Spaceships and Large Hadron Colliders are cool, but we like our science a little more
practical.
We've put on a man on the moon, but where's the technology that puts a moon pie in a man?
What about those who spend their lives on the couch, and still find that a bit much?
"Honey can you straighten up your area a little bit, because they're gonna be here soon."
"Thanks."
That's why we've gathered a few of the best inventions for the motivationally challenged.
If you're too lazy to use even these products, well...then you might be legally dead.
The remote control pillow
Is your remote control too plastic and hard?
Follow-up question: is your pillow too fluffy and nonfunctional?
Well, you're in luck.
The pillow scientists at Journey's Edge have a solution: The Universal Pillow Remote.
That's right: scientists have invented a remote control pillow — because why can't everything
be a pillow?
With "large, easy to read fabric buttons," this plush headrest can function as up to
six different remotes, which is more than this guy's pillow can do.
"She can't control the strength of her bite because of her nervous disorder."
"Her love bites become injuries."
The nightstand fridge
It happens every night: you're in bed, half asleep, when you get the craving for a beer
and a Dorito sandwich.
You could walk all the way into the kitchen, but that would involve fully waking up.
No, if you're going to sleep-eat, you want it to be as convenient as possible.
That's where the good people at ManTables come in.
For the low, low, actually kind of high price of $599, you can order your own nightstand
with a built in refrigerator.
That way, whenever you want to sneak that third dinner in the middle of the night, it'll
be right there waiting for you.
The robot lawn mower
How many times have you sent the kids out to mow the lawn, only to remember that your
wife took the kids in the divorce settlement?
Thankfully, there's now a solution: The Husqvarna Automower 315 25 Watt Rechargeable Automatic
Robotic Lawn Mower.
That's a lot of words for a pretty simple idea: it's a robot that mows the lawn.
You know those automatic vacuum cleaners?
"Little guy cruises around and plays music.
What's hot, DJ Roomba?"
"DJ Roomba, tearing it uppppp!"
It's like that, but with deadly spinning blades.
What could go wrong?
The toothpaste squeezer
In this busy modern world, who has the time to squeeze their own toothpaste?
You'd have to be crazy to brush your teeth like that.
"Hello?"
Well, the iLifeTech Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser is the answer to all your problems,
because this little device literally just squeezes toothpaste for you.
Use it once, and you'll start to wonder if you're expending too much effort doing other
things in the bathroom, too.
"Do you think perhaps just once I might use the bathroom by myself?"
"Most amusing, sir.
WIPERS!"
Lazy reading glasses
Reading: it's less work than moving literally any part of your body.
But that's not easy enough.
"T-T-T-Heh." the... oh...
But with Vinmax's new Bed Prism Spectacles, you won't have to lift your head to read ever
again.
Thanks to its one of a kind, multi-lens technology, you can lie back in comfort and still see
every word on the page.
The trick is, there is no trick.
It's a periscope.
Only instead of seeing Indiana Jones through the lens, all you get is a boring book.
Thanks for nothing, science!
The twirling fork
Spaghetti's the double-edged sword of dinnertime.
It's delicious, but so hard to eat right!
If you aren't careful...chaos.
"Mama mia."
But with the Hog Wild Twirling Spaghetti Fork, you can let the silverware do the work for
you.
"So it's for someone not willing to do 'this' with their hands."
"Is that what that's for?"
The PooTrap
It's bad enough that you have to take your dog out for a walk, but now you have to pick
up its poop, too?
Can't you do anything yourself, Professor Bones?
You're useless!
The fact is, whether you have a bad back or a bad attitude, there's no reason you should
be the one cleaning up after your pooch.
That's where this thing comes in:
"Introducing PooTrap!"
"An amazing, new innovation that eliminates the need of picking up after your dog."
That's right: A handy bag that straps right to the anus of your furry friend.
Remember: a dog's pride isn't worth your inconvenience.
Motorized shoes
Walking: An activity so lonely it has its own theme song.
That's why the ACTON R6 RocketSkates are a total game-changer.
Billed as "The World's First Smart Electric Skates," these babies strap right onto your
feet and take you wherever you need to go, so long as wherever you need to go isn't very
bumpy.
Or up any hills.
Or down any hills.
Or anywhere with stairs.
Maybe just in the parking lot.
Anyway, with a top speed of 12 miles per hour, they'll get you there a heck of a lost faster
than those sweaty meat bags at the bottom of your legs.
Get lost, you stupid feet!
The ​Beer Bot
Meet the Asahi Robocco Beerbot, a robot that pours beer for you.
It's sort of like having your very own Tom Cruise!
"Ho!
Ho!"
For just $799 — plus $94 shipping — you can own a robot friend that will produce a
beer, open it, and pour that frothy brew into a glass.
That's way more than your normal friends would do for you.
"I want you blending into your surroundings.
How fast can you run?"
"I think that guy wants to hunt me."
On the other hand, it's possible that the Beer Bot is just trying to get you drunk so
it can hook up with your refrigerator.
"I don't know what you're doing back here in the galley, cuz you got a first class seat."
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