Every day, it feels like members of the Trump administration
embarrass themselves on camera.
Senate Republicans, on the other hand, are smart.
They try only to embarrass themselves behind closed doors.
A trick that the Democrats have noticed.
There's new controversy over the Republican's push
to overhaul healthcare.
With GOP lawmakers crafting it in secret,
Democrats staged an overnight protest on Capitol Hill.
TV REPORTER:
threatening to delay all business unless Republicans
open up their healthcare talks to the public.
The Republicans are writing their healthcare bill
under the cover of darkness because they're ashamed of it.
It is an insult to the history and the traditions of this body.
So I say to the Republican leadership,
what are you afraid of?
Bring that bill out.
(crying): Bernie.
Bernie.
(crying): Bernie.
(cheering and applause)
I miss his passion.
He's so passionate about everything.
"Bring that bill out."
He probably says that in restaurants all the time.
"Bring that bill out.
Stop being a coward and bring out that bill."
But that's what happened yesterday.
Democratic senators took over the floor
to denounce the Republicans' healthcare bill,
instead of what they usually do at night,
which is dreaming that a super-ripped Barack Obama
has brought them Trump's tax returns.
Totally different evening for them.
But the Democrats are right to be upset, right?
This is legislation that will affect
tens of millions of lives.
And Republican lawmakers are writing it in total secret.
There have been no hearings, no debates,
nobody knows almost anything about it.
And this is about national healthcare.
And yet the Republicans are treating it the same way
a high-schooler treats jacking off in his room.
Like America's banging away on the door, going, like,
"Hey, what are you doing in there?! What are you doing?"
Like, "Nothing! Nothing! Nothing."
"Are you doing what I think you're doing?"
"No! I'm not ashamed at all.
"Don't come in! Don't come in!
Med-i-caid ..."
(laughter)
What are you doing in there?
Now, now, because Republicans are the majority in Congress,
Democrats have very few cards to play.
The only thing that they can really do
is take a page out of the Republican's book, all right?
And you look at eight years ago,
when they had to drum up opposition to Obamacare,
the Republicans got really creative with the truth.
The Democrat plan for healthcare reform
amounts to a government takeover of healthcare in this country.
It's gonna give free health insurance
to illegal aliens.
It's going to end up rationing healthcare.
Over 30% of American physicians would leave the profession.
Uses our tax money to allow people to kill themselves.
Tell you how you're gonna die.
They will die in line.
Put to death by their government.
One in five people have to die
because they went to socialized medicine.
That's right!
That's not the government's business.
We
when we're finally ready to let her go.
Or when we really need to charge our phone,
whichever one comes first.
Grandma, I know you're on three percent,
but I'm on one.
Oh, she's gone.
But, uh, you see, all that...
I love that you applauded for that.
Like, "Yeah, death selfie."
But, you see, all that, uh, death panel,
suicide, scary made-up (bleep)?
That's what changes people's minds.
It's why Republicans did it. All right?
That's what Democrats needed.
They needed to bring that to us last night.
And I'll give them this: they tried.
But it just wasn't the same.
If your house needs repairs,
you don't set the house on fire.
Something that a villain in a novel
by Charles Dickens would say.
This has been called the vampire bill,
the Republican vampire bill. Why?
Because the writers of it--
the secret 13 writers--
they're afraid for the bill to see the light of day.
And it's called the vampire bill because its general intent
is to suck the life out of the healthcare system
for struggling families.
Oh...
No, senator, I-I know you're trying to scare the people,
but it's not working.
First of all, vampires don't have that reputation anymore.
Now they're sparkly and cool. You know?
People don't want to run from them, they want to (bleep) them.
And secondly, you've got to work on your delivery.
Your style would suck at the campfire.
And then it turns out the call
is actually originating--
n-now, remember, this is land lines--
the call is not
coming from outside the house.
It's actually... Because the bad guy, you see, he happens...
It's not scary enough.
Now, don't get me wrong, the Democrats have done
a pretty good job of presenting the factual argument
against Trumpcare. And the numbers back this up.
Only 17% of Americans support Trumpcare.
17%. That is a horrible...
Even Vegas would be like, "Those are bad numbers, man.
That is some (bleep) numbers."
Like, if the numbers are so bad, then why do the Democrats
seem to be having such a hard time
bringing a stop to this thing?
Well, I argue that if they're gonna
nail the coffin on this thing, Democrats just have to add
more emotion to the Trumpcare numbers.
That's how you scare off Republicans.
You scare them off this thing for good.
And what makes a great scary story
is all the things you don't know, right?
Republicans have made it easy.
The bill's already a secret.
All you need is the numbers.
A flashlight, some alternative facts...
and you've got a horror story on your hands.
Here, here, I'll show you. I'll show you.
Chuck, give me... give me, like, a scary background
and some-some effects. Can we change...
Ah, there we go, yeah. Yeah.
-♪ ♪ -This is how you should have been on the floor.
Have you heard the tale of Trumpcare?
Crafted in a secret ancient house
on Capitol Hill.
They said it would throw 23 million people
off healthcare and premiums would rise!
By, like, 700% or something. Like, a really big number.
The secret Republican bill would also make it mandatory
for everyone to wear a catheter!
Oh, but I don't have a urine problem.
Too bad!
Open your pee-pee hole.
And, scariest of all,
under Trumpcare, every American
would have to share one pharmacist:
Bill Cosby!
(cackles)
Now, uh, this might just be a tall tale,
but until Republicans release it,
we'll never know.
Never know. (cackles)