationship. -Right.
-And I don't think that was your--
-Yeah, and I made that clear from the beginning.
I was super transparent. -Right.
-Like I was, I made sure that it was known
that I just got out of a 3-year relationship,
I'm trying to chill for a little bit.
-Mm hmm. -But, we didn't do nothing
about it, from there, we just hanging out.
-I've been to a motel like two or three times a week.
-It was more of a sneaky
type of thing, it wasn't really, we weren't really outside.
-Mm hmm.
-It finally got to a point where it was like,
let's go, let's go on a date. So we went, was kind of awkward.
-It was. -Because now we outside.
-Right. Then it got sticky. -Yeah.
-Then feelings got involved a little bit.
I feel like at that time it was like neither one of us
really wanted to say that we were catching feelings
because in the beginning we were so adamant about like,
we are just chillin'. -Just chillin'.
Then we took a step back from each other for a little bit
because it started to get sticky, like you say.
-And then you said, I don't know what's stopping me
from making you my girlfriend. And I'm looking at you
like what do you think you've got access like that.
I haven't talked to you in a whole month,
that you just think I'm going to be like,
yeah, I'll be your girlfriend.
-Yeah, actually yeah, was I right?
-I mean now, but.
-I think that that's what I love most about the fact
that we decided to take the next step,
because we didn't rush it.
-There was no pressure applied to it.
-Yeah, no pressure, no, I mean there was after a while,
but I think that it was necessary.
-My friends kind of knew about you.
They were like, listen we know you have feelings,
so just like accept it and try to really pursue
someone that, you know, seems like he cares.
They really made me feel like
I made the right decision in like pursuing it.
-It become evident that I was spending more and more time
with you and less and less time with anyone else.
-In the beginning, I was very, very hard headed.
I was full of trauma, I had like relationship PTSD.
You name it, I had it.
And I think as I got more comfortable
with the partner that I have,
and just knowing how much you care about me
and how much you want it to be us versus the problem,
rather than us versus each other,
I think it just made it easier for me
to really grow as a person, as a girlfriend,
and like as a woman, for real. For real.
-Three years, that's a long time.
It's not that long when you think about it,
but it just feels like it's been forever.
During that time, we got the opportunity to really,
really learn-- -A lot.
---about what makes each other tick,
what's the best way to handle adversity,
what's the best way to celebrate accomplishments,
what's the best way to give each other what each other desires.
-You made me feel comfortable in who I am
and that I don't need to change who I am just to appease you
or the relationship or you know, anything like that.
-Our growth speaks for itself,
because we're not just boyfriend and girlfriend,
we're like we really consider each other partners.
Like enough for us to make real big time
life decisions together.
And we uprooted-- -Right.
-We're talking about home ownership,
we're talking about marriage, we're talking about family--
-We're talking about marriage?
-We talk about raising a family, we've got a dog now,
so these decisions that we have to make together,
we now always want to see eye to eye,
and I think that we've been able to, for the most part,
find a way to find a common ground on issues
that we don't necessarily always for to see eye to eye on.
-I think getting Ziggy helped us a lot too,
because I feel like for me,
I never really ever really ever liked dogs.
And it wasn't until like we knew that we were moving
and you knew that you kind of, not called all the shots
but that you'd be the man of the house that you were like,
I want a dog, so we're going to get a dog.
And you're going to learn to love the dog.
-No, that's not, that's not how it went.
-That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
-Are you, you were picking dogs out.
-No, no, you wanted a huge dog,
I said let's compromise.
-Alright, you're right.
-Like, is it coming back?
Let's compromise and get a medium sized dog.
Having him definitely has helped me like emotionally, mentally,
like just having someone outside of you be super excited
for me to come home, has helped just like lift my spirits.
So maybe you saw further past what I could see
when we chose to get him.
-Mm hmm. -But I love him. He's my dog.
-He loves you.
How does it feel to love a black man?
-I just feel so safe with you. You make me feel wanted,
you make me feel loved, understood, heard.
When I think of what I would want from my future husband
to be, like you fit every description.
-Damn. -And you're handsome.
-Appreciate that.
-How does it feel to love a black woman?
-You definitely feel like home.
You're definitely somebody that is like a breath of fresh air.
It's like you know when you get to your house,
you open the door after a long day,
you close the door and you take that deep sigh,
because you're finally home.
Like every time I see you, it feels like that.
Especially if we haven't seen each other
for an extended period of time for any reason.
Having you as a black woman in my corner,
on my team, next to me,
taking on the challenges that we see every day,
I think that that just makes me feel invincible.
It's a beautiful thing to just sit back
and watch you work sometimes.
Because, girl, you knew this already though.
I really love your personality, it's what drew me to you
to begin with and I love that it hasn't changed.
-Wait. I did not expect that.
I was like, I'm not going to cry today.