{Guitar Music Intro}
{Uptempo Guitar music with clapping sounds}
{Uptempo Guitar music}
{clapping and cheering sounds} Something smells good.
That'll be the bacon Jeffy baby. Are you wearing bacon sented perfume?
Best stay away from the dog then. {laughs}
Oh! It's a great idea. Why didn't I think of that.
I'm in marketing after all. No silly, bacon scented bacon. Bacon scented bacon,
That's even better. Aww, what will those guys think of next.
What am I gonna do with this man of mine. I'll tell you what your gonna do,
Your gonna plant a big wet one on the lips of this man of yours.
{Kiss sound}
I sure wish I didn't have to go into work today. Didn't I say, your boss called, you can work from home today.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? We trim the bushes? I'll trim your busy alright. Good.
Lets take Rover out for a walk. Ohhh, one of these days Betty, I'm going to punch you in the face.
If this marriage doesn't kill me, the prosaz will. {canned laughter sounds}
What marriage, I've been banging the secretary behind your back.
{Loud slap sound}
Uptempo Music with Male Singer}
{Low bass Guitar music link}
Something smells good.
No Rover! Look I didn't mean for you to find out like this. Yeah I didn't mean for you to find out at all.
and that makes it better. No, it's.. Oh my god Jeff, she was your tennis partner. I'm so humilated.
Oh shit! Are you joking? It took you long enough didn't it, you could smell the cheating off of him.
Jeff, you rascal. If it's any consolation, at the tennis courts, we kept things strictly business.
What about things at the office? How do you keep things there? Strictly doggy style alright!
It was just you know a joke like doggy style dog. You can't put all this on me.
What! Yeah, what Jeff? Your the one nailing the secretary. The constant drinking.
popping those pills, you haven't worked in ever!
Life with you Betty is miserable. He has got a point Betty. Your retort?
If it's that bad, leave! Hell yeah, what do you think I'm going do, huh. You think I want to stay
here and work at us. We haven't been on track for a long time. Then go, I'll have my stuff packed up and I'll be out by the end of the week.
Good. You can that ugly smelly mut with you. {cough} Fine by me.
Looks like it's us two, Jeffy boy. Two hound dogs chasing tail in the big bad world.
I'm going to pack that one stick I like. You know I only got him because of you, I'm allergic to the bloody beast!
You're keeping him. Wait, what! allergic. Take him to the pound, I don't care.
Guys, I can shave or wash, I can definetely wash more.
I need some air.
You wouldn't have to walk me everyday. I like your shoes. Are they new? I promise not to chew on them
or even pee in them. This is awkward.
{Guitar music interlude}
Look, I know you see me holding this plastic bag but don't you get any ideas okay!
I'm not asking you to pick it up Jeff! Leave it there for all I care. In fact, I want someone to step on it.
God, can you imagine if she saw me picking it up.
Jennifer! Oh Jeff, your a real piece of shit you know that. Hi, I'm so glad you could make it.
I've got some wonderful news. Me and Betty we're... Oh my god! You brought your dog, like so amazing!
Oh yeah. Rover. Aww he's so adorable. I am adorable, look how I tilt my head sideways and look confused.
I sure do love this little guy. You tried to throw me in the canal several times on the drive over here, Jeff and you said the only reason you didn't
is because the very thought of picking me up makes you itch. But Jennifer, seriously, there's no hanging around after hours in the office.
Oh Oh! we have to introduce you to Misty. Misty over here! Misty! Jenn has a very special man she would like you to meet.
Very special, I didn't know you felt that way, I mean I fell so nervous. I've been thinking about this for days.
Misty, I want you to meet Rover.
{Uptempo sexy music}
Rover? how cliche
More of a nickname really. My friends, they call me Mr Doctor, yeah Doctor Quinn, I'm a medicine.. no look you can call me Mr
Doctor, Mr Doctor Doc, Mr Doctor Dog, whatever! It doesn't even matter, names aren't even important.
I like my name. Sure, it's a nice name. Names are important. You actually left her? I didn yeah.
I did it for you. I did it all for you. I thought we were just having a bit of fun.
This is so boring! Aw yeah especially when you arrive at the park this late, all the good sticks are gone,
there's no squirrels to chase, it's like urgh yawn.
Hey, do you want to see me take a shit? What? I can just take a shit anywhere and Jeff has to pick it up with his hands!
Maybe next time.
Anyway, we'll talk about this another time Jeff but I really should be getting back to work now. Yeah cool sure.
Bye then. Drive safe, I love you.
Well, I think that went pretty well don't you. You really are completely useless.
Would someone completely useless be able to lick his own.. haha check it out.
I'll get it, I'll get it! The sooner we get you to the pound, the better. What! You'll never take me alive Jeff.
You think I can't run away from home. Think I can't find my own toilet bowl to drink out of. They don't call me Rover the wonder dog
who can live off the land and become a massive success despite only being a dog
for nothing you know. I don't need you. {Spit noise}
You tell them Rover! Aw Bobby my dog!
Man, they are kicking me out! all because they're breaking up.
Can you believe that? Yeah it's messed up, real messed up.
Do you have any idea how much weight I pull in this park?
ahuh, Bobby, can you concentrate. Sorry, it's that frisby isn't it? Distracting.
Do you want me to call in the boys? Yeah, in fact initialise operation SAW.
You want us to poo at will? Yeah, I want this place to be like a bloody minefield.
It's a wee bit severe don't you think? No, they've got to pay.
Then they'll definitely kick you out. And? and I don't think you would much care for that.
What are you talking about? I came from the streets.
Yeah once. Now look at you, eats from a bowl! Oh look at me I had a bath last year!
Ha! survive the streets, a dog collar wearer, mother like humper like you.
I doubt it. I suppose you've got a point. Of course I've got a point.
My point is this, you've got to get this family back together. whatever it takes, you do it!
You don't want to end up out here again. You're right.
Of course I'm right. You're the wisest dog I know. Agreed.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to snatch that frisby and runabout with it in my mouth for awhile.
Trumpet Music
I know things aren't exactly great with you guys at the moment but
I've been on a journey, I met a really wise dog and some mental squirrels!
and we all put our heads together and we came up with this.
Squeaky Toy Sound, Right!
Trumpet Uptempo Music, It's a Dogs Life TV Comedy Pilot - Visual Anarchy Production - Edinburgh Napier University TV Pilot