-Republicans immediately started
attacking President Biden for high gas prices
after he announced a ban on Russian energy imports,
while Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky
bravely defied an increasingly isolated
and desperate Vladimir Putin.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]
Authoritarian regimes depend
on stifling the flow of information
and creating alternate realities
and that can even apply to the autocrats themselves.
In fact, dictators often occupy their own alternate realities,
which seems to be what's happening with Vladimir Putin.
He's the only person in the world who seems
to think this is a good idea, this horrific war,
and he's increasingly isolated from outside voices,
both figuratively and literally.
He makes even his highest-ranking officials sit
at the other end of a giant room
[ Laughter ] in televised meetings and,
even when they sit at the same table,
he chooses the longest table [ Laughter ]
he can possibly find. I mean, what's that about?
It looks like he's playing shuffleboard in a college bar.
[ Laughter ]
Next, he's going to make them meet
in the pods from "Love Is Blind."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Russian accent ] Vlad, why are you upset?
Both Jessica and Lisa said you are their number one.
[ As Putin ] Yes, but I cannot tell
if they said that because they like me
or because they are required to say it by law.
[ Laughter ]
The point is Putin is clearly isolated,
even from his top officials.
In fact, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky
is defying Putin by doing the exact opposite.
He posted a video of himself in his office,
revealing his location earlier this week,
despite the fact that Putin is after him.
-Just moments ago, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky
posted this video on Facebook.
It's the first time he's been seen in his official office
since Russia invaded his country,
Zelensky saying, at the top of the video,
"I'm staying in Kyiv, in my office.
I'm not hiding and I'm not afraid of anyone."
-Damn, that is incredibly brave.
I don't even let our cue card guy, Wally,
you know where I am until the show starts.
[ Laughter ] He's always trying to get me
to invest in his new line of Wallmark greeting cards.
[ Laughter ] -Seth, we have cards
for every occasion -- birthdays, holidays.
-No one wants to invest in this idea!
-Why? -The cards are too big!
-We provide the envelope. -We will have this conversation later!
[ Laughter ]
-Sounds like someone just went
from a no to a maybe.
[ Laughter ] -Wally!
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, Putin, very clearly, is living in a bubble
and he wants everyone else to join him in that bubble.
His regime has been cracking down on independent media,
rounding up protesters by the thousands,
and passed a law making it illegal
to call Russia's invasion of Ukraine a war.
-Tonight, inside Russia,
the president signing a new law passed by parliament,
making it illegal to distribute
so-called false information about the military operation.
Calling the operation in Ukraine
an invasion or a war could be illegal.
Breaking the law could result in up to 15 years in prison.
-That's right, they're not even allowed to call it
a war or invasion anymore.
In fact, the list of Kremlin-approved phrases includes...
...and, of course... [ Laughter ]
So Putin is isolated, unhinged, and disconnected from reality,
if he thinks it's going to end well.
The Russian economy is being squeezed
by intense international sanctions
and the global condemnation has been swift and all-encompassing.
Russia's essentially been cut off
from the global financial system.
Russian oligarchs are having their yachts and villas seized,
major American companies are suspending
their business in Russia and, on top of all that,
President Biden announced yesterday
that the U.S. would ban all Russian energy imports,
which might make this a good time to pause and acknowledge
how insane it is that we continue to buy oil
from brutal regimes, like Russia and Saudi Arabia,
as Democratic Senator Chris Murphy
pointed out yesterday.
-Let's just admit the insanity
of a U.S. economy that continues to run
on oil that is provided to us by dictators.
The reality is, if we're not getting this oil from Russia,
we're likely going to be importing more
from another brutal dictator -- in Saudi Arabia, for instance.
Or we may have to go to Venezuela for oil.
We should ultimately learn our lesson here
and become energy-independent and choose to invest
in clean domestic energy, so we never have to choose
between one dictator versus another.
-Yeah, I mean, wouldn't it be nice
if we could generate our own clean energy
through renewable sources, like wind and solar,
instead of begging murderous crazy people not to gouge us?
Then, at least, we'd never have to watch
another U.S. president hold a weird, glowing orb
and do a sword dance with Saudi royals,
[ Laughter ] like he's auditioning
for a non-flipping role in Cirque du Soleil.
[ Laughter ] I will give them credit for one thing --
they found a way to make Trump look even dumber
than he normally looks, just bobbing his head, [ Laughter ]
wagging around a limp sword like a wet pool noodle.
[ Laughter ]
They should just keep giving him
increasingly stupid tasks
and telling him he had to do it
to please the Saudi royal family.
"Alright, Mr. President, and now,
we shall commence the dance of the butterfly."
[ As Trump ] Alright, but why am I...
[ Laughter ]
...why am I the only one in wings, guys?
[ Laughter and applause ]
Living in a world where we derive our energy
from clean, renewable sources would be so much better,
for so many obvious reasons,
including the fact that it would take power away
from repressive, oil-based dictatorships.
Right now, they have far too much power
over both global and domestic politics
because, as you've probably noticed,
gas prices hit a record high this week.
The numbers are so shocking,
I drove by a station that had...
...on the sign. [ Laughter ]
Both Republicans and Democrats had called on Biden
to ban Russian energy -- both parties --
and yet, you probably won't be shocked to learn
that Republicans also attacked him for high gas prices,
like Tennessee Senator Marsha Blackburn,
who tweeted...
That's true.
And, famously,
that was the only thing happening in 2020.
[ Laughter and applause ]
The low gas year, as we called it.
[ Laughter ]
I'm just spitballing here,
but maybe low gas prices had something to do
with the fact that we were all trapped in our homes
and no one was going anywhere.
Price goes down when demand goes down.
That's why you can get a DVD player for like $11 now
or a Wallmark card for free.
[ Laughter ]
Not now!
[ Laughter ] It's easy to lower gas prices
when no one is using gas to commute or travel
or fly on airplanes.
That's like presiding over a zombie apocalypse
and bragging that...
[ Laughter ]
But, yeah, now that you mention it,
I do remember when I was fleeing the city
to avoid a highly contagious respiratory virus
that decimated the U.S. economy and trapped everyone
in their homes without toilet paper,
not knowing if their jobs would ever come back
or their families would survive,
looking up at the gas prices and thinking,
"Wow, $2.17 a gallon."
[ Laughter ]
"Thank you, President Trump."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Just to clear a few things up,
Biden has actually outpaced Trump
in issuing drilling permits,
despite promising to end new drilling on federal land.
Also, it's worth noting that oil companies profits soared
to $174 billion in 2021.
Chevron, alone, raked in over $15 billion
in annual profits and, in February,
BP reported its highest profit in eight years.
Maybe they could use some of that money
to lower gas prices, instead of stock buybacks
or shooting glossy commercials full
of healthy-looking sea turtles,
or, at the very least,
they could pay for some better programing
on those damn gas station TV screens.
[ Laughter ] I mean, what kind of low-rent TV show agrees
to be shown on the outside of a gas pump?
Good evening, I'm Seth Meyers. This is "Late Night."
[ Laughter ] We hope you're doing well tonight
and, now, we are going to get to the news.
Damn it! I forgot we made that deal.
[ Laughter ]
Even worse, when we made it, they said,
"We can pay you in gas or Slim Jims,"
and I yelled, "Slim Jims!" [ Laughter ]
I mean, I was thinking, if anything was due
to have a price hike, you know...
[ Laughter ] At some point, they're going to run out of Jims.
[ Laughter ] So the GOP complaints about gas prices
are obviously cynical, hollow politics
and, by far, the dumbest example came
from Colorado Congresswoman Lauren Boebert
on Fox News last night,
when she tried to slam the Biden administration,
but seemed to lose her train of thought.
-Here's Biden's energy policy -- anyone but America.
OPEC, Venezuela, you name it.
If it's not American energy, Joe doesn't want it.
Jesse, under President Trump, America became net --
a net energy exporter for the first time in decades
and became the world's number one producer in oil.
President Trump unleashed our energy potential.
So I say we should be relying on our guys to do the work,
not OPEC.
And I don't know who's running
the federal government, these days,
Joe Biden or Prince John from, uh,
Prince John.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
You know, Prince John, from Prince John.
[ Laughter ]
In all seriousness -- and I want to be charitable here
because she's a member of Congress
and an elected official, so, even if we disagree,
I want to engage with her in good faith --
here's my sincere and honest question --
What the [bleep] are you talking about?
[ Laughter and applause ]
That was like when you're watching a movie with your mom
and she says, "Hey, it's that guy from 'Goodfellas,'"
and you say, "Yeah, we're watching 'Goodfellas.'"
[ Laughter ]
I mean, just to try and figure out
what she might be talking about, I Googled "Prince John"
and this was on the first page of results.
-This crown gives me a feeling [ Laughter and applause ]
of power!
Power!
Forgive me a cruel chuckle.
[ Chuckle ] Power.
-In fairness, he is a political figure, I guess,
[ Laughter ] Prince John.
You know, from Prince John.
[ Laughter ]
I'm sure, in an alternate timeline,
Lauren Boebert isn't in Congress.
She's just writing hate mail to Disney,
to complain about how rarely they open the vault.
[ As Boebert ] Thanks to Joe Biden,
Cruella can only afford seventy-eight dalmatians.
[ Laughter ]
This person should not be an elected official.
From now on, instead of calling her
Congresswoman Lauren Boebert, I'm just going to call her
Lauren Boebert from Lauren Boebert.
[ Laughter ]
As we're seeing play out in real time now,
autocracies and dictatorships depend on stifling the truth,
which is why Putin is so desperate
to crack down an independent media
and stay isolated, even from his closest officials.
We should be investing in clean, renewable energy sources,
so we don't have to buy oil from dictators anymore.
You know, from Saudi Arabia or from Vladimir Putin, or...
-From, uh, Prince John.
[ Laughter ] -This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
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