♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Greg: HAPPY WEDNESDAY,
EVERYBODY.
I CALL IT HUMP DAY BUT I DON’T
WANT TO GET YOUR HOPES UP.
WE’RE LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE
RAID AT MAR-A-LAGO, TURNS OUT
THE FEDS ACTUALLY BROKE INTO
MELANIA’S CLOSET, SPENT A LOT OF
TIME IN THERE. HERE THEY ARE LEAVING.
HERE THEY ARE LEAVING.
♪
>> Greg: FEDS ARE HOT.
IMAGINE IF THEY DID THIS TO
HILLARY’S CLOSET.
WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD
FIND THERE?
TRUE.
SHE’S KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN
ALEC BALDWIN.
OH, STOP IT.
OF COURSE, THE NEW ANGLE FOR THE
MEDIA IS THE PRESIDENT RAIDS HIS
OPPONENT’S HOME BUT IT’S THE
REPUBLICANS WHO POUNCE.
SO IT’S NOW YOU WHO’S THE
THREAT.
FORGET PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL
SUPREME COURT JUSTICES OR
KILLING COPS, THEY FORGET THE
CULPRIT TO THEIR FANCY
STEREOTYPES WHICH OFTEN LOOK
LIKE THIS.
THAT’S ACTUALLY, THAT’S NOT
PHOTO SHOPPED TYRUS.
UNTIL THEY FACE POSSIBILITIES OF
VIOLENCE BASED ON WORDS OF
EVERYDAY PEOPLE REACTING TO A
NEWS EVENT THAT TAKES UP THEIR
LIVES, ARRESTING THEM FOR
THOUGHT CRIMES CAN’T BE FAR
BEHIND WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT’S
LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR OUR
PRESIDENT TO BE CHARGED WITH.
BUT REMEMBER TO THEM WORDS ARE
THE SAME AS VIOLENCE.
MEANWHILE REAL VIOLENCE BURNING
DOWN A COUPLE CITY BLOCKS IS
SOMETHING YOU HAD COMING.
CALLS OF NBC ACTUALLY COMBED
THROUGH PRO TRUMP MESSAGE BOARDS
LOOKING FOR DANGER.
>> NOT PARTICULARLY BRIGHT
PEOPLE BUT THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO
ARE READY TO FIGHT.
THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE READY
TO GO AND THEY’VE PROVEN TONIGHT
THE PAST AND NOW THEY ARE READY
TO FIGHT REGARDLESS OF IF
THEY’RE BEING WATCHED BY THE FBI
OR NOT.
>> I WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED IF
WE SEE THE DEPARTMENT OF
HOMELAND SECURITY ISSUE SOME
KIND OF BULLETIN THAT WE ARE
ENTERING A HEIGHTENED THREAT IN
VIOLENCE
>> Greg: BULLETIN.
WE’RE GOING TO HELL.
MEANWHILE OUR FAVORITE FART
SNIFFING DOPE RANTING ABOUT
ELECTION VIOLENCE.
>> REPUBLICANS HAVE RECOGNIZED
THEY CAN NO LONGER WIN ELECTIONS
WITH VOTES AND SO THEY’RE
LEANING IN HARD TO TRY TO WIN
ELECTIONS WITH VIOLENCE AND
THEY’RE FOR MEANTING THAT
VIOLENCE NOW.
THIS IS WHO THEY ARE NOW,
THEY’RE A CHAOS PARTY.
>> Greg: HMM.
SOY IT’S NOT THE RAID
FORMEANTING VIOLENCE IT’S THE
REACTION TO IT.
IF SWALWELL GOT ANY DUMBER, A
BOX OF HAMMERS MIGHT SUE HIM FOR
STOLEN VALOR.
NICE BEARD HOME. MEDIA TRUMP
SUPPORTERS FOR POLITICAL
RETRIBUTION THOSE PEOPLE ARE ON
THE RADARS BUT I DOUBT THEY’LL
HIT THE STREETS AND BURN DOWN
AFFORDABLE HOUSING.
JUST REACTING TO A SHOCKING ACT
TO SOMEONE THEY ADMIRE BUT
EXPRESSING ANGER MAKES YOU A
TARGET.
LIKE WHEN SOME IDIOT JUMPS INTO
A LION’S CAGE AT THE ZOO AND
NATURALLY UPSETS THE LIONS THEN
THEY BLAME THE LION FOR EATING
OFF THE IDIOT’S FACE.
SO I INVITE KILMEADE TO THE ZOO.
SO THE NEWS NOW IS RAID.
AND IN A WORD CONTRADICTION THE
PRESS MOCKED THE ANGER WHILE
PACKAGING IT AS DEADLY.
BUT I WONDER HOW WEIRD THOSE
MESSAGES ARE.
THEY MIGHT BE.
BUT IT’S HARD TO TRUST ANYTHING
FROM THESE PEOPLE.
I MEAN HOW MANY INFORMANTS
HELPED PLAN THE CRIME THEY WERE
WORKING ON?
GOOD QUESTION.
TOO BAD NO ONE WILL EVER ANSWER
THAT.
>> DID ANYBODY FBI AGENT OR
CONFIDENTIAL INFORMANTS ACTIVELY
PARTICIPATE IN THE EVENTS OF
JANUARY 6TH, YES OR NO.
>> SIR, I CAN’T, I CAN’T ANSWER
THAT.
>> DID ANY FBI AGENTS OR FBI
INFORMANTS ACTIVELY OWN COURAGE
AND INSIGHT CRIMES OF VIOLENCE
ON JANUARY 6TH.
>> SIR, I CAN’T ANSWER THAT.
>> DID MR. EPPS ENCOURAGE THEM
TO TEAR DOWN THE BARRICADES.
>> LIKE THE OTHERS I CAN’T
ANSWER THAT
>> Greg: WHY SHOULDN’T YOU
ANSWER THAT ABOUT THIS RAID NOW.
THINK ABOUT IT.
REMEMBER ALL THE PEOPLE WHO
BELIEVED TRUMP WA AN EXISTENTIAL
THREAT.
>> THE EXISTENTIAL SCANDAL.
>> HE’S AN ENJOYS STINGSAL
THROAT TO THOSE VALUES.
>> EX EXTENSIONAL THREAT TOTE
WHAT THE COUNTRY’S NATURE SHOULD
BE.
>> EX EXTENSIONAL THREAT TO OUR
DEMOCRACY.
>> EX EXTENSION AL THREAT TO OUR
NATION AND GLOBE.
>> EX EXTENSION AL THREAT TO THE
FUTURE OF THE UNITED STATES.
>> HE IS AN EX EXTENSIONAL
THREAT TO THE COUNTRY.
>> THEY BELIEVE IS EXTENSIONAL
THAT THEY NEED TO UNSEAT
PRESIDENT TRUMP.
>> SAYS THE EXPERT IN GETTING
UNSEATED
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Greg: OH, STOP IT.
HE’S DOWN.
HE’S GOT A NEW JOB.
AND REMEMBER ALL THE COMPARISONS
TO HITLER?
>> WE’RE ALREADY DEALING WITH A
PRESIDENT WHO REFERS TO THE
PRESS AS THE ENEMY OF THE
PEOPLE, THAT’S LANGUAGE USED BY
ADOLF HITLER.
>> AMERICAN POISONED HUMAN
BEINGS, LOOK AT DONALD TRUMP AND
SEE THEIR BIGGEST HERO SINCE
ADOLF HITLER.
>> NO DIFFERENCE WHAT DONALD
TRUMP IS PREACHING TO WHAT ADOLF
HIT LETTERS PREACHED IN THE
EARLY 30s
>> Greg: NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL
APPARENTLY. SOMEONE BETTER ALERT TRUMP RIGHT
SOMEONE BETTER ALERT TRUMP RIGHT
AWAY HE HAS THREE JEWISH
GRANDKIDS.
WOW.
THAT IS ONE LOUSY HITLER.
YOU SUCCEED AS HITLER.
WOW.
AND SOMEONE BETTER ALERT DONNIE
DOICH THAT HE’S STILL A WITNESS
WITLESS [BLEEP].
TOO EASY.
IF THEY FEEL THAT WAY WHY
WOULDN’T THEY GO ABOVE THE LAW
TO TAKE OUT THE NEXT EXCEPTIONAL
THREAT.
THEY BURIED THE LAPTOP STORY AND
THE RUSSIAN HOAX SO WHY NOT
FABRICATE ONE AGAIN IF YOU
BELIEVE HE’S ORANGE HITLER AND
IF HE’S HITLER WE’RE NAZIS.
THE FBI ALREADY INFLATED THE
NUMBER OF DOMESTIC TERRORISTS
AND THEN THEY TRIED TO DEFINE
PARENTS AT SCHOOL BOARD MEETINGS
AT WHITE SUPREMACISTS.
REMEMBER TRUMP SUPPORTERS
ATTACKED ON THE STREETS TARGETED
AT RESTAURANTS REMINDS ME OF THE
2020 MOVIE THE HUNT ABOUT TRUMP
SUPPORTERS HUNTD IN THE WILD BY
RICH LIBS LIKE THEY COULD HUNT.
IT MAY BE TIME TO RECLASSIFY
THAT MOVIE FROM HORROR THRILLER
TO DOCUMENTARY.
WHAT’S NEXT?
IF THEY GO AFTER PEOPLE ON
MESSAGE BOARDS WON’T THAT
RADICAL EYES MORE PEOPLE AND
CREATE MORE THREATS.
SUDDENLY EVERYONE RIGHT OF THE
VIEW IS A THREAT.
THIS WORRIES ME.
YOU SHOULD NOW BE AFRAID OF YOUR
OWN SCARE TACTICS BECAUSE WHAT
HAPPENS WHEN REPUBLICANS REGAIN
POWER FOR US IT WILL BE THE
FIRST TIME YOU PEE AFTER TEN
BEERS.
IT’S GOING TO FEEL AMAZING.
THAT MIGHT BE THE BEST FEELING
EVER.
APPLAUSE OVER URINATING.
BUT IT’S THE DEMS WHO BROKE THE
SEAL WITH THE RAID.
JUST LIKE 2015, THEY POKED THE
BEAST, THEY MOCKED THE BEAST,
THEN THE BEAST ABSORBED ALL
THEIR ENERGY FROM ALL THEIR TV
SHOATS ON MORNING JOE AND
DEVOURED THE DEMOCRATS LIKE
SELTZER EATING PIZZA ON A
TOILET.
AND NOW THEIR TRUMP DERANGEMENT
GAVE ALL THEIR CRITICS AMNESIA
SO THEY FORGET PERSECUTION LEADS
TO RED CONTRIBUTION.
IT’S CAUSE AND EFFECT.
LIKE JOE PLUS COAT EQUALS
CONFUSION.
SOLE WHAT GOES AROUND COMES
AROUND UNTIL THE ONLY ONE AROUND
IS THIS GUY.
AND IT’S LIKE THEY ALWAYS SAY,
THE NIGHT IS ALWAYS DARKEST
BEFORE THE DAWN.
LET’S WELCOME TONIGHT’S GUESTS!
IF LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE
THEN HE’S DR. CA ROARKIAN, JAMIE
LISSOW.
HER FILMS ARE DARKER THAN THE
ONE I LEAVE IN MY BATHTUB.
FILM MAKER PRODUCER DIRECTOR OF
THE NEW ALEX JONES DOCUMENTARY,
ALEX LEE MOYER!
LIKE A POTATO SHE’S USUALLY
BRAKED, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR KAT
TIMPF.
>> AND SPACE MOUNTAIN WAITS IN
LINE TO RIDE HIM.
MASSIVE SIDE KICK AND NWA WORLD
CHAMPION TYRUS!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Greg: SO JAMIE IT’S GOOD TO
SEE YOU.
>> Jamie: GOOD TO SEE YOU
>> Greg: I THINK YOU NEED TO
START WEARING TIGHTER SHIRTS.
>> I FEEL LIKE THIS SHIRT IS THE
RIGHT SIZE.
IT’S MY BODY THAT’S TOO BIG.
>> Greg: THERE MUST BE SOME PART
OF A STORE THAT WOULD SELL YOU A
SHIRT THAT WOULD PROBABLY GIVE
YOU MORE ROOM TO MOVE.
>> Jamie: YEAH.
I GO TO THE SMALL AND SHORT
MEN’S STORE
>> Greg: YES.
I BET YOU DO.
I MEAN, AS WE ALL PROBABLY KNOW
WHO WATCH THE SHOW REGULARLY
YOU’RE MAINLY A THREAT TO
YOURSELF.
>> YEAH
>> Greg: BUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU
COULD BE A THREAT TO THIS
COUNTRY NOW CORRECT?
>> Jamie: YOU THINK SO.
REAL QUICK PAUSE.
WHEN YOU SAIDD IN THE MONOLOGUE
THE PEEING AFTER 12 BEERS
>> Greg: YES.
>> Jamie: I DON’T KNOW THAT
THERE IS A BETTER FEELING AND IT
ALSO HELPS WAKE YOU UP IN THE
MORNING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
GETS YOU RIGHT OUT OF BED.
>> Greg: SAD.
>> Jamie: I BELIEVE THAT, I DO
BELIEVE THAT BIDEN DID NOT KNOW
THE SIEGE WAS HAPPENING.
I DON’T KNOW IF OTHER PEOPLE
WOULD AGREE WITH THAT OR NOT.
I HEARD THAT HIS ALIBI, IT WOULD
BE THAT HE WAS PUTTING HIS
JACKET ON FOR THE NINE AND A
HALF HOURS OF THE SIEGE.
ISN’T IT CRAZY HOW DIFFERENT
BIDEN AND TRUMP ARE?
COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE MORE
DIFFERENT.
TRUMP GOT HIS HOUSE BROKEN INTO,
BIDEN’S NOT EVEN HOUSE BROKEN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Greg: YOU GOT ONE MORE?
>> Jamie: YEAH
>> Greg: I ALWAYS ASSUME HE HAS
THREE.
HE USUALLY BATS 2 OUT OF 3, ONE
USUALLY SUCKS.
COULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST ONE.
>> Jamie: HERE IT COMES.
I DID GIVE HIM -- SOMETIMES I
CLICK OVER TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING
ON ON THE OTHER STATIONS, IT WAS
INFURIATING CHECKING OUT CNN BUT
MY DAD ALWAYS TOLD ME, WHEN LIFE
GIVES YOU DON LEMON, CHANGE THE
CHANNEL
>> Greg: THERE’S A GUY HERE THAT
JUST LAUGHED AT EVERYTHING YOU
SAY.
I THINK YOU BROUGHT HIM.
ALEX WELCOME TO THE SHOW SO
HAPPY TO HAVE YOU LOVE YOUR
MOVIES.
>> Alex: THANK YOU SO MUCH
>> Greg: YOUR FIRST MOVIE I
ALWAYS GREW UP THE TITLE BECAUSE
I’M OLD WHAT’S THE TITLE?
YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT
MESSAGE BOARDS AND ALSO YOU’RE
ALEX JONES A TERRIFIC
DOCUMENTARY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO
LIKE ALEX JONES TO LIKE THE
MOVIE.
WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS
SO-CALLED DISBELIEF OF VIOLENT
RHETORIC ON MESSAGE BOARDS?
THAT’S KIND OF YOUR FIELDHOUSE.
>> Alex: I THINK ANYTIME YOU GO
LOOKING FOR THAT KIND OF THING
ON A MESSAGE BOARD YOU’LL BE
ABLE TO FIND IT.
SO BEING ABLE TO WEAPON EYES
THAT AT ANY MOMENT MAKES A LOT
OF SENSE AND THIS IS, YOU KNOW,
THE DEMOCRATS, THEIR PLATFORM
FIS FEAR RIGHT NOW SO IT’S RIGHT
IN THEIR TOOLBOX
>> Greg: DO YOU THINK THIS HELPS
TRUMP?
BECAUSE HE’S ALREADY KIND OF A
FOLK HERO.
PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT DeSANTIS
AND NOW IT’S KIND OF LIKE, WELL,
NO, HE’S BACK.
AND HE’S BACK AND PISSED.
IT’S LIKE RAMBO 2.
>> Alex: YEAH.
I MEAN --
>> Greg: THANK YOU.
THEY LIKE RAMBO.
>> Alex: IT’S DEFINITELY AMAZING
FOR HIS STORY ARC, AS IF IT
COULDN’T GET ANY MORE
INTERESTING.
THE HERO’S JOURNEY JUST KEEPS
GETTING WEIRDER AND WEIRDER
>> Greg: THAT’S TRUE.
I THINK IF I WAS YOUR FRIEND I
WOULD TELL YOU THAT’S YOUR NEXT
MOVIE, JUST FOLLOWING TRUMP
AROUND.
>> Alex: UH-HUH.
WE’LL SEE.
HE’D HAVE TO -- THE ACCESS MIGHT
BE A PROBLEM.
>> Greg: YEAH.
BUT YOU BOTH HAVE THE SAME COLOR
HAIR.
>> THAT’S TRUE.
>> Tyrus: RIVETING JOURNALISM
>> Greg: THANK YOU.
I NEED TYRUS.
>> Tyrus: YOU HIT ABOUT 2 OUT OF
3, TOO, SOMETIMES.
I’M MAD ABOUT THE SPACE MOUNTAIN
THING.
>> Greg: MORE LIKE NUMBER 2 OUT
OF 3.
TYRUS WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> Tyrus: I THINK IT’S IMPORTANT
THAT WE NEED TO REMEMBER, DO NOT
RESPOND.
LIKE THIS IS -- WE’RE BEING
HECKLED.
YOU’RE BEING ATTACKED.
THEY THREW A JAB, WASN’T A GREAT
JAB BUT ANNOYING, LIKE KIND OF
STUCK IN THE EYE KIND OF JAB.
WHAT I AM PLEASED TO SEE, MR.
PRESIDENT LISTENED TO US AT ALL
WHEN HE WAS RUNNING AGAINST JOE
SAYING STOP BEATING UP THE OLD
GUY THEY FEEL BAD AND HE WOULD
COME OUT AND HE WOULD FIGHT.
HE HAD A PRIVATE MEETING.
I’M SO PROUD OF HIM.
HE DIDN’T GET INVOLVED.
IF YOU DON’T RESPOND, THEY NEED
THE RESPONSE.
THEY NEED SOMEBODY TO BURN
SOMETHING DOWN.
THEY NEED US TO FALL AND PLAY
THEIR GAME.
OUR RESPONSE WILL BE AT THE
BALLOT BOX.
THAT’S WHERE WE NEED TO RESPOND
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE].
>> Tyrus: THEY’RE NOT GOING TO
GET JANUARY 6TH II NO MATTER HOW
BAD THEY WANT IT.
THEY’RE NOT GOING TO GET THE RED
MAGA HATS TO BURN DOWN A
BUILDING OR DESTROY A CITY
BECAUSE MOST OF US WORK IN THESE
CITIES AND WE NEED TO KEEP THE
ECONOMY GOING THANKS TO THE
ADMINISTRATION.
SO NO RESPONSE IS THE BEST
RESPONSE.
BE THE SNAKE AT THE BOTTOM OF
THE OCEAN AND LET THEM LITTLE
PUNKS CHEW ON YOU AND STRIKE AT
THE BALLOT BOX
>> Greg: KAT DO YOU BELIEVE
WE’RE ENTERING A HEIGHTENED
THREAT ENVIRONMENT?
>> Kat: YEAH, PEOPLE ARE GROSS
ON MESSAGE BOARDS.
IF I WORRIED ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE
SAID ABOUT ME ON MESSAGE BOARDS,
I WOULD NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE
BECAUSE I WOULD BE TOO SCARED I
WAS GOING TO GET HIT WITH A
PEANUT.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Greg: HOW DO YOU GET HIT WITH
A PEANUT?
WHO’S THROWING THAT?
>> Kat: PEOPLE HAVE SOME STUFF
TO SAY.
THEY HAVE SOME THOUGHTS IN THEIR
HEAD AND THEN THEY TYPE THEM
OUT.
NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING YET
REALLY.
THERE’S BEEN DAYS OF JUST THESE
FIERY, FIERY HOT TAKES COMING
FROM ALL OVER THE PLACE ABOUT
SOMETHING WE HAVE ALMOST NO
INFORMATION ABOUT IT
>> Greg: BUT ISN’T THAT THE
STORY OF OUR LIVES.
I MEAN, IF WE ACTUALLY WAITED
FOR THE FACTS, WE WOULDN’T HAVE
A SHOW.
SOMETIMES I DON’T EVEN READ.
I READ THE HEAD LINE AND THEN I
SIT DOWN AND DO THE SHOW.
KIDDING YOU KNOW I PREPARE.
>> Tyrus: YOU HAVE THE NOTES
RIGHT THERE TO PROVE IT
>> Greg: OUR ASSISTANT JULIO