- Today, we ask the age-old question-
- Will it calzone?
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat music)
- Good Mythical summer.
- We're about to answer the age-old question,
will it calzone?
But first, this portion of today's episode
is sponsored by...
- [Both] Ricola!
- That's right, and they got a new product, y'all.
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- Uh-huh.
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(Rhett laughs)
- I got it!
- I think he just discovered the real honey
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- Mm-hmm. I did.
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so you can coat and protect your throat.
And thanks again to...
- [Both] Ricola!
- For sponsoring this portion of today's episode.
- We have willed pizza.
We've willed deep-dish pizza.
We've even wheeled pizza rolls.
But today, we go boldly
where no man sitting at this desk has ever gone before,
the next great pizza frontier.
(ethereal music)
- Folded pizza, AKA calzones, AKA, it's time for...
- [Both] "Will It Calzone?"
- The rumors are true. Calzones are basically folded pizzas.
But more specifically, they are oven-baked turnovers
made with pizza dough,
stuffed with cheese and other fillings
with dipping sauce on the side.
- And while pizza is one of the ultimate party foods,
calzones are never invited.
- Yeah.
- But what if we dropped the calzone in, say,
a vat of radioactive nachos?
Could that change?
♪ Dun dun dun ♪
- It's Nach' Pocket!
Get it? It's like nachos in a pocket?
- I get it.
- It's like, you know what I'm saying?
- Hey, Lily.
- [Lily] Hey.
- What'd you do?
- Well, this is a tortilla-chip-crusted calzone,
stuffed with Monterey Jack, nacho cheese,
and all of your favorite toppings, like beans,
pickled jalapenos, ground beef, pico, and black olives.
- What in-
- [Lily] And on the side for dipping,
you have some good old sour cream and guacamole on top.
- But no chips on the inside
because it's all on the outside.
- All on the outside. - Okay.
I like to be prepared for a little extra crunch,
and I'm gonna dodge the pico area.
- Sorry about that.
- Oh no. No, no, no.
That just part of my life.
- The pico area is an area.
- Yeah, it is. - Pico, California.
- Never been there.
You wanna start with a nice little-
- I'm gonna do a little sour cream.
- I don't want to dink it on your sour cream.
Get me just a little bit.
- Okay. So I'll get some more.
- And sink it.
Mm.
This is like eating a whole Super Bowl spread in pill form.
- Hmm. - Giant pill form.
- It's also what they serve at every Italian baseball game.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
That's one of my favorite- - Why?
- Well, because it's like nachos and a calzone-
- Oh. - ...which is an Italian food.
- I get it. - So it's like...
Yeah, yeah.
- I just don't think about nachos in a baseball game.
- Yeah. Well, 'cause you don't think about baseball games.
- You know what? I don't. I'm sorry.
That's also on me.
This is good.
I'm gonna bite it again.
- It's actually, it's actually really good.
It's...
I'm losing quite a lot of the chips.
I'm gonna have to Roomba those up, and then eat 'em again.
- I mean, you can't eat nachos while driving until this.
Pretty great.
Did everyone predict this in the tournament?
- I think it's pretty easy. - I bet you they did.
- [Rhett] Nachos. Will it calzone?
- [Both] Yes!
- Arby's has the meats,
so many meats in fact,
that they offer an entire Meat Mountain sandwich
on their menu, but only the secret menu.
So to help keep that secret a secret,
we hid the meat mountain in a calzone.
The calzone mountain.
- Oh, yes.
I'll set the au jus aside.
- What did you all do?
- [Lily] We definitely have the meats on this one.
It's all meat and cheese.
You have roast beef. You have turkey.
You have fried chicken. You have ham.
Fried chicken?
- [Lily] Fried chicken. Yes.
- Dang.
- It's a meat. It's a meat, man.
- [Lily] It is a meat, man.
You have cheddar and Swiss
and Arby's famous red ranch and cheddar sauces,
all stuffed in onion roll pizza dough.
- Onion roll pizza dough? - Yes.
- 'Cause that's what they do. - It smells great.
- They got the onion roll and the roast beef.
What's that big piece of meat at the top?
- [Lily] Probably chicken.
- It's probably chicken.
- Yeah, that's- - You confused yourself.
- That's a chicken piece.
- Oh, okay. I gotta get a little corner bite.
Man.
People talk smack about Arby's, but...
- Do they?
- Yeah, Arby's has a bad reputation.
But everything I've had from Arby's is good.
- I can definitely tell
that all this was acquired from Arby's.
- [Lily] Yes.
- And then just put in here 'cause it's so specific.
- Mm-hmm.
- [Link] Has Arby's thought of this?
- Arby's thought of everything, man.
Oh, I don't want you to have to look at that.
So if they thought of it, they passed on it.
- The last thing Arby's can be accused of
is not thinking of a new way to present meat.
- And the sauces that you put in here are really working.
Mm-hmm!
- There's a very specific, I don't know which one it is but-
- The roast beef.
- I think it's the Arby's cheese
that comes on the Beef & Cheddar.
It has a very specific taste.
- Oh, that, too. Yeah.
- I just wanna cuddle up with this thing.
- I keep going back for it.
So the Meat Mountain has all of this stuff on it.
- [Lily] All of this stuff, yeah.
- But it's scary in the way that it's stacked.
This is very approachable.
- It actually, yeah, I makes the Meat Mountain-
- Still drivable.
- Like very, very handable.
- Mm-hmm. - Very handleable.
It brings the Meat Mountain down to
something that you can get your mouth around.
- Sea level?
- Arby's. Will it calzone?
- [Both] Yes!
- And I quote, "having Link on a food judging panel
is like having a blind man judge a beauty contest."
Unquote.
That was one actual commenter's response
to seeing you pick apart Stevie's lox bagel, okay?
- I bet you it's happened.
I mean, there needs to be consent involved,
but I bet it's happened.
- Okay.
Against our better judgment,
we're giving you a second chance.
This is your chance to shine.
Presenting the lox, tomox, and one smoking bagel calzone.
- So what's in here?
- [Lily] Well, this is a classic bagel and lox calzone.
- Don't say it with such suspicion, man.
- [Lily] Inside a pizza dough covered
in everything bagel seasoning, as you can see-
- [Link] I like everything bagel seasoning.
- [Lily] Okay, well there is something in here
you're not gonna like.
- Well, leave that out when you tell him.
- [Lily] Okay. (laughs)
You have warm cream cheese and mozzarella, smoked salmon,
sauteed red onion, unknown ingredient, and capers.
For dipping, you have lemon and dill ranch.
- Dang. Look at that.
Look at that salmon right there.
- Unknown ingredient that's not salmon?
Is it the red thing on top of the salmon?
- Don't worry about it.
- I'm not gonna yank anything out of this,
and I dedicate this to Stevie, right?
Stevie?
- [Stevie] Well, I mean, it's your dedication,
so I don't wanna say right or wrong.
Let's see how you do,
and then I will accept or reject the dedication.
- One of the things I'll say about putting something
in a calzone is it makes it extra difficult for somebody
who's picky to take things out
because you're gonna have to be a real a-hole-
- I have to agree. - ...to open up a calzone
and take things...
Don't put it past him. - It's gonna be trapped.
- But to open it up and then fold it back down.
And that's a...
Like a sandwich is just asking to be disassembled,
but this can't be disassembled.
- I really like the edges of it.
- [Lily] Thank you.
- You know?
- Okay. If I bite over here, well, that's great.
And if I keep going back here to the toe of the calzone-
- While he's avoiding the ingredients-
- I love eating the toe.
- ...this is excellent.
- Really good. - I mean-
- I love it. - ...it's unbelievable.
It's actually better than just lox and bagel,
which I already like,
'cause something about bringing all these ingredients...
You somehow...
You did a perfectly cooked salmon
versus the kind of smoked salmon that you would just put on-
- That does help me, too. - ...the bagel,
which I think makes it a winner.
- My bite was okay.
Not pulling anything off.
I'm just starting around the edges, you know,
because they're so artisanally folded.
- [Lily] Yes. So you're just eating the pizza dough.
- I just love eating that fold.
- It's artis-anal.
- Yeah.
I could tell you're very artis-anal about it.
- Artis-anally folded.
And I know where I stand.
I'll give you a chance to come around.
- I'm a caper lover.
Oh no. I've been...
I love this.
- All right!
- And Stevie, I left a lot of it for you-
- Mmm. - 'Cause I want you
to enjoy it, too.
- [Stevie] Thank you.
- Lox and bagel. Will it calzone?
- [Both] Yes!
- I have a theory. - Okay.
- Candy corn consumed outside of the month of October
ain't so bad.
However, I have never consumed candy corn
outside of the month of October,
certainly not in this form.
So let's see if my theory holds water.
This is the candy corzone.
- Okay.
- [Link] Candy cornzone.
- Let me get this salmon off of this knife
before I throw it into the middle of a candy corn calzone.
- Before you cut it, this is a-
- Just admire it.
- Yeah, that is a colorful...
It kind of looks like the GMM logo is hidden in there.
- Well, let's find out, Link.
- Lily, what did you do?
- [Lily] This one is pretty freaking sweet.
You have a tri-colored dough to mimic a candy corn,
and inside is melty cheese with candy corn inside.
On the side you have a sweet candy corn dipping sauce.
And this was by far the most labor intensive calzone
I've ever made.
- Oh. Oh, well, I'm sorry.
(Lily laughs) - Okay.
You complaining?
- Not complaining. - Thanks for your effort.
- [Lily] I love working here.
- You love your job. (Rhett laughs)
- Thanks for clarifying.
- What made it so labor intensive?
Tell us about that.
- [Lily] I separated around 200 candy corns by color.
- Oh no.
- [Lily] To get them to, the cheese to melt inside,
so if you cut it open, you can see that
it's also separated by color.
- You cut them into three pieces, each one?
- [Lily] Yes.
- Oh my gosh.
Now, we're just gonna eat it.
(Lily laughs)
- Yeah, and when you say it's separated into color,
you're talking about like this direction or this direction?
- [Lily] Um, the-
- Second one?
- [Lily] The second one, I think.
- So as you progress through the calzone, you get-
- Different colors. - ...the experience
of a candy corn.
- I'm in yellow town right now.
- Dang. - So are you,
'cause we cut in the middle.
- Well, then here, cut it again,
and let's see if she was lying.
- So wait. - Wow.
- About how much she worked.
- I'm just so ready to eat it.
- So is it...
- And that should be white town.
- I'm in white town now.
- And now...
- Lily, you stinker.
- You've got orange town.
- All right, so you take a little orange town,
I'll take a little white town.
And so you made the candy corn into cheese.
- [Lily] I combined candy corn with cheese.
- That's good enough, by the way.
I mean, he sounded like he was disappointed.
- I'm just fascinated.
I love it.
- It's not that bad.
It's actually really sweet and really good.
- It's really good.
- It's also what the Italians hand out on Halloween.
You understand?
'Cause calzones are Italian.
- [Link] Oh.
- [Rhett] And candy corn is from Halloween.
- [Link] Yes.
- So it's kinda like the baseball thing earlier.
- Totally.
Totally got it.
- I love it!
- It gives a pizzert experience.
- It's giving candy corn.
- Now, we can...
Yeah, it is.
So I've heard that-
- I heard about this, too.
- ...we have a crew member who hates candy corn.
- Yep. That's all about to change.
- I don't hate candy corn, and I love this because-
- It's way better than actual candy corn.
- It's proving my theory, so I'm kind of biased anyway,
but...
- [Mouth] Ooh!
- But woo, we're gonna bring in David Hill.
- The hater of candy corn. - Candy corn hater.
Now, David Hill, come on in here.
- We got a nice piece prepared for you right in the middle.
It's extra juicy.
- How much do you hate candy corn?
- It's the worst Halloween candy you could get,
worse than almonds.
- Worse than almonds?
- If you find it in your mouth, do you spit it out?
- I mean Almond Joy, Almond Joy.
Yeah, 'cause it's sweet, don't get me wrong,
but it's a sweet stale.
- Sweet, yeah.
- Okay. Well, I think this might be an improvement.
Don't think of it like candy corn.
Think of it like a calzone.
- Oh.
Okay.
It's like a cheesy bread.
- Yeah, the cheese helps, doesn't it?
He's taking very, very-
- It's a calzone, so it is a cheesy bread.
- ...meager bites.
- Kind of, a little bit of, feels like a cinnamon bun.
- It does have a cinnamon bun.
- Yeah.
Yeah, Lily did a great job with this.
- But it still giving candy corn.
And so now, you're open to it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is...
It brings it up.
Yeah. I'm getting closer.
- He's slightly more open to candy corn.
- You see what we've done?
We're using this for good.
- Changing people's lives.
Candy corn, will it calzone?
- [Both] Yes!
- There are so many kinds of mustard out there,
all delicious but all over the place flavor-wise.
Now, wouldn't it be a dream come true
if you could enjoy them all in one central location,
one zone, if you will?
- Oh? - Introducing...
Pardon me?
Would you have any mustard calzone?
- But of course.
But of course.
- Lily? - Yes?
- What did you do?
- [Lily] Well, inside this mustard calzone is mustard,
along with some fresh mozzarella and Parmesan.
I've included hot mustard, spicy brown mustard,
honey mustard, whole grain mustard, Dijon mustard,
mustard powder and French's yellow mustard.
And on the side for dipping,
you, of course, have some mustard.
- Mustard. Oh.
Oh, that's mustard?
- [Link] Hey, I'm nothing but mustard
and a little bit of cheese.
- Now, what cheese did to candy corn,
can it also do to mustard?
You know what I'm saying?
- I think it could.
I mean, mustard ice cream, great thing.
And didn't this come up?
- Yes. You know what?
During the "Will It?" Marathon, I think I specifically said
we should do more stuff with mustard,
and I'm glad to know that you actually listened.
Ha!
- Ha!
But of course!
- You wanna do get some more mustard on your-
- I want to dink yours.
- Why are you so afraid to dip?
- Well, I just want to dink.
- Okay. Can you dip and then dink?
- I'll dip and then dink.
Dink it.
- And sink it.
(Rhett clears throat)
- Yeah. - Okay.
- We may have reached the limit.
- But it's refreshing.
- It's- - Breathe it in.
Breathe it in through your mouth and out through your nose.
- That hot mustard is really doing a lot of work.
I'm gonna take a little bit of the bread on the side
that isn't so strong.
You know, as you get older-
- Woo!
- ...your palate gets weaker and weaker.
Like you want things to really punch you in my face.
- And this is doing it.
It's really opening up my nasal tunnels.
- I just don't think we're old enough for this yet.
I think if we took this to a retirement home-
- They would love it.
I don't hate it.
So, I mean, I am 45.
- Yeah. I can see my future self enjoying this.
- But I will love it.
- My present self just can't take it.
- Here's the thing, though, man.
- Okay.
- If it wills in some form,
maybe it's just for senior citizens,
then we've got a Queen Sweep.
- Will it?
- That rarely happens.
- That feels like a little bit of a,
hmm, how would I say?
- Cart before the horse?
- Skirting the rules.
- [Stevie] But you said that eventually, it would for you,
and technically-
- Oh, so you voted for this, Stevie in the tournament?
- [Stevie] No, I no longer participate in crew tournaments
because it makes me too sad when I lose.
But "will" technically is a word
that implies a future iteration.
- Wow, that's actually pretty clever.
- That's right. - You know what I'm saying?
- And- - That's very convincing.
- ...we'd be able to celebrate the Queen Sweep,
talk about that in a minute.
We're hearing from the tournament
that people are frustrated.
- Yeah. I'm always looking for things to talk about.
So...
(crew laughing)
Uh...
I think I'm on team yes.
- It will in the future.
Mustard. Will it calzone in the future?
- [Both] Yes!
- Queen Sweep! Can you believe it?
I wanna talk about it all day.
(crew applauding)
- Can you believe?
It's rare that it happens. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I just can't stop talking about-
- This is real special. - ...how amazing it is.
- This is real, real special.
- Now, Hitch, I did see you grab your head
with both hands when we willed this.
- But you had to.
- So you're moving further down the rankings.
- Well, most people probably are.
Most people probably said this wouldn't,
so it's probably a, you know,
it's a little bit evenly distributed disappointment.
Kalyn?
Did Kalyn think it was a Queen Sweep happening today?
- [Stevie] I was gonna say,
it's rare to have a Queen Sweep,
but it's not rare for me to say Kalyn is in the lead
still after today's episode,
and Sierra has slipped out of that top spot,
so Kalyn remains.
- Dang. She's alone at the top of the Meat Mountain.
- Because they all willed.
I just can't stop talking about it.
- Oh yeah. We'll keep talking about it.
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