Well, as parents, we obviously want our children to thrive in every season.
And while there's no way to predict every situation they're going to be in,
there are some ways to try to prepare them for the road ahead.
And in fact, one of my favorite parenting mottos is,
“Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.”
So it's really important, I think, for us as parents to have a pulse
on the realities that teenagers today are facing
and to think about how we can equip them for that road.
So with that in mind, there are some things
we can teach our daughters just to prepare them for the road ahead.
First of all, I think it's
really important to make sure they know that we're on their side,
even as we're giving them rules or boundaries
or just trying to set some parameters to protect them
that they may not understand.
Also, let them know that, you know, especially once the kids turn 16,
you can start the night in a totally innocent place,
but just being in the car with somebody end up somewhere
you don't want to be or somewhere you're not supposed to be.
And just really having that relationship in place, knowing that,
you know, telling your child, my number one priority is your safety.
And don't ever worry about getting in trouble with me.
You know, even if I'm upset, I will get over it.
But what I would I never would get over is something happening to you
or one of your friends.
And so really just establishing that up front
that you can call me no matter what.
I would come rescue you from the seediest part of town.
That my love for you is bigger than any mistake or misstep that you can take.
I think it's also important for our children
to think about what I call the five second decisions.
And those are those moments that we even face as parents.
It’s, you know, all of a sudden you've got five seconds to make a decision.
And, you know, helping our daughter see that it might be there at a party
and all of a sudden somebody is offering them a drink
and everybody's awkwardly waiting for them to answer.
And they've got five seconds to make that decision.
But just think about it ahead of time and just think, OK,
if you're not really sure, then don't do it.
And to get through the awkwardness, like if you you know, if you take it,
it's not going to end well.
And if you don't, it's going to be awkward,
but people will get over it.
Just to push through that and know that God will honor
those choices that please him and that He will lead you down the right
roads and bring the right people into your life in due time.
Sometimes life is awkward, and no matter what
choices you make, you're going to have people ridicule you.
Whether you're making good choices or poor choices,
you're going to be labeled and called some things.
So you might as well make choices that help you feel good about yourself
and it help you be at peace
with yourself and also strengthen your your relationship with Jesus.
Something else I think is really, really important to talk about
with our children, especially in the teenage years,
is mental health and how important their mental health is.
I have such a heart for this generation
that's coming up and just the pressures and expectations they face.
They I mean, they're expected to be superstars at everything they attempt.
They're expected to carry a know huge course load and to be,
you know, the star at every extra extracurricular activity they do.
And it's just not feasible. And they're crashing.
And the ones that
don't feel like they measure up, I mean, I know kids with a three point eight GPA
and they feel like dummies because they're comparing themselves
to their peers who have a four point six or four point seven. It’s very distorted,
but that's the world they're growing up in.
And in addition to that, there's all these social pressures
and social challenges they're going through.
I get a lot of emails, moms concerned about
friendship issues that their daughters are going through.
The number one message I get is the daughter's
been suddenly outed by her friend group.
She truly has no friends to hang with.
And so really just protecting their mental health and just teaching them
to protect their mental health, that if they're not in a good place,
if they're really not in a good place mentally, emotionally, spiritually
or physically, then it may be time to scale back on their activities.
It may be time to take a lighter course load.
You know, it's not worth it
if things are affecting their health to really prioritize their health
and especially their mental health, how they're looking at the world.
I think it's really important to talk to our teenagers about good friends.
There's a saying that,
you know, “Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.”
And that basically means that, you know, the type of friends you choose determine
what kind of environment you'll be in.
For girls, it means what kind of friendship she'll have.
If you choose mean friends, you're
probably going to have a lot of drama and stress in your life.
Chances are those mean girls are probably going to be friends with mean guys.
So the guys you date may also not be the best character or quality.
So it really does matter to choose those good friends and healthy influences.
And when they don't exist to you know, if you're struggling, if you can't find
those healthy influences, are those good friends,
then just to really lean into your faith and know that that's
the upside of any challenge we go through, is it shows us
we can't put our our value and our worth and our faith in these earthly things
that we love so much that ultimately we've got to put God
number one and just trust Him to carry us through those lonely seasons
and pray for good people and friends to come into their lives.
And, you know, sometimes
when our children do go through
those lonely seasons, that's how they learn to be a kind friend.
That's how they learn to notice the person who's sitting by themselves.
Long term, it really can bring some blessings, having gone through that dry
spell, that lonely season.
So just letting our teenagers know that none of that is a waste,
you know, in this, in
the road ahead, they're going to have lots of ups and downs,
but it really is through
those missteps that they're going to learn the best life lessons.
I think it's important for our children to know for the road ahead is just Jesus
that, you know, nothing is going to help them like a relationship with Jesus.
And like I said, everything can let them down.
And for parents, it's really hard to see them struggle,
but the fact is, our kids, they're not going to believe us that
their friends can drop them overnight.
They're not going to believe that their girlfriend
can break up with them overnight
or their boyfriend can break up with them overnight,
or that they won't make the team or these things that they tend
to put on the pedestal and make an idol in their life.
They might not believe that they can lose it suddenly until it happens.
But the upside of those situations is those are the moments
that really bring us to our knees and strengthen our faith
or have the potential to strengthen our faith .
So really teaching our teenagers
that, you know, your identities
and Jesus, nobody can take that identity away from you.
It doesn't matter if you are on a team that's that's not your identity.
That's just something you're doing right now
and just really developing their strength and knowing that it is through those
valleys of life, that their faith will be strengthened
and that they will be more empowered to walk with Christ in the future.