VACATIONS INCLUDE FAMILY IF
YOU'RE LUCKY BUT IT CAN GET
TRICKY.
SOMETIMES IT CAN.
IN
RELATIONSHIP REBOOT, WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT TIPS TO GET ALONG
WITH YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY.
CAROLYN AND -- WELCOME.
IT'S GREAT.
WE LOVE IT TOO.
THIS TOP
IC, I'M EXCITED ABOUT
-- I'M EXCITED ABOUT BECAUSE
EVERYONE HAS TO DEAL WITH THIS.
MOST OF US ENJOY THIS FAMILY
TIME.
YOU GO TO THE CABIN WITH
THE BIG FAMILY FOR THE 4TH OF
JULY, AND OVERALL IT'S A FUN
GROUP.
HERE'S THE SCENARIO,
EVERY SUMMER YOU GET TOGETHER
WITH AN EXTENDED FAMILY
VACATION.
IT ALWAYS GETS TENSE.
IF THIS IS A
SCENARIO -- IF THIS
SCENARIO BY DAY 8, PEOPLE ARE
IRRITATED.
I SAY IF YOU MAKE IT
THROUGH $8, PEOPLE ARE
IRRITATED.
I SAY IF YOU MAKE IT
THROUGH DAY 4TH,
CONGRATULATIONS.
HOW DO WE
SURVIVE THIS.
IT'S NOT JUST
THIS WEEKEND, ALL SUMMER PEOPLE
ARE TAKING THESE VACATIONS.
BY DAY 4TH, I'M THINKING WHEN
DO WE GET TO GO HOME.
THAT'S AN
IMPORTANT THING TO KNOW FOR YOU
AND YOUR FAMILY.
I HAVE A THREE
AND A HALF DAY -- AT THREE AND A
HALF DAYS, I'M, LIKE, I THINK
IT'S TIME TO GO HOME.
IS THIS NORMAL?
IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL.
MOST OF
US IN THE US DON'T LIVE WITH OUR
EXTENDED FAMILY SO WHEN YOU GET
US TOGETHER, YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE THE ARGUMENTS.
IT'S
NATURAL AND THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH YOU IF YOU GET
ANNOYED OR IRRITATED.
IT'S TOTE
--
IT'S TOTALLY GOING TO HAPPEN.
REMEMBER TO BREATHE.
THERE ARE THINGS YOU CAN DO
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T -- THERE'S
THAT ONE PERSON THAT SAYS, I'M
OUT.
YOU WANT TO CREATE A
BOUNDARY.
THAT MAY BE THE
AMOUNT OF TIME, BUT IT MIGHT BE
IN TERMS OF WHAT YOU DO WITH
EVERYBODY ALL TOGETHER.
I MAY
SAY WE WANT TO DO THINGS ON OUR
OWN.
SO PLAN AHEAD FOR WAYS THAT
EITHER YOU OR YOU AND YOUR KIDS
-- EITHER YOU AND
YOUR KIDS OR YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE
PLAN AHEAD SO IT'S NOT A
SURPRISE TO PEOPLE.
YOU'RE
CREATING BOUNDARIES WITHIN THE
LARGER GROUP.
IS IT REALISTIC TO SAY I'M
GOING TO RENT MY OWN ROOM.
ABSOLUTELY.
HAVE YOU TALKED TO MY MOTHER?
THAT'S THE TRICKY BIT.
SO
YOU HAVE TO FINESS IT.
GENERALLY SPEAKING, LIKE,
GENTLENESS AND KINDNESS HELPS.
KIDS ARE A GREAT EXCUSE.
THE
KID, THEY'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE
THEIR NAP.
WE NEED A QUIET
SPACE FOR THEM.
THEY GET WOUND
UP.
THAT'S A GREAT EXCUSE.
IF YOU DON'T
HAVE CHILDREN, IT'S
TRICKIER.
ONE OF MY SUGGESTION IS TO
ARTICULATE YOUR NEEDS AHEAD OF
TIME.
DO IT KINDLY.
LET ME GIVE
YOU AN EXAMPLE.
I HAD BEEN
CAMPING WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY
FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS.
THIS YEAR,
I SENT EVERYONE AN E-MAIL AND I
CAME OUT OF MY CAMPING CLOSET
AND SAID I DON'T LIKE CAMPING SO
I'M RENTING A CABIN NEARBY AND
IT'S GOING TO MAKE MY HUSBAND
MUCH HAPPIER BECAUSE I WANT TO
STAY LONGER.
SURE.
SO IT'S OKAY TO FIGURE OUT
HOW YOU CAN REALLY ENJOY YOUR
EXTENDED FAMILY.
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SPEND
THAT TIME.
ABSOLUTELY.
I DON'T LIKE
SHARING A HOUSE WITH 18 OTHER
PEOPLE.
OUR FAMILY USED TO GO TO CAPE
COD AND MY BROTHER LIKES TO RENT
A HOUSE ALL TOGETHER AND THERE'S
A LOT OF KIDS AND THERE'S
DIFFERENT SCHEDULES AND THERE'S
PEOPLE THAT ARE MORNING BIRDS.
I SAID LET'S GET TWO SEPARATE
LITTLE PLACES.
WE CAN STAY NEAR EACH OTHER.
WE CAN EAT TOGETHER AND GO TO
THE BEACH TOGETHER.
IT'S IMPORTANT BECAUSE THESE
LITTLE THINGS CAN GET ON YOUR
NERVES AND ALMOST CONSUME IT.
IT'S TEMPORARY.
MAYBE HAVE A
GOOD LAUGH ABOUT IT.
EXACTLY.
KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO LAUGH
ABOUT THE CRAZINESS BECAUSE
THEY'RE PROBABLY LAUGHING ABOUT
YOU TOO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ONE COUPLE I KNOW IN A STUDY
I DID SAID THAT EVERY NIGHT THEY
HAVE THE DEBRIEF.
SO THEY SLEEP
IN TWIN BEDS AND THEY TOGETHER
LAUGH ABOUT THE FUNNY, CORKY
STUFF ABOUT THEIR EXTENDED
FAMILY.
THEY'RE TOGETHER IN
THAT LAUGHING.
TOGETHER.
GREAT ADVICE
. HAVE A GREAT
SUMMER WITH YOUR EXTENDED
FAMILY.
YOU TOO.