Hey everybody, we're back!
(audience applauds)
Here with Norm McDonald.
You were talking about going to the cat hospital
or the pet hospital in the last segment.
I understand you actually had to visit yourself.
At the hospital.
I went, what happened was on the show,
on the Saturday Night Live show.
[Conan] That show, yeah I know that show.
I was on that and Dennis Rodman was a guest.
[Conan] Dennis Rodman, right.
And so we thought it'd be funny
if he headbutted me, you know?
So he headbutted me, but he did it really hard, you know?
Do we have, I think actually someone supplied the clip.
You're not kidding around.
Here's the real clip of what happened.
Let's show that, Liz.
You're gonna have to learn that
there is such a thing as rules, Dennis Rodman.
Do you understand that?
Sure, man.
I understand.
Yeah?
Good.
Ahh!
(audience applauds and cheers)
Wait a minute.
It did look like he...
Yeah, that really hurt.
You hear that dull thud of skull on skull.
Yeah, and I don't have a strong head.
(audience laughs)
No?
I haven't been working it out lately.
Really?
He has an athlete's head, you know?
(Conan and audience laugh)
But no, beforehand I said hey, don't hit me
with your head, don't really hit me.
And he goes no no, he had this thing where
he was gonna put his thumbs and as soon
as he touched my thumbs I go back.
And then he got all excited and headbutted me.
So you feel him pull the thumbs back
and the real head was coming at you?
It was crazy.
And so I blacked out for a minute.
And then the next day I had this huge headache,
so I thought I was gonna die, you know?
So I went to the hospital, I went to Saint,
well I don't wanna say the hospital,
but I went to this hospital, to emergency.
And they're the craziest guys in emergency.
Everybody's on crack, you know?
(audience laughs)
Every emergency's a guy on crack.
[Conan] Yeah.
So I went in and they go hey,
how much crack did you have, you know?
And I go I'm not on crack.
They go what happened, I go Dennis Rodman headbutted me.
(Conan and audience laugh)
On the TV, he headbutted me on the TV.
They go yeah yeah.
(Conan laughs)
How much crack, huh?
So what happened?
Anything wrong?
I don't know, man.
They said you can't tell.
They said the only way you can tell is later on
if you go to sleep and you don't wake up.
(Conan and audience laugh)
That's why you didn't mention the name of the hospital.
Yeah, I don't wanna mention it.
I didn't know this too, if you
go to emergency you gotta pay.
(audience laughs)
They keep sending me bills, all kinds of bills.
You thought it was free?
That you could just go there and...
Yeah, I'm from Canada, it's all free there.
Oh okay.
(audience member whistles)
Now I guess I've known you for,
I don't know, for a little while now,
and you've come on the show a bunch of times
and we've gotten, I was kinda surprised
'cause someone told me that Norm McDonald,
you, has gotten kinda superstitious.
And I thought that's odd 'cause I don't
think of you as that kind of person.
I never was.
I was always a doubting...
Thomas.
I couldn't think of the name.
(Conan and audience laughs)
I was gonna say Fred for some reason.
I was always a doubting Thomas.
I was always nah, that stuff, that's not true,
that's a load of stuff, you know?
But then I had this thing, you wouldn't believe it.
It opened my eyes, it made a believer out of me.
What happened was I had a dream
and it was the number seven in my dream.
A giant number seven.
[Conan] Wow.
It was the most vivid dream I ever had.
So I wake up from the dream, right?
[Conan] I'm with you.
So I wake up from the dream, from this number seven.
I look over at my clock, 7 o'clock, right?
[Conan] Wow!
So I get up, it's not that coincidental.
No, I'm just going along with you, yeah.
So then I go out and I decide
hey, why don't I take a cab, you know?
So I get in the cab.
And it's cab number seven, I notice, when I'm in the cab.
Now I'm starting to get a little freaked out, you know?
So I say hey, take me to the track.
I enjoy playing the ponies, you know what I mean?
[Conan] Sure, I hear what you're saying.
Yeah.
I like going down there, Conan.
I like visiting my money.
(Conan and audience laughs)
[Conan] You crack me up.
My uncle used to say that.
So I go to the track and I say okay,
what do I owe you there, fella?
He says $7.77.
[Conan] Oh.
I said good lord, I thought it was 40 cents, anyways.
So I go here you go, I pay him, I give him eight bucks.
[Conan] Right.
(Conan and audience laugh)
I walk through gate seven, you know?
Went up to ticket window number seven
there at the horse place, you know?
And I look up, they have the form there, you know?
The racing form, shows you all the races.
So I look and I see in the seventh race
there's a horse called Lucky Seven.
And he pays 77 to one, you know?
So I say the hell with this, I say
I'm gonna pull out all my money.
I pull out all my money, I had 700 bucks.
[Conan] Wow.
Pull it out.
I said put this all on Lucky Seven in the seventh, you know?
I go watch the race.
Damned if he didn't come in seventh.
That's incredible!
(audience applauds and cheers)
What an amazing story.
That's an incredible story, Norm.
I'm sorry about cursing, I forgot.
That's all right.
We're on cable by now I think.
Listen, let me tell everybody where you are.
Saturday Night Live this weekend's a good one.
It's a rerun, but let's get real excited about it.
John Goodman and Everclear are gonna be on that show.
Yeah, they're great.
People should check that out.
(audience applauds and cheers)
And Rita Rudner, The Sonny Burgess
& Rosie Flores Combo coming up.
Norm McDonald, thank you very much for doing this.
Thanks, man.
We'll be right back, stick around.