Hi Everyone.
Welcome to this week's sermon where we're going to talk about what a Christian
marriage should look like. And if you're not married,
you also need to listen instead of doing nothing, not learning anything,
and then when you do get into a marriage you don't know what to do.
Because you might cause a lot of hurt. According to Fatherly.com,
nearly 20 percent of married couples divorce within the first five years.
Never think that you don't need advice. That's what a lot of people think when they enter
marriage only to later just go through divorce again and experience all that pain, all that hurt.
Did you know that there's in America today a divorce every 36 seconds.
Do you know how much pain that causes especially for the children?
Your innocent children who did not ask to be your kids.
You brought them into the world and have the responsibility to be good parents to them.
Getting into a relationship and just winging it without the know-how of
how to have a successful healthy marriage is extremely dangerous.
For some reason a lot of men and women think, man, I don't need any help.
I don't need to listen and I don't need to understand.
If that's you, the Bible says you are a fool. [Proverbs 18:2]
A marriage can either be the most beautiful amazing lifelong thing that you experience in
this temporary world or it can be the worst thing you experience in your entire life.
You cannot take this lightly. So let me give you three crucial
things that will help you to build the foundation of a healthy marriage.
Let's start with Number One. God should always be the priority.
In everything you do and everything you take on in life - the relationships you build,
the career paths you take, everything. God should always be the priority.
That means you should never put your husband or your wife above God.
God always has priority. Because if you do that,
then He will bless you in all the other things as a bonus, and that includes
your marriage. [Matthew 6:33]
How can you expect God to bless your marriage if He's not in the middle of it?
In the center of it. He created you.
He created your husband or your wife and He created marriage.
And He created it to be held in honor among all things. [Hebrews 13:4]
You are no longer two, but one. You know, this is probably one of the reasons
why when God created Eve, he took the rib of Adam. Because they are one.
And so when you and your husband or your wife and you come together in marriage, you are one.
[Genesis 2:22-24]
And then God tells the man specifically to love his wife as he loves his own flesh.
[Ephesians 5:28]
You are one.
There is no place - no place for selfishness in the marriage.
If you care for your wife as you care for your own body, that means you always want the best for her.
You will always want to try to understand her and to see what
she needs from you and then give it to her. As long as it is in line with scripture.
[Philippians 2:3-4]
You know, these verses weren't even used in the context of a relationship between
a man and a woman, but with all believers. So if you can't even do this in marriage,
how are you going to do this with other people? You have to love your neighbor as yourself.
But not only that, when you look at them you have to count others more significant than yourself and
you have to do it especially in the marriage. Jesus is a perfect example
of not being selfish at all. And that is our aim as reborn Christians.
To be like Jesus. And He came to serve.
Always obey God's word within marriage. Look, when you marry someone,
you might come from different backgrounds. You're not going to see things the same.
You're right maybe her wrong. Her right, maybe you're wrong.
You know you will see things from different views and different perspectives.
And that will cause disagreements. You will have those moments
where you just don't see eye to eye. So, what's going to make you see eye to eye?
Scripture. The Bible.
You look past yourselves and you look to scripture.
To see what it says about everything. And then you do that, that is how you are
complete as a husband and a wife. [ 2 Timothy 3:16-17]
If you and your husband or your wife now know that you are one and
that you're built on the foundation of Christ, That God should be the center of your marriage,
Then you need to obey His word. But how can you obey His word
if you don't know the Bible? You need to study the Bible
Especially those parts that teach you what it means - your role as
the husband in a marriage - your role as the wife in a marriage.
For example [Ephesians 5:22-24]
I don't want you to misunderstand this.
Wives should submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ.
What does that mean? It doesn't mean that the husband is bossy
That he just shouts his wife around and says, hey I want coffee, or I want this or I want that.
No no no no this is not what scripture is saying and I know there's a lot of men out there that
are using this as an excuse. It doesn't say that husbands
should be bossy and rude. It doesn't say that women should
follow everything the husband says. Only if it is in line with scripture
the way the church follows Christ. So, that means, if you say something to
your wife and it's not in line with scripture, then she doesn't need to listen to you.
Wives, if your husband says something that's in line with scripture then you
know that's what God says Himself so then you need to follow him.
You need to obey, because it's God's word.
The issue here is with the husband with the huge responsibility that the husband has
to lead his family as Christ leads the Church.
That's a huge responsibility. And wives, remember this.
God is first. Remember what
I said earlier. God is first.
So when your husband says something that's not in line with scripture you follow Christ.
If your husband leads you gently with love in line with scripture
then yes then you need to follow him. But if he leads you in the flesh - bossy,
rude - then you don't. The roles in the
marriage - the roles are different. But, you are equal as human beings under God.
You need to understand this. [Ephesians 5:25-27]
So husbands, you are not the boss man screaming to your wife, say hey, I want coffee.
Bring it now. No.
You are like Christ.
To the church that means you lead the way. Christ that leads us even today with love.
Gentleness. Jesus had immense power.
The husband has more physical power than the wife. Jesus had immense power but he didn't use it.
He came to Earth to serve us To lead us to the Cross
To give His life for us To sacrifice Himself
Do you love your wife that way? Any wife will follow a man like that.
Who leads by example, Who lives in truth, in the Spirit
Who is a man of God. And then, wives of course,
you will listen to a man like that because he'll lead you with the word of God.
And you need to follow the word of God meaning you need to listen to your husband when he leads
you through the Spirit. Jesus came to serve
So instead of husbands shouting to your wife to get a coffee,
You go and make some coffee for her. Lead by example.
[Matthew 20:28]
Husbands, do you treat your wives with understanding?
Are you gentle with them?
Remember it's not just about what you say to them, it's how you say things to them.
Your whole attitude - the words - the way you say things - your body language.
Everything. And this is important, because if you don't treat
your wives well - your prayers will be hindered. [1 Peter 3:7]
Now, if there are any wives who are outvoting their husbands
And telling them to listen listen - oh this part - listen listen - oh listen -
You too need to listen because I'm not just preaching to the husbands here but
to the wives as well. And you need to know
your role as the wife as well. Let's continue where we stopped.
[Ephesians 5:28-33]
Husbands, do you love your wife as you love yourself?
If you don't, you need to.
And wife, do you love your husband? Do you respect him?
This is important. God said this for a reason.
There are women out there who don't respect their husbands the way they should and it's really tough
for a man if a man is not being respected. A lot of women who break their husbands down
verbally - emotionally - especially sometimes in front of other people.
[Proverbs 11:22]
[Proverbs 21:9]
You know, some women can be very manipulative.
Very controlling, and they boast even about how much they can get away with with their husbands.
Oh you know, I know just how to to use them the right way.
You know I - I just wrap him around my pinky.
You should be ashamed of yourself if that is you. Because you should be a virtuous woman.
[Proverbs 31:10-12]
Be a virtuous woman that your husband can be proud of.
And the same goes the other way. Husbands - be someone that your
wife can be proud of A man of your word
A man who leads by example A man who has self-control
Who takes care of his family A man of God.
You know, there are many things that can come between you and your wife.
And most of the time it's because of lies. Financial problems.
People who cheat on each other. And alcohol.
The grass on the other side is never greener. It just looks that way until you get there.
And there are no answers found to your problems at the bottom of a beer bottle either.
As a man whenever you need guidance go to Jesus Christ Himself because
He was the perfect man when He walked the Earth.
If you want to know what a real man is like, look at Jesus Christ.
At His life. Treat people the way Jesus treated people.
And when you look to your wife, never be harsh with her, but a lover.
[Colossians 3:19]
You need to remember that you are children of God Almighty,
The king of the world, the king of the universe.
King of kings. That means you are His children.
What does that mean? You are royalty.
So within your family, treat your wife as a queen and she will treat you as a king
[1 Corinthians 13:1-7]
Endures all things.
Marriage is about a hard work.
It is not this fantasy that people put on TV and movies.
Marriage is hard work. But it is so much better with God
Because God - if He's in the middle of your marriage - your marriage will be beautiful.
And remember, you did not just make a promise to each other at your wedding day.
You made a promise to God as well. So love one another.
Now, take some time to understand what is your role as the wife - what
is your role as the husband within marriage. Watch these videos here and I'll see you there.
And always remember God loves you, and I love you too!
Bye [Music]