It's late at night and you're sitting on your couch enjoying a scary movie- or at least,
trying not to jump out of your skin at every big scare.
The dark shadows seem to press in all around you this late at night, and you think you
see something move outside the window from the corner of your eye.
Probably just your eyes playing tricks on you, but then suddenly, your phone rings.
Confused you look at your phone, not sure who could be calling you but also kind of
annoyed because seriously, who even calls on a phone anymore?
You ignore the call and let it go to voicemail, but then your phone lights up with a text
and the question: do you like scary movies?
Well, you think to yourself, that's a pretty self-explanatory question given what you're
watching right now, but then another text comes in, saying simply “I can see you!”.
With a chill running down your spine you look up and there he is, the legendary hacker and
slasher, Ghostface, standing in front of your window with his signature hunting knife in
hand.
So you're being stalked by a deranged maniac who takes his inspiration from an Edvard Munch
painting and loves nothing more than killing high school and college students- how are
you going to win this fight to the death?
Ghostface as mentioned got his name from the rubber Halloween mask he wears, which is itself
inspired by the Edvard Munch painting, The Scream.
He enjoys nothing more than calling his victims over the phone and then taunting them, letting
them know that he's always close by and reveling in their fear.
He's even been known to subject victims to a terrible game of horror movie trivia, and
if they get an answer wrong, it's typically lights out for someone they love.
Originally Ghostface was in fact two separate individuals, who sought revenge on a teen
girl because her mother had an affair with one of the two's father and drove his mother
away.
Not long after the original slasher duo, a second duo took up the identity of Ghostface
again, this time the mother of one of the previous killers and a university student
who sought the fame of being Ghostface.
Eventually though the two killers have a falling out, leading to one shooting the other and
giving the heroes an opportunity to escape and ultimately prevail.
Ghostface would return two more times though, and each time the killers are always someone
unexpected, and typically end up trying to murder each other.
As far as powers go, Ghostface has had so many identities that the killer has no set
skills or abilities to pin down.
Ghostface is ultimately just a very deranged person in a mask, so this time there's no
supernatural threats or abilities to contend with, which is kind of nice after us putting
you up against all sorts of monsters, aliens, and other super-baddies.
However, the one thing all the Ghostface killers share is an appetite for violence, and an
unmatched savagery.
Ghostface does not hesitate to kill, and in a way such a willingness to commit violence
is a superpower all its own.
Also, Ghostface is pretty stealthy, and not only is he, or she, able to hide in plain
sight while not wearing the mask, but while stalking prey Ghostface is always extremely
sneaky and very talented at finding places to ambush victims from.
The greatest threat Ghostface brings though is the fact that typically Ghost face is the
person you would least expect, and the fact that there's always two of them.
This allows them to attack each other and throw off suspicion by the rest of the group,
until ultimately it's too late.
Also given the fact that there's always two Ghostfaces, you're pretty much going into
a two-on-one fight this time.
For weaknesses, well Ghostface is pretty much just an average person, so anything that will
harm or kill a normal person will do Ghostface in.
Ghostface's biggest weakness however is the fact that given enough time, the two killers
who play the role will always turn on each other.
So if you can survive long enough the duo Ghostfaces will eventually do half your job
for you as one kills the other.
So, you're one on two against the late 90's hacking and slashing duo- how are you going
to win this fight?
First, you need to take inventory of your social life.
Who have you accidentally upset in your recent past?
Has your mother had an affair with anyone in the last year or two?
Did you suddenly encounter a huge murder and/or horror movie buff who is full of trivia about
every horror movie franchise in the world?
We hate to break it to you, but one of the two behind Ghostface's identity is always
going to be someone close to you, and the other is typically a complete stranger that
suddenly and very conveniently becomes a part of your life.
You're going to want to take some tips from the CIA and their counter-intelligence experts,
and start to pay very close attention to the people around you.
Watch them carefully and look for subtle changes in their personality which might indicate
they're holding back the mental stress of being a secret killer.
The CIA's best spy hunters are world renowned for their ability to sniff spies out by meticulously
learning every single nuance of a suspect's life, and then sitting back and carefully
observing them over a period of time.
People are creatures of habit, and being a double agent can put a lot of mental stress
on an individual, and this stress can make itself manifest in frustrating or scary moments.
So who around you has suddenly changed, even just minor habits?
Did your best friend use to chew their nails and now they've suddenly stopped?
Could be Ghostface.
Your sister go on a diet so she can enjoy her hot girl summer- fat chance, she's probably
a killer.
Your cousin get diagnosed with liver disease and now has to change their entire lifestyle
so their liver doesn't die?
Nice try, but he or she is probably just covering up for the fact that they're secretly trying
to murder you.
We realize this is starting to border on paranoia, but seriously, Ghostface could be anybody
close to you, and until the stabbing starts there's typically no way of finding out.
The first thing you're going to do is get yourself somewhere secure.
Ghostface is going to start picking off some of your friends, so decide which of your friends
you really like and which are expendable, and then those that you really like and you
are going to hide out in a secure location.
An in-home panic room is a great choice, as the doors are bulletproof and typically resistant
to explosions as well, and can safely accommodate you for days at a time if need be.
Spending a few days in your panic room with your friend worth saving will give Ghostface
an opportunity to work through the mandatory murders of secondary characters before getting
to the main character- you.
And listen, we know you should try and save all your friends, but like we said, Ghostface
needs time to work through killing off secondary characters.
It's just the rules of the game, so get it together and decide which friends are absolutely
worth keeping around, because you're going to have to sacrifice a few.
The ultimate point of letting Ghostface run around terrorizing your sacrificial friends
is because eventually, and very inevitably, one Ghostface will turn on the other.
Seriously, it always happens and is totally predictable, so just sit tight, make plans
to attend a few funerals, and let Ghostface do half your job for you.
Once the second Ghostface is dead though, it's now time to go mano-a-mano, so no more
hiding in your panic room.
Also you really should leave because the toilet facilities in these things tend to backup
pretty quickly.
So now it's you and the one remaining Ghostface.
At this point, you need to brace yourself because inevitably this Ghostface will pull
off their mask and launch into a miniature monologue as they reveal that they're your
long lost half-brother, or cousin, or whatever, and they totally want to kill you because
of something you or one of your parents inadvertently did a long time ago.
We know it's tedious, but you gotta sit through it- again, them's the rules.
Once the monologue is over though, it's finally time for the final showdown.
Ghostface is going to come full speed at you and try to get all stabby.
Surprise for him, or her, though, because unlike every victim in the Scream franchise,
you've been preparing for the killer who keeps stalking you down and under your clothes you're
wearing a second-chance vest.
These are tactical armored vests which are rated to protect the wearer from small caliber
firearms, and were quite popular with police forces until more durable and better protected
body armor came along.
They got their name because of the 'second chance' at life that they gave you, which
also hinted at the fact that you really shouldn't be trying to stop more than one bullet with
these things.
In this case though, all you need to do is stop a knife, and that's something a second
chance vest can easily do.
Ranging around $500, you can pick up one of these bad boys from just about any online
survival retailer.
Plus because they are so thin, you can easily wear one under a sweatshirt and not give it
away.
Imagine the dumb look on Ghostface's... well, face, when they stab down and their knife
gets stuck on your armored vest.
At this point taking down Ghostface is as easy as zapping him, or her, with your StunMaster
Runt.
At just $15, this bad boy packs 20 million volts and can easily be concealed up your
sleeve thanks to a handy wrist loop.
With 20 million volts of electricity coursing through Ghostface's body, the famous serial
killer is going to start dancing the electric boogalo, and you've got your hand on the switch.
Just try and make sure ghostface isn't touching the metal of the knife, or there's a good
chance that even through the vest you're going to be sharing in some of that nasty voltage
yourself.
You did it.
You defeated Ghostface.
Now all you have to do is wait a few years for a second duo of killers to come after
you, because your life is now a mediocre 90's movie franchise that refuses to die.
How would you take out Ghostface?
What other epic matchup do you want to see?
Let us know in the comments and be sure to share this video with your friend worth saving,
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