- Be very clear about what you want.
Do your job, use relevant, powerful, updated words
to tell your mind what you want.
And then your mind will do its job and get it.
But if you say, "I want attention,"
you could have a nervous twitch,
you could have explosive gas. You'd get loads of attention,
but that's not what you want.
We have no idea how powerful we are, you know,
in RTT®, the therapy that I created,
people come in and go, "Hey, you know, I weigh 400 pounds.
"I've got a nervous twitch.
"I've got contact dermatitis."
I'll say, "Wow, you know, that's... You created that.
"How powerful are you to make your body 400 pounds?
"And if you could create it, you can uncreate it."
And we see amazing things in RTT®.
You know, I worked with a girl
who had hyper skin sensitivity,
like, she literally couldn't leave the house because
every time she went out, she would burn in normal daylight.
So she could only go out in the dark, and she was a coach.
You can imagine how limiting her life was.
But when I asked her to tell me about her early years,
she said, "Well, I was really bullied at school.
"And I asked my mom a lot, 'Can I stay home?'
"And she said, 'Don't be ridiculous,
"'of course you can't stay home, you've got to go to school.'"
She goes, "But, mom, I don't like it.
"I'm being bullied."
"Well, just suck it up, fight the bullies."
And she said, "I actually longed to stay at home."
And that's a decision. Unconsciously,
as a little girl, she said,
"I wish I could stay at home every day and not go out."
But the mind, the mind is the genie.
Your wish is its command.
When you go, "I wish I could stay home
"and never leave the house,"
and now, she's got this light sensitivity.
"I wish I could stop my mom's boyfriend looking at me
"in that weird sexual way.
"And now, I've made my body really bigger."
"I wish I could not have to deal with all this pressure
"to be a perfect student.
"And now, I've got panic attacks and insomnia,
"and I can't even go to school."
So it's a really good idea to take a look at,
"What decision did you make when you were five?"
You know, one of my clients said,
"My dad would lie on the sofa like this every day, going,
"'Oh my god, my ulcer.
"'This is the price you pay for having your own business,
"'there's no time off, there's no sick pay.
"'It's killing me.'"
And she thought, "Wow, if that thing called 'job'
"is killing you, I don't want a job.
"I'd rather have no money."
And she said, "I don't understand why I can't succeed."
But back she went to a small child, watching the father
taking pills and saying, "This job will be the death of me,
"this commute is killing me,
"these customers are making me want to die."
And we don't understand how what we hear impacts us.
"All marriages are hell.
"Oh, it's killing me to have a baby.
"It's a nightmare dealing with customers."
And, you know, half of what we know
we've learned before we were five.
So the big thing is to understand, "That wasn't your belief.
"That was your father's belief.
"That that was his story, not yours.
"Your mother's thing about, 'All men let you down,'
"that was her story.
"It's not your story."
One of my clients said, "You know, I'm a firewoman,
"a fire...,"
I don't know what you call it, "But I'm not a fireman,
"I'm a firewoman.
"And I will not let my husband put up any shelves
"in the house, I can change a tire."
And she remembered being a little kid in Ireland,
and being in the street with her mother,
and her father's best friend came up and said,
"It's such a shame you haven't given your husband a son.
"You know, you're not a man without children.
"He'll never be a real man, because he's got four daughters."
"And I heard that
"and thought, 'Oh, I should have been a boy."
And in that moment, she began to be the son
her father never had.
She wore short hair.
She always wore shorts and trousers.
And then she went into the fire service and became
the head of it, nothing wrong with that,
except that she couldn't understand this need
she had to be masculine and not feminine,
when, in fact, of course, you could be both.
You can go into the fire service and you can put up a shelf,
but it wasn't a joy for her, is was this drive,
"I've got to be something I'm not."
And then you have to go, "Well, you know,
"maybe my dad did want a boy, and my mom,
"but the universe wanted me to be a woman and it wanted me...
"And it decided I should be a girl,
"so I should celebrate being female."
So it's really taking a look at the messages
you picked up, the lessons, that's what RTT® does
so well and it does it immediately,
within five minutes of seeing an RTT® therapist,
you begin to see, "Oh, I actually made a decision.
"I didn't know that.
"I made a request.
"I had no idea I even did that, but my mind is the genie.
"My wish is its command.
"So why don't I just make another wish?"
"I don't want to be rejected
"so I'll never date someone," becomes,
"I can't be rejected so I can find love."
"I don't want to be hurt
"so I'll avoid all kinds of situations,
"but now I'm not living a full life.
"I didn't go to college, so who am I
"to go out there and be amazing?"
Who are you not?
Lots of people didn't go to college and are amazing.
So look at the decision you made and remind yourself
of the truth, you made that decision
when you'd been on the planet
for five or six or seven years,
and you didn't even know what you were asking for,
but you were very powerful.
Because you created it. And now, you don't need that anymore,
so use your power to make a better decision.
You know, your mind's job is to give you what you want,
and your job, and it's a great job, is to tell it.
It's like saying, "I want to be pregnant."
Well, you could be pregnant eight times,
that doesn't mean you're ever going to have a baby.
"I want love." For how long? An afternoon? A night?
Or the rest of your life with someone amazing?
"I want money."
Well, I can give you 10 pounds.
Is that what you want?
So be clear about what you want.
Do your job, use relevant, powerful, updated words
to tell your mind what you want.
And then your mind will do its job and get it.
But if you say, "I want attention,"
you could have a nervous twitch,
you could have explosive gas,
you'll get loads of attention, but that's not what you want.
"I want attention for being amazing, being profound,
"having a message.
"I want more money because I'm worth it.
"I want this amount and I want to make a difference.
"I want this kind of love, it looks like this."
So tell your mind what you want, clearly.
Don't leave any room for misinterpretation.
It's like, you wouldn't go to the salon and go,
"Hey, could you cut my hair?" Look up and go,
"Oh, no. I didn't want that cut."
You have to go, "This is what I want."
You wouldn't, with a decorator,
"Could you decorate my house while I'm at work?"
And I'd go, "Oh, no. I hate that."
You'd say, "This is exactly what I want."
The more specific you are about what you want,
the more you will get it.
Because your mind's job is to give you what you want,
but your job is to leave no room for misinterpretation
at all.
So be clear with your mind.
- Yeah, it's so powerful.
And I think even just learning
from what you've learned from your parents,
like, I always had this, like, why, you know,
I had such money blocks for so long,
and then I did so much work around the fact that
my mom hated people with money because she never had any,
and she resented everyone with money.
So I learned that, "If I have money, my mom would hate me."
Just, like, heal all of that.
And now, she's, like, super proud of me, but do you know what?
In that, I actually even had a little moment to myself
when you were talking about,
obviously, how we learn a lot of this from our parents,
in my head, I was going to say to you, like,
"God, it makes you petrified to be a parent."
And in that moment, I realized I have that actual, like,
having children is, like, all I want,
it's literally all I want.
And it's one thing in my life
that I'm, like, aware that it hasn't happened.
And then I'm like, "Maybe that's a belief I have.
"Like, I'm petrified to be a parent
"because my mom gave me so much sh*t that I had to work through."
- "Petrified" is such a powerful word.
And when you use powerful words, your mind goes,
"Oh, if you're petrified, I can switch off your fertility."
If you use, "I'm terrified..."
One of my clients, who was a very famous model, said,
"I've got this job for a massive makeup company,
"I'm terrified.
"And I've got go and ski down a mountain, I'm terrified.
"When I go on a plane, people look at me."
And I said, "But that's not terrifying.
"That's your dream come true."
If you use the word "terrifying," you live in terror.
If you use the word "petrified," you live in terror.
If you use the word... You know,
they say... People say in America, "I'm losing my sh*t."
I'm like, "No, you're not.
"If you were, we'd all have left the room.
"You wouldn't be walking around in white jeans.
"Why would you even say that?"
And so, we use these very powerful words.
"This is killing me, I'm dying here.
"My kid is making me go insane."
No, they're challenging you.
So the best advice is,
if you're talking about something negative,
turn down those words. Don't say, "This is killing me,"
say, "It's challenging me."
Don't say, "This is a nightmare," say,
"Well, it's a situation."
Don't say, "I'm terrified of being a parent,"
say, "I'm so excited.
"There's so many great books.
"I'm going to be an amazing mom."
Because there are many people who had an awful childhood
who are amazing parents.
And some people who had an amazing childhood
who are not good parents because
they don't understand what it's like.
And so, turn down the negative words and then
turn up the positive.
Don't say, "I'm all right,"
say, "I'm freaking amazing, I'm awesome.
"I'm on fire.
"I'm incredible.
"I'm a force to be reckoned with.
"I've got something amazing to offer the world."
And just being able to massively pick up the good words
while minimizing negative ones, that in itself
is actually life-changing.
You know, I used to say when I was a parent,
and I was a single parent, "This is stressful."
Then I thought one day, "Why am I even saying that?
"I was told I could never have a baby.
"I wanted this gorgeous little squidgy thing so much,
"she is my nonstop joy."
So I stopped saying, "It's stressing me out," and said,
"Well, it's a challenge.
"But, you know, she's an age-appropriate kid."
And that, actually, was a game-changer for me.
Just taking out that word.
People say, "Marriage is such hard."
Said who?
It's hard work being single, waking up with a fever
when you haven't even got someone to go to the store
and get you some cold medication.
Marriage isn't hard work, it's wonderful.
You've got someone who's got your back
and they've got yours, someone to wake up to
and come home to.
"Your school days are the best days of your life."
How can that be?
That the first bit is the best bit,
and then it's all downhill?
You've got to challenge these silly beliefs
that we tell ourselves.