With coronavirus now spiking in the Midwest,
the U.S. has officially hit
five million cases,
with more than 160,000 people dead.
And with schools already reopening
in parts of the country, a new report says that
97,000 children contracted the virus
in just the last two weeks of July.
But despite all of that, there are still
a lot of Americans doing stuff like this.
There are growing concerns this morning
that tens of thousands of bikers
converging on Sturgis, South Dakota
could be taking part in the superspreading of Covid-19.
Officials have added beds at area hospitals with fears
that an uptick in the virus could be just weeks away.
REPORTER: The Sturgis Motorcycle Rally
is at full throttle in South Dakota.
REPORTER 2: Upwards of 400,000 bikers and guests
jammed the region, with few visible signs
of the coronavirus pandemic.
Throngs of maskless bikers packed the street.
REPORTER 3: Large crowds packed together at concerts and bars,
with very few masks in sight.
Yes. You see, some people look at the global pandemic
and see the glass half empty.
And some other people
smash the glass on the side of their head
and go... (whoops)
Because, yeah, of course bikers don't care about coronavirus.
These are the same people who already said (bleep) you
to seatbelts and airbags.
Not following safety precautions gives them a rush.
They'd fly on
the outside of a plane if they could.
Now, look, on the one hand,
maybe bikers are less likely to catch coronavirus
because they're riding outside.
But on the other hand,
they also like to ride
in long lines.
So, I mean, one person sneezes at the front,
and they're all screwed.
If you ask me, though, these bikers are gonna be fine.
Have you ever seen a movie about the apocalypse?
Who's left behind? Bikers.
The only people left behind are always bikers.
They're all driving around, having a good time.
I've seen Mad Max.
There wasn't a single epidemiologist.
Now, while the U.S. is still struggling
to get coronavirus under control,
it's also continuing to deal with
the economic fallout of the pandemic.
And although Congressional Republicans
eventually agreed with Democrats
that the country needs another round of coronavirus relief,
the two sides have been unable to reach an agreement
on what that should look like.
Nancy Pelosi wants to extend the $600-a-week benefits.
While Mitch McConnell wants
to give people just enough to starve.
Luckily for America, there's an excellent dealmaker
who lives in the White House.
But because she's busy in the Rose Garden,
her husband came up with this.
NEWSMAN: This morning, there's confusion and controversy
about President Trump's new executive actions
on coronavirus relief.
On Saturday, Trump signed four executive actions
that would extend unemployment benefits, curb evictions,
provide relief to student borrowers
and suspend collection of payroll taxes.
But Democrats are bashing the president's moves.
They say he's exceeding presidential authority
and that his orders actually
accomplish far less than meets the eye.
NEWSMAN 2: A lot of the claims President Trump made
at his New Jersey golf club this weekend
simply don't add up.
He says he's preventing evictions,
but in reality, his order directs federal agencies
to consider whether halting evictions is necessary.
Even some Republicans are accusing the president
of making promises he constitutionally can't keep.
Republican senator Ben Sasse calls the president's
executive actions "unconstitutional slop."
Damn. Unconstitutional slop.
I thought that's what they called
the in-flight meals on Spirit Airlines.
Spirit Airlines.
The real joke is, we don't serve meals.
But you got to give it to Trump, man.
He knows that Congress is so gridlocked
that they can make even him look good.
Because, you see, it doesn't matter
if his executive orders are illegal
or toothless or completely unworkable.
He understands that even the appearance
of doing something is better than the appearance
of going on recess in the middle of a recession,
which is what Congress is doing.
Although Congress will tell you that they aren't on recess.
Yeah, apparently, they're just at home.
But they'll come back if there's a deal,
which there won't be because they're not working.
But they're not on recess, so don't call it "recess."
They're just not working, which is not recess.
It's just... ho-home thing.
And don't get me wrong.
Some of these ideas that Trump proposed are actually good ones.
I mean, suspending student loan payments
makes a lot of sense right now,
and banning evictions is a great idea.
Even though I'm pretty sure that Trump only wants that
because he thinks it means
that he can't get kicked out of the White House.
But as for these other ideas, Trump has just created a mess.
Right? He wants to extend unemployment insurance,
but even if he can convince a court
that he's allowed to do that without Congress,
it only works if states agree to foot part of the bill.
And by freezing the payroll tax, he's either gonna hit people
with a huge bill when it's unfrozen,
or he might have to cut Social Security,
because it gets its money from the payroll tax.
So in many ways,
Trump's executive orders are like those coupons that you get.
You know, where it says the good news in big letters.
"Free value meal."
But then on the bottom in small print, it says...
So, once again, President Trump has tried to solve a problem,
and ended up creating a bigger mess.
But if you're wondering whether he thinks he's doing a good job,
well, here's one indication.
President Trump may be pushing
to have his face added to Mount Rushmore.
The president has been public
about his admiration of the monument.
He spoke there during the July 4th weekend.
Now the New York Times says the White House reached out
to South Dakota's governor last year,
asking about the process of adding presidents.
The governor is quoted as saying,
"The president has expressed sincere interest in the idea."
That's right.
Trump thinks that he deserves to be on Mount Rushmore.
And honestly, I agree with him.
I think we should put Trump on Mount Rushmore.
But not a carving.
I think we should actually
put him on Mount Rushmore.
No phone, no Internet.
Problem solved.
Actually, I wouldn't even mind
Trump's face being carved into Mount Rushmore, you know,
just as long as they choose the right picture.
Because there are a lot of Trump faces that I could get behind.
You know, like, how about,
trying-to-catch-a-baseball Trump, or
hair-blowing-in-the-wind Trump?
And who says it has to be a face, you know? Let's just throw
Trump's tennis ass up there, huh?
The point is, this could be the monument
that finally brings all of America together.
Because liberals will look up at Mount Rushmore and be like,
"Look at that ass."
And conservatives will look up and be like,
"Ooh, look at that ass."
Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go,
there are a lot of groups out there right now
who are working to protect and advance voting rights
for the elections in November.
One of those organizations is
the Alliance for Youth Organizing,
which is a national network of local youth-led organizations
mobilizing people to vote.
If you can help them and you would like to join
in their cause, then please visit the link below
and donate whatever you can.