>> Stephen: AS I WAS TALKING ABOUT EARLIER, WE KEEP LEARNING
NEW DETAILS ABOUT THE UKRAINE STORY.
AND THE MORE WE LEARN, THE WORSE THINGS LOOK FOR TRUMP'S PERSONAL
LAWYER AND TAXIDERMY OWL THAT THE DOG GOT AFTER, RUDY
GIULIANI.
EVER SINCE THE ORIGINAL WHISTLEBLOWER REPORT, RUDY HAS
BEEN ON TV DOING DAMAGE CONTROL, MINUS THE CONTROL.
>> WE'VE GOT AN ANONYMOUS WHISTLEBLOWER WHO SAYS THAT
DONALD TRUMP DID SOMETHING WRONG.
DONALD TRUMP, LIKE HUNTER BIDEN SAYS, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
WRONG.
>> FORGET THE WHISTLEBLOWER.
WE HAVE THE TRANSCRIPT OF THE CALL--
>> SHHHHHHHH.
>> --AND THE PRESIDENT'S REMARKS ON THE LAWN.
>> WAIT.
WAIT.
BEFORE YOU INTERRUPT ME, HOWARD--
>> Stephen: CLASSIC LEGAL DEFENSE.
( AS JUDGE )
OF MULTIPLE COUNTS OF ARSON.
HOW DOES HE PLEAD?"
"YOUR HONOR, THE DEFENDANT PLEADS SHHHHHHHHHHH."
BUT RUDY HAS GOOD REASON TO SHUT PEOPLE UP, BECAUSE LAST WEEK,
OUR OLD BUDDY, AMBASSADOR GORDON SONDLAND HERE, TESTIFIED THAT
TRUMP PERSONALLY DIRECTED GIULIANI TO PRESSURE UKRAINE.
AND THERE'S MORE FROM ENERGY SECRETARY RICK PERRY, SEEN HERE
POINTING TO THE EMPTY PLACE
PERRY CLAIMS-- PERRY CLAIMS THAT GIULIANI WAS GOING AROUND
PUSHING WEIRD CONSPIRACY THEORIES.
FOR INSTANCE, RUDY BLAMED UKRAINE FOR THE DOSSIER ABOUT
TRUMP'S ALLEGED TIES TO RUSSIA, AND ASSERTED THAT UKRAINE HAD
HILLARY CLINTON'S EMAIL SERVER AND "DREAMED UP" EVIDENCE THAT
HELPED SEND FORMER TRUMP CAMPAIGN CHAIRMAN, PAUL
MANAFORT, TO JAIL.
OF COURSE, ALL OF RUDY'S CONSPIRACY THEORIES HAVE BEEN
DEBUNKED.
AND I HAVE A FEELING THAT GIULIANI MAY SOON BE MANAFORT'S
"DEBUNK" MATE, BECAUSE HE HIMSELF--
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
SUBJECT OF A FEDERAL COUNTER-INTELLIGENCE
INVESTIGATION, AFTER TWO OF HIS UKRAINE-LINKED BUSINESS
ASSOCIATES WERE ARRESTED ON CAMPAIGN FINANCE CHARGES.
NOW, THAT SOUNDS BAD, BUT WE SHOULD NOT JUMP TO ANY
CONCLUSIONS ABOUT THEIR GUILT.
THESE TWO MEN-- GAH!
DON'T HURT ME!
TAKE MY WALLET!
TAKE IT!
TAKE MY MONEY!
TAKE IT!
( LAUGHTER )
CONNECTING THESE GUYS TO GIULIANI, UNLESS YOU COUNT THE
PHOTOS OF THEM SMOKING CIGARS TOGETHER, THIS VIDEO OF THEM
DRINKING TOGETHER IN THE TRUMP HOTEL, AND THE FACT THAT
GIULIANI WAS PAID $500,000 BY THEIR COMPANY, WHICH IS CALLED--
AND THIS IS REAL-- FRAUD GUARANTEE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
YES!
♪ ♪ ♪ FRAUD GUARANTEE.
HE EVEN DID A LITTLE WORK FOR THEIR RETAIL OUTFIT, CRIME-MART.
SO, DID RUDOLPH GIULIANI AND HIS FRAUD BUDDIES LEAD THE PRESIDENT
INTO IMPEACHMENT BY PUSHING DEBUNKED CONSPIRACY THEORIES?
HERE TO TELL US IS THE MAN HIMSELF, TRUMP'S PERSONAL
ATTORNEY, RUDY GIULIANI.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
FOR JOINING US.
>> SHHHHHHHHH!
STEPHEN, SHHHH!
>> Stephen: I-- I HAVEN'T ASKED YOU ANYTHING YET.
>> I KNOW, AND YOUR FACTS ARE ALL WRONG.
SO SHHH!
SO SHHHHUSH IT!
ZIP IT!
AND ASK ME A QUESTION.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
MR. MAYOR, HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO CRITICS WHO SAY THAT YOU WERE
TRAVELING THE WORLD PUSHING DEBUNKED CONSPIRACIES AS PART OF
A SCHEME TO HELP THE PRESIDENT'S RE-ELECTION?
>> THAT'S RIDICULOUS, STEPHEN.
I WAS SIMPLY BRINGING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THE TRUTH ABOUT
THE BIDENS!
AND THAT'S NOT ALL.
( LAUGHTER )
THAT THE 2016 ELECTION WAS NOT HACKED BY THE RUSSIANS.
IT WAS HACKED BY HUNTER BIDEN, WHO IS ACTUALLY A "MEN IN BLACK"
STYLE ALIEN, BEING OPERATED BY A TINY HILLARY CLINTON IN HIS
NECK.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: OKAY.
WOW.
THAT'S A BOLD ASSERTION.
THAT IS-- THAT IS.
SIR, THAT'S A BOLD ASSERTION.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PROOF OF THAT?
>> NOT YET.
OR EVER.
( LAUGHTER )
TRAP!
>> Stephen: WELL...
WHAT EXACTLY WERE YOU DOING WITH AMBASSADOR SONDLAND AND RICK
PERRY?
>> WHEN YOU'RE SOLVING BIG, SPOOKY MYSTERIES, YOU NEED A
IT WAS GORDON SONDLAND, RICK PERRY, VELMA, AND ME,
RUDY-RUDY-ROOOOOOO!
( LAUGHTER )
IT'S TIME FOR A RUDY SNACK.
( LAUGHTER )
MAYOR, ARE YOU DRINKING?
>> SHHHH.
SHHHH.
I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF DRINK.
>> Stephen: WELL, MR. GIULIANI, YOUR
INVESTIGATIONS HAVE CAUSED A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR THE WHITE HOUSE.
FORMER NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER JOHN BOLTON REPORTEDLY CALLED
YOU A HAND GRENADE WHO WOULD BLOW EVERYONE UP.
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?
>> STEPHEN, THAT'S CRAZY.
GRENADES ARE USED BY HIGHLY TRAINED SOLDIERS.
I'M MORE LIKE A CAN OF HAIRSPRAY SOMEONE TURNS INTO A
FLAMETHROWER DURING A PRISON RIOT.
( LAUGHTER )
TEETH.
>> Stephen: I GOT IT.
WELL, YOUR FRAUD GUARANTEE ASSOCIATES WERE ARRESTED WITH
ONE-WAY TICKETS TO VIENNA JUST HOURS AFTER YOU MET WITH THEM.
AND YOU WERE ALSO SCHEDULED TO FLY TO VIENNA.
WHAT WERE YOU PLANNING TO DO THERE?
>> STEPHEN, SHHH.
I WAS GOING TO VIENNA BECAUSE I LOVE CLASSICAL MUSIC.
AND I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT HUNTER BIDEN HAS STOLEN
MOZART'S BONES!
( LAUGHTER )
EVERYONE WAS IN ON IT: THE DEEP STATE, PODESTA, GEORGE SOROS.
ALSO...
UMMM-- HOLD ON, LET ME CONSULT MY RESEARCH DEPARTMENT.
( LAUGHTER )
THE CHUPACABRA.
I KNOW HIM.
WE HAVE THE SAME DENTIST.
( LAUGHTER )
MR. MAYOR-- LOVELY ORTHODONTIA.
MR. MAYOR, THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR IS EXACTLY WHY YOU, YOURSELF,
ARE UNDER A COUNTERINTELLIGENCE INVESTIGATION.
>> IT WON'T WORK, STEPHEN, BECAUSE I AM COUNTER-COUNTER
INVESTIGATING THEM!
I'VE TEAMED WITH A NEW BULGARIAN COMPANY, "CERTIFIED RIP-OFF.
( LAUGHTER )
SPACE EXPEDITION TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF HUNTER BIDEN'S
BUSINESS DEAL WITH THE NAZIS IN THE CENTER OF THE MOON!
THE MAYOR OF OUTER SPACE!
( LAUGHTER )
THEY'VE GOT MY WINE!
>> Stephen: MAYOR RUDY GIULIANI, EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )