(audience cheering and applauding)
Thank you.
All is well, how are you? Very good, it's very good.
Such a thrill to have you here on the program.
And also, I didn't get a chance to formally thank you.
You helped me out, you did a bit on the Emmys with me
where I locked you in an airtight container
for the duration of the show.
I think we have a still from that, yeah.
(Audience and Conan laughing)
You look legitimately afraid there,
but it's one of my favorite things that I ever got to do
and it was because I got to do it with you, so...
Well, it was, you sent me the idea
and I thought it was a great idea.
And it was fun, plus it's television.
You know, the Academy, which I'm proud of being part of.
Yeah, yeah, it was a really fun night.
I get it on the street a lot.
Usually when I go into a town people say,
"Your sure look like him." Right, right, right.
But now I get, I voted for you, you know?
(Conan and audience laughing)
I wanted you to live. I wanted you to live.
So reality show culture now, so much to talk about.
First of all, you know, I was so familiar
with the television shows that you did over the years.
Loved the shows and before that with your comedy albums.
I didn't know much about what you were doing
because you were a stand-up comedian.
What kind of jobs did you have?
Well, I was an accountant.
I had a degree in accounting,
and I worked as an accountant and just hated it.
[Conan] You hated being an accountant?
Yeah, I found it very boring.
It wasn't as thrilling and sexy
as you thought it was going to be.
No. (audience laughing)
And so I left accounting.
I said, I've got to find out,
I've gotta take two years out of my life.
I was single no responsibility and so I said,
I've gotta take two years out of my life
and find out if I can make it in comedy
otherwise I'll spend the rest of my life saying,
I wonder what would have happened, you know?
And at least I can say, well, I tried it and it didn't work.
So I left accounting and I would take part time jobs
and try to break into, comedy writer, you know,
a funny disc jockey, whatever.
I never thought I was going to be a stand-up.
I mean, that was the furthest thing from my mind.
And I once worked, one of the jobs I had,
I'd take these temporary jobs.
And I once worked for
the Illinois State Unemployment Compensation Board.
I worked behind the counter at the unemployment office.
And we got, at that time, this was in the '50s.
We got $65 a week. That was your salary?
$65 a week. And the claimants was 55.
(Conan and audience laughing)
People coming in, yeah.
And they only had to come in one day a week.
[Conan] Right, right, (laughs)
(audience laughing)
It took me a few days to figure, hey, for 10 bucks,
you know, I can have four days off, you know?
Right. (laughs)
So I got fired and I wound up--
Yeah, and then you came back in.
And I wound up, hi guys, see you next week, you know?
Now, you've been married, you mentioned
this was when you were in single days.
You've been married 43 years. 43, yeah.
Yeah, incredible. That's good.
(audience applauding)
What's the secret?
What do you think's the secret
of having a relationship that lasts that long?
Well, I have a wife who, she keeps me grounded.
She doesn't let me get too full of myself, you know.
And I'm sure your wife is the same way.
Oh God, yeah, yeah, yeah. (audience laughing)
Yeah, she is, yeah.
She talked to me, in the book about we took
a recreational vehicle trip from hell with the kids
because you want it.
So in LA we have a, on Wednesdays they pick up the trash.
And we have to separate it
into recyclable and non-recyclable.
And so like on a Tuesday late in the afternoon
Ginny will say to me, you know,
"You gotta take out the recyclable, you know,
'cause they're picking it up tomorrow morning."
And I'll say to her, "Do you think Paul Newman,
do you think Joanne Woodward asks Paul Newman
to take out the recyclables?" Right.
And she says, "Well, if you were Paul Newman,
I wouldn't ask you to to take out."
(audience and Conan laughing)
(audience applauding)
Keeps you grounded, that's very good, yeah.
I grew up watching you.
You were one of my favorite guests on "The Tonight Show."
You'd go on "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson."
And always a thrill to see you on that show.
What was it like being on that program as a guest?
'Cause I know that you and Johnny were close, so was it--
Yeah, we were friends.
And John, when the monologue didn't go well
John kind of, he kind of was going down with the ship
and he was taking everybody on the show with him, you know?
[Conan] Right, right.
The guests, whoever, if the monologue didn't go well.
So I would, we made a trip with the Rickles
and I'd be pre-interviewed, you know, and say,
Bob has a funny story about, he just got back
from a trip with the Rickles and he has a funny story.
So I'd come out and it's right there on the sheet
for the question, first question for Johnny to ask.
And Johnny would get that look in his eyes and he'd say,
"You ever been to India?" (Conan and audience laughing)
I can't imagine a meaner thing to do to a comedian.
You've got nothing prepared, yeah.
I knew, I'd never been to India.
Yeah, yeah. (audience laughing)
And didn't have a joke about being in India.
Right, right, right.
But what he would do, and Johnny,
he would do it for all the guests is,
he would never let you look bad.
Right. You know he would make sure.
I was a stand-up comic, he was a stand-up comic
so he kind of trusted that I would somehow handle it.
But he would never let you look bad.
You had such a comfortable relationship
you pulled a prank on him once.
I've heard about this, on the air
while Johnny was interviewing a guest.
Yeah, John used to do,
it used to be an hour and a half show.
And usually the last half hour was an author of some kind.
And at the end of the couch there was this clock.
And Johnny would look at it
to see how much time left in the show.
[Conan] How much more does he have to do
before he can wrap it up, yeah.
So I did my slug with him and so I moved here
and then we had another guest and then I moved down
and I'm seated next to Ed, and Ed's
right next to the clock, you know?
So he brings out this author
and he was a particularly boring author.
[Conan] Yeah, yeah.
So every time John looked away I told Ed,
I said, "Move it back five minutes."
(Conan and audience laughing)
So Ed would move it back five minutes and John,
he would talk to the author and he'd look over at the clock
and he'd go... (Conan and audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
I can only imagine.
I can imagine what that would feel like.
We have a lot more to talk about.
We're gonna take a break.
More with Bob Newhart when we return.
We'll see you in a second. (audience applauding)