What's up Z-Pac?
Hey, I just want to talk the real with y'all.
Because here I am and they got a camera,
and they're like, "Say what's on your mind."
Here's what's on my mind.
I have been struggling with this shit, you guys.
I have to be honest.
If we're actually gonna do anything worth doing,
and that's a thing, there's all kinds of people
that say really nice things about the stuff we're doing.
"And oh, your talk was great and you really
"inspired me to do this, and this, and this, and this."
And there's a real deep part of me that resonates with that
but there's a part of me that's just like
stop lying to me and I feel like an imposter
and I feel like nothing is changing
no matter how hard we scream and whatever we do.
And the question is like, what are we even trying to do
with all this shit?
Like I could put videos on YouTube,
I could put videos on Facebook,
I can do social media, I can spin my wheels posting stuff,
but what's the fucking point?
The point is we want this to get better
for everybody and I put myself in this, right?
Like I have suffered through this fucked up system
to the point where you know, just severe suffering,
and the other day I did this weird path, right?
I left the Bay Area in 2012 and I went to Las Vegas
to do something crazy.
It was the scariest thing I ever did.
We started this clinic Turntable Health,
we grew the Z-Pac to like two million people
across platforms and then we had to close,
and then we did our show, and me and Tom and Logan
did all this shit.
By any stretch of the imagination it was very successful
and yet I felt like there's something else we need to do.
So I said let me come back to the Bay Area.
My wife wants to go back to Stanford, do her radiology
it will be her chance to reconnect with her career.
My kids will be in schools here.
And I'll be able to connect with really smart,
really amazing people, get them on the show and all that.
And I get back here and I'm like this shit is just as empty
(laughs)
as in Las Vegas.
It's just as bad.
And the other day I actually did this weird thing
where I went home to Stanford
and did the King bioethics lecture.
And it was this packed room and I got a standing ovation.
I got to connect with all my old colleagues were there,
my old professors were there, Steve Coutre,
and all these wonderful mentors that were my mentors
when I were there were there
and I had this incredible experience
and then I had dinner with like the dean
of the Stanford Medical School and all these people.
And the next morning I woke up and I felt even more empty.
And what is going on?
Why?
Is it because we're not really connecting?
We're still not, we can do all these things,
and is it all just a veneer
when we really knew, we need to do
is we need to have a deeper connection
with everybody in this tribe
that's actually gonna do something,
like actually gonna get up and stand up
to these fucksticks that are ruining medicine?
I have to sit in sometimes in these meetings
with the business leaders of big organizations
and I want to fucking stab my eyes out.
I just really want to jump out of a window
because they're not necessarily bad people,
but they are drinking the Kool-Aid of a bad idea
which is medicine is a business
with cogs that need to be optimized
with providers that need to be controlled and managed
and with outcomes that need to be quantified and measured
in electronic cash register and that's the model.
And I'm sitting there going,
okay, so I'll speak for your organization,
tell me what you want to tell--
We want to make sure that the providers
aren't experiencing too much burnout.
Fuck that shit, dude.
How about this?
Fix a system that is causing them the moral distress
and the moral injury that's burning them out.
It's great that you're having me come speak.
That's a nice sign and all that.
That's a nice gesture.
But it feels ultimately empty.
I think that's what I'm feeling is like I don't want
to be a pawn in this shit, right?
That, oh look, we're doing something
so ZDoggMD is involved.
He's a maverick that's gonna say shit
and make the providers think that we care.
Fuck that shit.
Real change needs to happen, right?
Like motherfuckers that we have on the show
like Marty Makary who's like out there talking
about price gouging and actually fighting
these hospitals that are suing their own patients
and bringing light on this stuff.
Like those are the people we want to connect with.
That's the movement we want to be a part of.
That's the noise we want to make.
Not this other bullshit, man.
Like here I am in this fucking nice house.
We remodeled it.
We saved money by keeping it.
I get up everyday and I'm like, I'm not
there's something I'm not doing.
I feel like shit.
I feel terrible, right?
So, on that note.
I don't even know where this is going.
This is stream of consciousness.
This is how I feel right now
and the truth is when I talk to my wife,
are you happy being back?
She's like, "I've never been happier.
"I'm connecting with my colleagues and my purpose."
That's what I need to reconnect
with through you guys, right?
So tell me in the comments, man, how can we do this shit?
'Cause I'm in this space now where it's like
do we need to go to the next level
and that involves burning it all down and rebuilding it.
Then maybe that's what we need to do.
But I'm not playing this bullshit game anymore.
All right, I don't know what else to say
other than, what else should I say?
Yeet.
Yeet!
Fuck everything, burn it down.
Together.
'Cause it's about connection.
All right guys, we out.
- [Logan] Cut!
Synergy.
- [ZDogg] Synergy!