THEY ARE RIGHT. GREG: CAN’T ARGUE WITH HIM.
[CHEERING]
[CHEERING] GREG: IT IS TIME FOR THE BUS
SHOW OF YOUR LIFE, EVER.
GREG: DO YOU WANT A VICTORY LAP,
YOU GOT ONE TRADE THIS WAS THE
BEST WEEK EVER, YOU HAD
EVERYTHING, TRUMP CRUSHES AND
IMPEACHMENT, THE DEMOCRATS
EMPLOYED, ALL THAT’S MISSING IS
AN INVASION OF SPEECH CREATURES
JUST LIKE CINNAMON BUNS THAT
LOOK LIKE RYAN SEACREST.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] IT IS BEAUTIFUL.
AND IMPEACH HOLICK, HE HAS A
CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE, ALL
FORWARDING AT THE SAME TIME.
>> CAN ASK THE UKRAINIANS TO
HELP THEM CHEAT AND ELECTION.
CHEAT AND ELECTION.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] >> IT’S LIKE A SECOND CHRISTMAS,
KILLING THE DRIFTER IN THE WOODS
PRE-THAT’S ANOTHER STORY.
YOU CAN MEASURE THE JOY AND
MISERY OF THOSE WHO VOTED
AGAINST YOU.
AGAINST YOU. LOOK AT THE WINNERS AT THE STATE
OF THE UNION.
ABOUT LOTS OF STUFF.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] THEY APPEARED AS JOYLESS AS A
BOARDED UP A LIQUOR STORE.
WOULD IT KILL THEM TO STAND UP
AND APPLAUD ONCE.
AND THERE IS NANCY RIPPING UP
THE SPEECH, IT TURNED OUT SHE
ACTUALLY NEEDED IT PRE-RIPPED SO
SHE COULD PULL IT OFF AND I
WONDER WHO ACTUALLY CUTS A
PERSON.
PERSON. [LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] SHE GOT EVERYTHING THAT SHE
WANTED BUT SODA TRUMP, I DID NOT
REALLY REALIZE HOW GREAT HIS
SPEECH WAS, ALTHOUGH SHUFFLING,
IT’S LIKE THE WORLD WORST
BLACKJACK DEALER.
BLACKJACK DEALER. SHE WAS A MESS BECAUSE SHE KNEW
WHERE THIS WAS GOING.
>> WE WENT THROUGH HELL,
UNFAIRLY, DID NOTHING WRONG.
DID NOTHING WRONG.
>> I DID THINGS WRONG IN MY
LIFE, I WILL ADMIT, NOT
PURPOSELY BUT I’VE DONE THINGS
WRONG.
WRONG. BUT THIS IS WHAT THE END RESULT
IS.
IS. [CHEERING]
[CHEERING] GREG: ACQUITTAL.
GREG: ACQUITTAL. YOU SAW IT COMING, I THOUGHT
COMING, BUT THE DEMS DID NOT.
IT AIN’T HAPPENING.
AND WHEN ALL FULL PART, SO DID
THEY.
THEY. TRUMP DID HIS PRESSER, IT WAS A
DOOZY.
DOOZY. BUT HEY THIS IS POLITICS.
>> THIS IS POLITICS.
AND WE WERE TREATED UNBELIEVABLY
UNFAIRLY AND YOU HAVE TO
UNDERSTAND, WE FIRST WENT
THROUGH RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA.
IT WAS ALL [BLEEP]
[CHEERING]
[CHEERING] GREG: THAT SAD WE HAVE TO
[BLEEP] THAT.
[BLEEP] THAT. HE HIT EVERYONE INCLUDING STEVE
SCALISE.
SCALISE. REMEMBER HE GOT WHACKED.
>> HE GOT WHACKED.
HE GOT WHACKED.
BY STEVE WRIGHT, I WENT TO A
HOUSE WITH A GREAT FIRST LADY
THAT NIGHT, RIGHT HONEY AND WE
SAW A MAN THAT WAS NOT GOING TO
MAKE IT.
MAKE IT. IT WAS THE DOCTOR, AND I TOLD
HIM, I SAID YOUR WIFE, LOVES
YOU, WHY DO YOU SAY THAT,
BECAUSE SHE WAS DEVASTATED.
A LOT OF WIVES WOULDN’T EVEN
REALLY GIVE A DAMN.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] GREG: STEVE SCALISE, I ACTUALLY
HONESTLY THINK YOU ARE BETTER
LOOKING AT.
LOOKING AT. >> STEVE SCALISE, I ACTUALLY,
HONESTLY THINK YOU’RE BETTER
LOOKING NOW.
LOOKING NOW. YOU WEREN’T THAT GOOD-LOOKING.
YOU LOOK GOOD NOW.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] GREG: THAT’S AMAZING.
BUT WHAT ABOUT BOBBY RICHARDSON.
>> BOBBY RICHARDSON WOULD KILL
THEM OFF.
THEM OFF. HE HAD UNBELIEVABLE RANGE.
THIS WAS NOT STEVE SCALISE.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] STEVE SCALISE HAD NO RANGE.
GREG: ENOUGH ABOUT STEVE
SCALISE.
SCALISE. WHAT ABOUT CHRISTOPHER STEELE,
HE SHOULD’VE SUED HIM TO.
>> I SHOULD’VE SUED HIM TO BUT
PEOPLE DON’T LIKE SUING, I WANT
TO THINK MY LEGAL TEAM, NOT TO
THAT DEVICE FOR OTHER ADVICE.
GREG: TRUMP IS A LONESOME HUMAN
BEING IS ANY.
>> TRUMP IS A LONESOME HEN HUMAN
BEING.
BEING. I’M NOT REALLY ABOUT PERSON.
GREG: DID THE MEDIA FEEL THAT
WAY?
WAY? WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> VINDICTIVE, PROFANE, ANGRY,
RAMBLING RESPONSE, THIS IS
IMPEACHMENT ACQUITTAL.
IMPEACHMENT ACQUITTAL. >> WAS FULL OF REVENGE,
MEAN-SPIRITED, POISONOUS.
MEAN-SPIRITED, POISONOUS. >> THE FIRST TIME THE WORD BS
AND HE DID NOT ABBREVIATE WAS
USED IN THE EAST ROOM AND A
FORMAL ADDRESS.
FORMAL ADDRESS. >> IT WAS DARK BECAUSE HE MADE
CLEAR HIS MIND IS DARK.
THIS IS SOMEBODY IN DEEP
PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS RIGHT
NOW.
NOW. GREG: ONCE AGAIN THE SHRINKS
COME OUT TO PLAY.
BUT THESE MORONS CANNOT
DIAGNOSE.
DIAGNOSE. WHICH THEY PROBABLY HAVE, MUCH
LESS MENTAL ILLNESS PAID BUT IF
THE MEDIA WAS IN THE MEDICAL
PROFESSION, ALL OF THEM WOULD
WORKOUT TAX-FREE WHY IS IT SO
BAD FOR THEM, THE FACTS ARE
KILLING THEM, 90% OF AMERICANS
ARE SATISFIED WITH THEIR
PERSONAL LIFE.
PERSONAL LIFE. THE APPROVAL NUMBERS FOR THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY, TRUMP’S
NUMBERS JUMP DURING IMPEACHMENT
AS NEW JOB NUMBERS MEET
EXPECTATIONS.
EXPECTATIONS. ALL THE PROSPERITY AND
HAPPINESS, WHAT DID THE DEMS
HAVE TO OFFER, VICTIMHOOD,
CANCEL CULTURE, IDENTITY
POLITICS, CLASS WARFARE, ANGER.
NO WONDER THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY
IS LESS POPULAR THAN FRYING
BACON IN THE NUDE.
LEARNED.
LEARNED. AFTER THAT THE FIRST TIME
COMPETITION IN THE
STREETFIGHTING DEPARTMENT.
STREETFIGHTING DEPARTMENT. CAN YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
TRUMP ROLLED OVER UNLESS IT’S
OVER SOMEONE.
OVER SOMEONE. [LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] IN A WORLD OF MYTHS, HE’S A
BOXING GLOVE, HE PUNCHES BACK
AND IT CAN BE EXHAUSTING FOR
EVERYONE INCLUDING REPUBLICANS
WHO ARE NOT USED TO IT.
BUT IT IS ALSO HILARIOUS, TRUMP
TWEETS MEMES THAT ACQUITTAL
EVERYONE FROM GAVIN NEWSOM, THEY
DESERVE IT.
DESERVE IT. BUT SO DO WE, WE DESERVE TO SEE
THEM FREAK OUT.
IT IS OUR REWARD FOR MONTHS OF
HYSTERIA.
HYSTERIA. [LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE TO BE
THRILLED ABOUT.
THRILLED ABOUT. FOR THE MEDIA AND THE DEMS,
POLITICS IS ALWAYS PERSONAL.
IS BILLS AND SPORTS, EDUCATION,
ENTERTAINMENT, IS COLLUDED
EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING. BUT TRUMP HAS REVERSED THE
CURRENT.
CURRENT. HE HAS BROUGHT REAL LIFE INTO
POLITICS.
POLITICS. JOKES, INSULTS, HONEST TO GOD,
LAUGHS, IT’S A NEW YORK LIFE
CROSS BETWEEN A CONSTRUCTION
BOSS AND A CABDRIVER.
BUT STILL IT IS GREAT BECAUSE IT
DRIVES THE ESTABLISHMENT
BONKERS.
BONKERS. IS IT OVER, HARDLY.
THE HATE IS DEEP IN AN EMOTIONAL
INVESTMENT HEAVY TOO DEEP TO
SCAR.
SCAR. WE WILL GO THROUGH MILLIONS OF
DOLLARS, MONTHS OF ATTENTION, A
PHONY EXERCISE WITH THE MEDIA
STRONGLY BEHIND IT.
REALLY IMPEACHMENT IS A FANTASY
SPORTS LEAGUE FOR LOSERS.
BUT AS THEY GET WORSE TRUMP
SEEMS TO GET BETTER BECAUSE
IMPEACHMENT IS HIS VITAMIN.
YOU KEEP TAKING THEM WHO KEEP
TAKING THEM.
TAKING THEM. [CHEERING]
[CHEERING] WELCOME TONIGHT’S GUEST, SHE HAS
GALL IN A SOUTHERN DRAWL, DAGEN
MCDOWELL.
MCDOWELL. [CHEERING]
[CHEERING] HE’S WRITTEN MORE SCRIPPS THAN A
DOCTOR IN THE ER, TV WRITER ROB
LONG HE’S A FACE OF A
GENERATION, SHE IS THE FACE OF
JEN, KAT KAT TIMPF,.
[CHEERING]
[CHEERING] AND WELCOMING.
AND WELCOMING. WHEN IT COMES TO A LOSER I
PREFER A SORE LOSER.
WHEN YOU BEAT THEM, THEY HAVE A
TOTAL MELTDOWN IN A HELP TO
SAVOR THE VICTORY.
IT PUTS AN EXCLAMATION POINT ON
IT.
IT. AND THEY WERE DENIED THE HISTORY
CLINTON MELTDOWN BECAUSE SHE HAD
AFTER SHE LOST THE DONALD TRUMP
RING THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR
OVER THREE YEARS TO WATCH WHAT
NANCY PELOSI DID AT THE STATE OF
THE UNION ADDRESS.
SHE PRACTICALLY HAD A TWITCH.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] AND SHE WAS BITING THE INSIDE OF
HER MOUTH AND THEN SHE
COMPLETELY LOST IT AND IT DROVE
HOME THE VICTORY.
GREG: I HELP BUT NOTICE THE
RESPONSE THAT TRUMP NEVER
CHANGES.
CHANGES. IT’S LIKE OH MY GOD, HE SAID
THIS, I CAN’T BELIEVE HE SAID
BS, THEY LIVE IN A WORLD WERE
THEY NEVER HEARS THESE THINGS,
AND COMING FROM THE PRESIDENT,
IT’S BEEN THREE OR FOUR YEARS,
MOVE ON.
MOVE ON. >> THE GUY IS FUNNY.
A FRIEND OF MINE WRITES FOR A
COMEDY SHOW AND HE’S A TRUMP
SUPPORTER AND THEY’RE ALL
WATCHING ALL THE WRITERS ARE
WATCHING HIM GIVE THE SPEECH AND
HE MAKES A BUNCH OF JOKES, COME
ON THE GUY IS FUNNY.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIKE HIM TO
THINK HE’S FUNNY.
I THINK THAT IS ULTIMATELY THE
THOUGHT OF THE DEMOCRAT, YOUR
BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT LIKE
HIM.
HIM. I DON’T LIKE IT.
, I LIKE THE PERCENT
UNEMPLOYMENT, I LIKE 200,000 NEW
JOBS, I LIKE THAT, I LIKE ALL
THE THINGS HE SAID IN THE STATE
OF THE UNION, GENUINE SUCCESSES
OF A PRESIDENT HAS A RIGHT TO
CLAIM, HE DID IT -- THEY
LITERALLY HAVE, THINGS ARE GOOD
BUT WERE MAD AS HELL ABOUT.
GREG: YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIKE HIS
WORD AND HIS DEEDS, BUT SAYING
THIS FOREVER, THERE MIGHT BE A
CORRELATION BETWEEN THE SUCCESS.
>> AMERICANS DID NOT HIRE HIM TO
BE THERE FROM.
THEY HIRED HIM TO DO THE JOB AND
HE DID HIS FOUR-YEAR REVIEW ON
TUESDAY NIGHT AND IT WAS PRETTY
GOOD.
GOOD. [CHEERING]
[CHEERING] GREG: I’M THE GUY THAT WHO SAID
IT WAS AWKWARD TO WORK.
IT KILLS ME TOO SAY.
GREG: KAT, THE WORD THING ABOUT
IT, HE WAS ON THE REPUBLICAN
SIDE BUT HE WAS A GOOD LIBERAL
PRESIDENT, SOME OF THE THINGS HE
WAS TALKING ABOUT WAS SOME OF
THE THINGS DEMOCRAT SHOULD’VE
BEEN APPLAUDING.
BEEN APPLAUDING. >> SOME TRANSCENDED POLITICS.
SO EVERYBODY HAS TO AGREE THAT
DONALD TRUMP HAS SAID AND DONE
MANY THINGS THAT ANYONE ELSE
WOULD’VE ENDED THEIR POLITICAL
CAREER A LONG TIME AGO.
AND THE DEMOCRATS DON’T GET IT.
THEIR SAME HOUSE AS POSSIBLE,
WHAT IS THE SOURCE SORCERY BUT I
LOT HAS TO DO WITH YOU GUYS, A
PERFECT EXAMPLE IS THE WAY THEY
ACTED AT THE STATE OF THE UNION.
IT WAS NOT JUST THE PAPER
RIPPING, WHEN HE’S TALKING ABOUT
THE TRANSCENDED POLITICS, LOW
UNEMPLOYMENT, HONORING A
VETERAN, LAWMAKERS ARE STANDING
UP AND TEARING AND THEY WERE
LIKE -- YOU JUST RIPPED YOUR
LIFE OR MY FREEDOM [BLEEP]
[CHEERING]
[CHEERING] BUT THAT’S PART OF THE REASON
WHY REPUBLICANS HAVE SUCH AN
EASY TIME SAYING IT’S TRUMP
DERANGEMENT SYNDROME.
DERANGEMENT SYNDROME. EVEN IF YOU HAVE A LEGITIMATE
CONCERN OR COMPLAINT ABOUT HIS
PRESIDENCY OR POLICIES, PEOPLE
WON’T TAKE IT AS SERIOUSLY
BECAUSE YOU ALREADY PROVEN YOU
DON’T NEED A REASON TO BE
COMPLAINING AND PISSED OFF.
GREG: THAT’S AN EXCELLENT POINT.
TYRUS WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE
WEEK?
WEEK? >> WELL LET’S FOCUS ON THE
POSITIVE OF THE DEMOCRATS.
I WAS SICK ALL WEEK.
SO I WATCHED A LOT OF TV.
YOU HAVE TO WAIT A LONG TIME TO
GET THE GOOD STUFF.
SO I WATCHED A LOT OF COVERAGE
OF THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL AND I
WATCHED A LOT OF IOWA CAUCUS
STUFF.
STUFF. I REMEMBER WATCHING IN THE
BEGINNING WHEN THEY WERE TRYING
TO FORM LINES LIKE WHO IT GROUP,
WHOSE VIABLE AND WHOSE NOT
VIABLE IN THE NICE OLD ELDERLY
LADY WHO CAN COUNT THE 127
PEOPLE IN THE ROOM AND LINED
THEM UP AND WAS IN CHARGE OF AN
APP, I KNOW IT’S JUST THE COUGH
MEDICINE BUT SHE’S GOING TO
SCREW THIS UP.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] THEY LITERALLY -- WHENEVER YOU
HAVE GLASSES WITH A CHAIN ON THE
END OF IT.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE
PERSON IN CHARGE OF A NEW APP.
>> YOUR SPOUSE TO BE IN THE
LIBRARY.
LIBRARY. >> I SAW ONE PERSON MOVING, WENT
FROM BIDEN TO WARN AND SHE WAS
LIKE NOPE, WE HAVE TO START
OVER.
OVER. AND THE BEST THING EVER WAS AN
EVEN OLDER GUY WHO COMES OVER TO
HELP HER LOOK, SHE SAYS DON’T, I
THINK IS 17, I THINK IS 24.
THEY ARE GOING TO MESS THIS UP.
ALL OF A SUDDEN I WAS TUNED IN.
I HAD THREE TVS GOING BECAUSE I
DID NOT WANT TO MISS ANYTHING
OFF.AND AT ONE TIME I’M LIKE THE
STILL MUST’VE THAT THEY COULDN’T
EVEN COUNT.
EVEN COUNT. WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IS GET A
BIG TENT AND PUT IT IN FRONT OF
THE CAMERA, UNDER CONSTRUCTION,