>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
MY NEXT GUEST WROTE AND DIRECTED "THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN" AND
"KNOCKED UP."
HE'S NOW EXECUTIVE PRODUCING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING ON TV,
INCLUDING NETFLIX'S "LOVE."
>> HOW OFTEN DO YOU THINK THAT HAPPENS -- LIKE, REALLY HAPPENS?
>> WOMEN MARRYING OLD HELP FOR MONEY?
>> YEAH.
EVERY 15 SECONDS.
NO!
MMM, YOU THINK JERRY HALL MARRIED RUPERT MURDOCH BECAUSE
SHE LOVES HIM?
>> YEAH, I BELIEVE SHE LOVES HIM.
>> HE'S LIVING ON BORROWED TIME AND SHE KNOWS HIM.
>> HE'S PROBABLY A COOL GUY, SMART, CHARMING, WITTY.
>> YOU'RE MAKING A PRO RUPERT MURDOCH ARGUMENT NOW.
>> IF RUPERT MURDOCH DIDN'T EXIST, THERE WOULDN'T BE "THE
SIMPSONS."
>> I'M WILLING TO LIVE WITH THAT.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME JUDD APATOW!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
HELLO, JUDD APATOW.
>> GOOD TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: HOW ARE YOU?
I DON'T KNOW, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SUIT?
>> Stephen: VERY NICE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) DO YOU NORMALLY NOT SUIT IT UP?
>> I CAN'T TELL WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT ME.
WHO AM I?
>> Stephen: WELL, THE SPREAD COLLAR AND THE HALF WINDSOR
USUALLY SAYS ENGLISH TO ME.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: THE SPREAD COLLAR SAYS ENGLISH.
>> I SAID, COULD YOU GIVE ME A JEW KNOT.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
I'M NOT ENGLISH!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: DID SOMEONE TIE IT
FOR YOU.
>> I GUESS THEY DID.
IT'S A WHOLE NEW KNOT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A VALET BACK STAGE?
>> IT'S ONE OF YOUR PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: WHY WOULDN'T YOU HAVE A TEAM?
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
THIS IS LOVELY MATERIAL.
>> I'M ALL ABOUT THE FANGS.
YOU KNOW ME.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHO LOOKS LOVELY IN A SUIT IS ANDERSON
COOPER.
DID YOU SEE HIM BACKSTAGE?
>> I DID.
HE INTERVIEWED ME FOR "60 MINUTES."
IT HURT ME.
>> Stephen: WHY DID IT HURT YOU?
THAT'S AN HONOR.
>> IT WAS.
BUT I FELT LIKE IT WAS MY MOMENT.
I THOUGHT, I'LL INTERVIEW YOU IN YOUR DINER, AND THE PEOPLE WOULD
BE HONORED TO MEET, ANDERSON COOPER!
LTE GO TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL!
>> Stephen: HE'S VERY SHINY.
THE SILVER SURFER.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU HAVE A LONG-STANDING LOVE OF
LATE NIGHT.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU HAVE BEEN HERE IN A
MONTH I HAD YOUR LOVELY WIFE ON.
AND PETE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND YOU'RE HERE BOTH TIMES AND NOW YOU'RE HERE.
DO YOU JUST LOVE BEING AT THE SHOWS?
>> I LOVE LURKING AROUND HERE.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A NICE PLACE TO LURK.
NOT EVERY SHOWHOUSE A REAL BACKSTAGE.
THEY HAVE A ALWAY BUT THIS IS A THEATER, WE ACTUALLY HAVE A
BACKSTAGE.
>> IT'S FRIENDLY HERE.
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S NICE.
I WAS A COMEDY NERD.
YOU HAVE THE DREAM OF HANGING OUT BACKSTAGE WHEN YOU WERE A
KID.
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
O I ACTUALLY DO IT.
I'VE MADE IT ENOUGH TO HANG OUT BACKSTAGE AT "THE LATE SHOW" AND
EAT YOUR MUFFINS BY MELISSA OR WHATEVER.
YOU HAVE SO MUCH UNHEALTHY FOOD THERE.
>> Stephen: I THINK IT'S CAROL.
>> IF I SAID IT RIGHT, I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN FREE CRAP.
DAMN IT!
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU -- I WAS WATCHING THE OSCARS A COUPLE OF
WEEKS AGO AND THE CAMERA WAS CONSTANTLY SHOOTING TO YOU AND
YOUR LOVELY WIFE.
>> AND THEY'RE RIGHT UP ON YOUR FACE.
WHEN YOU SEE PEOPLE IN THE OSCARS REACTING THEY KNOW
THEY'RE ON CAMERA BECAUSE THERE IS SOMEONE RIGHT THERE SO THE
WHOLE SHOW YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE -- YOU HAVE TO LOOK LIKE
YOU CARE ABOUT EVERYBODY.
>> Stephen: YOU DO, THOUGH.
I DON'T.
I HADN'T SEEN EVERY MOVIES AND I WAS SURROUNDED BY EVERYBODY WHO
WAS UP FOR EVERYTHING AND I WAS, LIKE, YOU DID GREAT WORK THIS
YEAR.
>> Stephen: DID YOU GET ANY OF THE CANDY?
>> I DID NOT, WHICH I WAS FURIOUS ABOUT.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE THERE.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO BE IN THE ROOM FOR
MOONLIGHT-GATE?
WHAT WAS THE VIBE?
>> I COULD TELL YOU THE VIBE AT THE PARKING VALET BECAUSE I
LEFT.
>> Stephen: BEFORE BEST MOVIE?
I'M ALL ABOUT MISSING THE TRAFFIC IN EVERY SITUATION.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW?
>> Stephen: THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.
>> IF POP STAR IS NOT UP FOR BEST PICTURE I'M LEAVING FOR THE
PARKING VALET.
I'M LEAVING EARLY FOR THE SUPER BOWL.
I'LL LEAVE "HAMILTON" EARLY.
I DON'T CARE.
>> Stephen: HE DICE.
I DON'T WANT TO RUIN ANYTHING FOR YOU.
>> SPOILER!
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TWO LOVELY DAUGHTERS.
>> I DO.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU ONE OF THE COOL DADS WHO BRING YOU TO THE
FANCY THINGS?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: I DO.
MY TEN-YEAR-OLD WENT TO THE EMMYS.
HE SAID TO ME ON THE RED CARPET, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT WAS FUN!
>> HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUN!
>> Stephen: HE THOUGHT IT WAS TOTALLY FUN.
TEN IS THE TOP THAT YOU CAN BE AND STILL THINK IT'S FUN.
>> MY KIDS DON'T LIKE ANYTHING.
THEY'RE NOT INTERESTED.
>> Stephen: WITH YOU OR ANYTHING?
>> THIS IS HOW SPOILED MY KIDS ARE.
THEY MET TAYLOR SWIFT THREE TIMES.
I'LL TAKE THEM TO TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERTS, TRY TO PULL FAVOR, AND
I HOLD IT OVER THEIR HEADS.
IF THEY GIVE ME A HARD TIME, I TELL THEM, YOU BE QUIET!
YOU MET TAYLOR SWIFT THREE TIMES!
IF YOU GIVE ME ANY TROUBLE, YOU CANNOT MEET TAMMY AND I WILL
DOWNGRADE THAT TO A MEGAN TRAYNOR RIGHT NOW!
>> Stephen: THEY ARE LOVELY, TALENTED WOMEN, WELD ON THE SHOW
AT ANYTIME.
>> IT'S MORE ABOUT THE FUNNY SOUNDING NAME.
>> Stephen: THE COOL DAD.
I TOOK MY DAUGHTER TO THE GRAMMYS WHEN SHE WAS 14.
I WAS COOL FOR 24 HOURS.
>> MY DAUGHTER WHO IS 14, I DRIVE HER TOO SCHOOL, SHE LOOKS
OUT THE WINDOW, WON'T TALK, PUTS THE MUSIC ON.
I TRY TO TALK TO HER.
I'M, LIKE, HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON IN SCHOOL TODAY?
SHE'S, LIKE, DAD!
YOU KNOW IT'S MY PET PEEVE TO TALK WHEN THE MUSIC'S ON.
>> Stephen: ARE THE OTHERS NICE TO YOU.
>> THEY HAVE A SPECIAL CONNECTION BEING A FEMALE.
I LIVE WITH THREE WERNLINGS WHICH IS THREE AGES OF THE SAME
WOMAN, RIGHT?
SO THEY TALK ABOUT, YOU KNOW, CURLING THEIR HAIR AND THEY HAVE
ALL THESE THINGS IN COMMON, THOUSAND DEAL WITH THEIR
EYEBROWS AND STUFF.
I ALWAYS TRY TO GET IN IT BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I'M A MAN AND I'M,
LIKE, IS IT OKAY TO POP A ZIT ON A TESTICLE?
( LAUGHTER ) I'M TRYING TO CONNECT!
>> Stephen: AND YOU SAY THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO TALK TO THEM!
( LAUGHTER ) WELL, WHILE WE'VE GOT YOU HERE,
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU DO?
YOU DO EVERY PROJECT IN THE WORLD.
ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO PLUG WHILE YOU'RE HERE?
>> I DON'T THINK I HAVE ANY PLUGS.
>> Stephen: YOU GOT GIRLS, YOU GOT CRASHING, LOVE, MOVIE?
>> "THE BIG SICK."
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A SHOW.
TANDUP IN THE RYMAN AUDITORIUM.
>> Stephen: HOW COME I KNOW YOUR CAREER BETTER THAN YOU.
>> I'M AT LARGO 21.
>> Stephen: OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.
JUDD APATOW, EVERYBODY!
BACK WITH JIDENNA!