Howdy. Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. I was just about to record Episode
#69 of my podcast, Fight for a Happy Life, and I thought heck, why not
turn on the camera and make a video at the same time? so if you're on the run
and you only want to hear the audio, well, I'll put a link to the podcast below, but
if for whatever reason you'd like to see my smiling face, keep watching. And
what are we talking about today? Today I'm gonna share a few tips on
how to manage stress, how to deal with pain, how to control fear, and how to
fight for your freedom. You know little stuff like that. I grew up in Buffalo New
York and Buffalo is famous for a few things-- chicken wings,
of course, losing four Super Bowls in a row, and being cold. A lot of snow in
Buffalo. And growing up, not a big deal you get used to that kind of thing
but I do remember that in high school I suffered a little bit more than usual
when I went to high school I had to take a bus in a subway and then the subway
would let you off maybe I don't know not that far a quarter of a mile to my high
school and you had to walk uphill I'm not going to tell you that you had to
walk uphill both ways but it sure felt like it anyway in the winter you get off
the subway and you'd start walking up this hill and the wind would just hit
you right in the face and it was freezing cold and I remember one day I
was walking and my body was just shivering and I was curled up like this
my shoulders are up in my ears and I just remember thinking how stupid I
looked and how stupid I felt my body was just shaking out of control and it
wasn't comfortable natural maybe it's trying to warm me up but definitely not
a comfort a comfortable position and it was annoying and it occurred to me that
I might have control over my body's reaction to the cold and I just decided
to relax I just decided to let go attention to see what would happen and I
was shocked it actually went away I suddenly didn't feel cold I was cold my
body was cold but I wasn't focused on it anymore I didn't feel cold frozen bodily
but not frozen mentally that was an important lesson and a lesson
I completely forgot about once I moved out to Los Angeles and escaped all the
snow that is until recently when I started taking cold showers now you've
probably heard about this cold shower thing it's been kind of a trend for a
couple years now supposedly there's a bunch of health benefits to immersing
yourself in cold water I can't speak to any of that I'm just getting over a cold
right now so I jury's out on that one but I can tell you that I have been
finding value in the cold shower as just a mental challenge now that may not
sound like a very significant challenge but think about it if you can't control
yourself when you're getting hit with cold water how do you think you're gonna
control yourself when you're getting hit by a punch or if you're getting stabbed
this is a great exercise for self-defense when I step into the shower
and I turn on that cold water I pretend it's a fight and I'm seeing can I stand
my ground can I think clearly can I stay in control here or not
if the water can beat me well then I figure pretty much anybody can beat me
and I'm not gonna lie to you it has been tough the first few times I actually
just thought this is stupid this is impossible I made excuses I also
tried cheating I would start with a warm shower and then slowly make it colder
and colder until it's just enough cold for me to say I can handle that but
that's enough for the day I think that counts but in my heart I knew that
wasn't it I knew I had to toughen up that's what I kept telling myself come
on man toughen up mind over matter just get in there and
you can take it but that was a mistake as a general rule I would tell you
telling someone to just toughen up is worthless advice it's just as worthless
as telling someone bro relax what do you mean relax if I could
relax I would relax what do you mean toughen
up if I could toughen up I would just toughen up this is really important to
think about everybody no matter who you are has a breaking point no matter how
tough you think you are no matter how much stress you think you can take at
some point your brain will be overwhelmed your nerves and your body
will be overwhelmed so the real question isn't are you tough or how do you get
tougher because that will always break down at some point the question is what
do you do once you reach the breaking point what do you do when your mind is
overwhelmed what do you do when you're now feeling the pain the real issue here
is control who's in control what's in control if you're under stress and
you're letting that break you down then that stressful situation is controlling
you maybe your ego is controlling you maybe you just had an injury in that
pain is controlling you it makes you feel like you're limited that you're not
creative that you're not smart that you're not tough that you're not cool
whatever it is if you allow anything to take away your confidence take away your
power then it is beating you and that's not okay
it's not okay because if something is controlling you it's also taking away
your freedom now I don't know about you but the whole reason I started training
in the martial arts the whole reason I started training in self-defense was to
gain control at first I just wanted to control me I wanted to control my body
my health my thoughts my emotions but pretty soon it became clear that if you
want to be good in martial arts you also had to be good at controlling somebody
else someone who's out of control someone who's trying to take control
from you so that's what this is all about it's not about being tough it's
about controlling so let's get to some tips how do you stay in control of your
thoughts your feelings and your movements when
you're confronted with stress fear pain and doubt how do you maintain your
freedom instead of freezing up under pressure I've got a few ideas here and
let me tell you right up front I'm not a doctor I'm not a psychologist I'm just a
martial artist who's been experimenting with a few things they've been working
well for me so I'm sharing them so they'll hopefully work for you too but
it's always gonna be up to your own experiments
I've been trying these ideas out everywhere I've been trying them in
relationships at work I've been trying them in the dentist
chair while getting a massage I've tried them of course sparring grappling and
basically this tricks work everywhere so here they come
the first trick when your brain is stressed out when you're just obsessing
over the same fear or doubt over and over again I want you to swallow it and
drop it into your stomach I know I don't want to get wacky here I don't want to
talk about chakras and Chi with all due respect but the good news is I don't
think you have to just try this take all of that mental pressure and just move it
down into your gut I think your gut is just way tougher than your brain your
brain is delicate but I don't think the gut is even if you just think literally
about digestion you could go to an all-you-can-eat buffet right you're in
Vegas having a great time maybe you're drinking booze all kinds of it you go up
to that buffet and you eat food all kinds of it desserts all kinds of it you
eat so much your stomach is under a ton of pressure but your body miraculously
somehow breaks it all down it processes everything it's able to divide up the
nutrients it's able to level out your blood Sugar's it's able to somehow
balance out your hormones so that you don't die your gut is smart and tough so
if you give it a big job I think you can handle it
don't get me wrong your brain is power very powerful but it can only really
handle one problem at a time and if you just keep giving it one stimulus one
food fear or doubt or pain then it's just gonna keep sitting with it it
doesn't digest it it doesn't break it down it just keeps repeating what's
negative over and over again so in this case even if you just visualize it even
if this is all made up that you visualize moving it to a different part
of your body into your stomach I think you'll find that it frees up your brain
a little bit you find a little bit of mental space and in that space you can
start moving forward thinking creatively see the problem from a different angle
and find a solution so call me crazy but then next time you feel overwhelmed the
next time it feels like the whole world is pressing into your head take that
pressure and drop it drop it into your gut your gut can take it the second
trick instead of trying to move the pressure try to move you you don't have
to go do sprints or drop down for a hundred burpees although those are fine
ideas it could be as simple as breathing rapid breathing if that's what it takes
it could just be squeezing your fists or curling your toes flexing your thighs
just undulating your stomach muscles anything that gets you moving is going
to help you here's the thing under pressure it's very natural to freeze up
someone slaps you in the face you freeze up someone calls you a name or hurts
your feelings well you freeze up you take a hit get
hurt you freeze up it's just a natural reaction of your body to freeze mentally
and physically when there's a big problem coming your way of course just
because it's natural doesn't mean it's good necessarily in a self-defense
situation if you withdraw if you curl up and want to die you will die and
metaphorically speaking if it's relationships or business if you're not
in there still moving forward and taking actions you're gonna curl up and
die as well so let's not fall into the trap of taking away our own freedom by
allowing our natural reaction to curl up and die
take over we should be training ourselves to always be moving forward
mentally and physically when you feel overwhelmed when you feel frozen
mentally and physically and you can't move that pressure out of your head into
your gut well then let your body take the lead by moving your body even a
little bit even just by breathing or wiggling your fingers you're showing
your brain that you're not trapped you can get out of that curled up position
and start expanding again start getting the blood moving again start getting the
oxygen circulating again start getting your thinking moving again everything
can come from the body back to your mind when I was a kid I played Little League
baseball and when I got hit by a pitch and I wanted to cry or die the coach
would always say the same thing walk it off nowadays you might hear
Taylor Swift to tell you to shake it off well there's a lot of wisdom in those
words movement has magic in it so the next time you're under stress you're in
pain you're afraid wiggle something breathe
just move I think you'll be amazed at how much that frees up your brain to
start solving the problem the third trick okay the third trick is to give
your mind a task like I said your mind is very very powerful but it is wired to
find problems that's not a bad thing you want to be safe in your environment so
your brain constantly scanning for trouble is a good thing the problem is
if you don't move to the next step to solve that problem it'll just keep
sounding the alarm bell it just keeps repeating the problem over and over
again to break that cycle you have to purposely give it something
to do it's kind of like that old idea of counting sheep so you can get to sleep
your mind is thinking about all kinds of stuff so you give it a task even a
menial simple seemingly unimportant tasks like counting sheep
and it helps turn off the bells widening your awareness releases stress and helps
you see the problem from a different perspective which can only help you
solve it so what kinds of things can you do really whatever you want but let's
say you say the alphabet backwards say it backwards as fast as you can that
hurts my brain just thinking about it or give yourself a math problem anything
maybe write a haiku sing your favorite song over and over in your head maybe
make it to do lists of what you need to do that day anything will work just
remember that your brain is not your enemy it's trying to help you and it
just needs a little Direction it's a powerful weapon that just needs to be
aimed at the right target okay you know I want to be clear about something when
we're talking about these tricks to manage your fear and pain and stress I
am in no way telling you to deny or just distract yourself from a problem if
you're in cold water you need to know you're in cold water so you don't die of
hypothermia if someone is insulting you you need to know that so that you can
handle that as a threat appropriately if you break a bone or something's about to
break your bone you should know all about that
that information is crucial for your survival and your happiness so I'm not
talking about denying problems and I'm not talking about just distracting
yourself from problems don't forget information is power
but it's only powerful if you've trained yourself to use it to control it stress
is not going away no matter who you are you're going to be in pain at some point
the big question is how long does it take you to turn the page to get to the
next chapter in your story if you don't turn that page well then your story
might end right there so this is what your self defense training is all about
learning to get as much information as you can and then learning how to use it
to survive of course that's not just going to help you in a fight
to everything you do in your life so don't let stress or pain or fear shrink
your body or frees your mind don't let anything or anyone control you and steal
your freedom don't let your own doubts and your own ego catch you in a trap
when you feel the weight of the world crushing you when you feel like you're
suffocating breathe move think focus on what you can do not on what you can't
focus on what feels good not on what hurts focus on what's working not what's
broken focusing on what you can control instead of what you can't control is the
secret to holding on to your freedom
Okay, that's all I wanted to say. If you found any of that interesting or helpful,
thank you for sharing it with a friend or at least giving it a thumbs up. Until
next time, smiles up, my friend. Let your smile be
your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life!