Today I'm going to talk about something that scares me probably more than spiders, my fear
of heights, zombie attacks, you name it, cause I'm going to talk about babies. And specifically
me having one.
So a couple of weeks ago @weedaoneable said, 'I'm 14 and am often told that I will change
my mind, but I have never been kids person and don't find their company to be enjoyable
so I don't fancy myself carrying one,' all caps, 'INSIDE MY UTERUS and caring for it
for 18 years.' That is a long time. 'I plan to go into a science career as well,' really
cool, 'so having a child could hinder those plans. I get a lot of crap from people when
I tell them I feel this.' Lets talk about babies or more precisely not wanting babies
which is called child-free by choice. The downside of not wanting to have kids is that
you are probably going to get crap whether you are 14 like @weedaoneable or my age or
older because I don't think that there is probably a time in a woman's life when people
stop asking her, 'Do you want kids? Do you have kids? Why don't you have kids? Whattup
with that womb?' I don't think anyone actually asks, 'Whattup with that womb?' Seems like
our reproductive status is everybody's business for some strange reason. And there are a lot
of off-base negative stereotypes about women in particular who say that they don't want
kids, specifically that they're selfish shrews who couldn't possibly make room in their lives
for teeny-tiny little babies and who wouldn't want a baby? You don't want a baby? At some
point, these people would say, your maternity instinct is going to come on like a pilot
light and all of your being will be consumed by wanting to have a baby because that is
what happens to plenty of women. People also seem to forget that that doesn't happen to
every single woman. And just because one of the biological functions of the female sex
is to be able to produce children, it is not our moral duty to do so. And I've also seen
arguments about how oh well the birth rate in the United States is lower than it's ever
been before, which is true. I'm really not concerned about there not being enough Americans
to produce goods, then consume goods and keep all of the wheels of capitalism a-churning
because last time I checked there are about 330 million people, that should be okay, I
don't think that our union will simply dissolve. The good news is 'child free by choice' is
becoming more of a mainstream term. There was actually a cover story in Time magazine
about it a couple of weeks ago and I think possibly due to the internet and communities
that are built that way that it is gaining more visibility and more acceptance. So you
might be wondering, well Cristen what about you? What are your thoughts on this whole
thing? I am to be completely honest with you 100% ambivalent. If someone were to walk up
to me today and say, 'Cristen, you got to have a baby right now or you're never going
to have a baby ever, ever,' I would probably honestly say I'm fine with never having a
baby. I don't know that a few years I might want kids, right now I can't see where the
money would come from to take care of said child. So while I haven't ruled out the possibility
that it could happen, I'm certainly not banging down Professor Boyfriend's door to start a
family, ASAP. So if you're wondering what to say if someone is trying to convince you
that you will want to have a kid or that you not wanting to have a kid is not the right
decision, I think maybe you could just ask them, 'Why are you so interested in the state
of my womb?' What impact on their life you having a child would have. I bet they wouldn't
be able to answer. This isn't just something that effects women, I mean there are plenty
of men out there who don't want kids as well and I think their choice is just as valid
as a woman's choice to not want kids. Really looking forward to hearing what people have
to say in the comments, are you someone who is child free by choice or do you know someone,
does it make you uncomfortable or have you ever said that you don't want kids and gotten
flack for it? Lets start a conversation per usual in the comments.