Hey guys. Today I kinda wanna talk about why I identify as queer.
So the reason why I'm talking about this-as I talk about everything else
is because I get a lot of questions of people asking me what's my sexual orientation?
Am I single? Am I gay? Am I straight? Am I pan? Am I bi?
Um, especially cuz sometimes I say things in my videos that like that like people may be confused about
and I actually-in one video, I don't remember which one so I'm sorry
like I cannot remember.
But I remember saying something like I identify as queer, like I'm attracted to men and women
Um, and like guess that would fall under pansexual as well
but for like me I- prefer to idea-identify as queer
And um, somebody in the comments was like, "Oh my God, you're bisexual. You should talk about being bisexual
um, and be like a, not like an alley but be like a, not a spokesperson, like a figure
for bisexuality to try to stop like the stigma."
And I understand the stigma, but I don't identify as bisexual.
Not because of the stigma, because who fucking cares about that shit.
But literally just because the word queer to me appeals to me in all asepcts of my life.
That's how I identify like my gender identity, my gender expression, and even my uh, my sexual orientation as well.
Or sexuality, whatever you wanna use.
So if I look at my shelf right here, my like books that I use for my research.
I have about nine books that talk about queer or have queer in the title.
Um, the first one that popped up and that I picked up is the Queer Study, the Queer Studies Reader, whatever.
I had to use this for a Queer Theory class a long time ago.
It actually like a-like a Bible, like damn.
Um this is actually not that good of a book to be honest
like I really expected a lot more, to be honest, but whatever.
Anyways so, the reason why I brought this up is because
and of course the fucking first page I open is Judith Butler, fuck this
So the reason why I like the word queer so much is because there's not one defintion of it
And like that's my personal opinion
because if you look at this book and you like at like five different articles that are in this book
because this is different articles
and you look at Transgender Studies Reader 1 and 2
and you look at the book here called Debates in Transgender, Queer, and Feminist Theory
and you look at the Gendered Society Reader and you look at all the other-Gender and Identity
The Gender and Sexual-, all of these. If you look at all of these
they all have a different version and definition of what it means to be queer
and what the definition means and implies to other people or in a general term.
And that is what I love.
And I know some people might not love that, some people might say that it's an offensive term
and that we don't have the right to reclaim it.
But I feel like this term has been reclaimed a lot by people who fall under the catergory of queer.
It is no longer a bad word.
I remember being in the class and somebody being like, "Honestly when I saw the title of this class
I didn't even know if I was allowed to say it out loud. I thought it was a slur."
So because it has so many different meanings and people can take on the meaning that they want of queer,
um, I will explain what my definition of queer is.
Now before I explain this you need to understand that you can't generalize people who may
feel the same way as I do and define it but don't identify as queer.
Like don't purposely identify people as queer unless they identify as queer.
That's one of the main things that I've learned in all of the literature.
Yeah, this is academia, but this does relate to real life.
I have seen people being like, "Don't identify me as queer,
I'm pansexual." Or "I'm bisexual." Or "I'm just trans."
Just trans. Like there's another identity that comes with that, you know? Two for one. (tongue clicking)
So for me, being queer is all about my expression
It's not about being different from the norm, but a part of it is.
And it's not being purposely different. It's just how I am.
So if I look at the norms and values that society holds
um, I hate them.
And there are a couple of things that I love, that I feel yes should be implemented
but most of the things related to gender, gender expression, gender roles
um, are literally bullshit.
And I will like (spitting noises) like fuck society. Literally.
Why do I choose to study this? I'm in Sociology by the way if you don't know I'm in my Masters in Sociology.
Um, so if I Iook at these norms and values that I absolutely hate
I don't purposely like walk away from them like "I don't wanna be normal" and walk away
I don't do that. If you look at me I have a very masculine presentation
And I identify as male, so I do really uphold those stereotypes of masculinity
in some way which is what society teaches us.
Um, so I'm not purposely doing it. But queer to me is more like I have a different mindset.
It's also more of a political identity as well
and in that aspect it can be a bit different for people.
cuz a queer identity could be a radical queer identity
um, regards to politics. This is a little bit confusing, um, sorry.
But, for me I don't relate it to politics okay?
That's for me. If you wanna look at queer politics and stuff like that, go ahead.
But this video is just about my identity and how I encompass queer in my entire life.
Okay so let me give you actual examples instead of just theorizing up in here
and like saying "Fuck societies norms" and shit like that, right?
Um, hashtag swearing so much in this video. Sorry.
But ya know when I make videos about like society like if you've noticed those are the videos I swear the most in.
Wonder why?
Also I know I'm like glistening and it's not because I have a natural glow and I'm so happy today
It's because the windows and doors are closed and the fan's not on
and these two lights are right on me and I'm literally already - this is disgusting. Shh.
So. 1. Queer as a sexuality/sexual orientation.
I identify as queer just cuz like I don't care who I fall in love with.
And yeah some people might call that bisexual. Some people might say pansexual.
Some people do make a very, very deep like separation of bisexual and pansexual
Some people in the bisexual community are like "Of course I'm open to dating trans people and non-binary people. It doesn't matter."
Whereas some people who are pansexual are like "Whatever it doesn't matter. I fall in love with a person not the gender." Whatever.
Cool. Whatever. To me I literally am just like whatever.
So I know it's hard to explain
but I prefer the word queer than pansexual
even thought they typically can mean the same thing.
It's like it's more like a queer mindset, I guess.
I'm attracted to queer, like-minded individuals.
That makes absolutely not sense. It's getting really hot. I don't know if you can see my sweat here, but it's very sexy.
So yeah, queer as like a sexual orientation thing is more like a general term I guess.
It's just like, "Oh are you gay? Are you straight?" "No, I"m queer."
And then their faces are like...
I also really like this word cuz it kinda fucks with people who like don't understand any of this stuff.
They're like, "Oh, I thought you were just gay."
I'm like "Oh, no. I'm queer." And to them queer means gay so they look at me like
"But you just said you weren't gay." And I just like fucking with them cuz that's who I am.
Um, so I guess queer as an identity is to fuck around with people.
Hmm. Not like that, but shh, that's not for here, shhh - find me on Grindr. Kidding
Okay. Let's move away from that and let's go now to gender identity and expression.
Um, I feel like I'm getting a lot more comfortable in my gender expression and gender identity.
And I feel like, yeah, I identify as male, but I don't identify as 100% male.
And I'm not non-binary either. This is how I feel my body is.
And it's funny. Before I came out I felt like I was like "Maybe I'm 70% men and 30% woman."
Cuz I was confused. I didn't understand how things worked.
And it's funny, now that I'm more comfortable in my body and I'm more comfortable in myself
and my identity and all these things. I do feel like I'm probably around 80% male and like 20% squiggle.
And that squiggle is the queer.
And that's what I love because my identity...
Like if somebody asks me if I'm male or female, I'm gonna say male.
But if somebody ask what's my gender identity, like I love to say queer.
Because for people sometimes it just relates to as a sexual orientation
but queer can literally, it's so malleable that you can attribute it to anything
um, and absolutely love that.
I can probably make a "Why I'm Queer Part 2" video if this is a little bit confusing.
I feel like I am all over the place. Make sure I do it on a day that isn't so goddamn hot.
It literally like 34 degrees right now and it's like 9 pm.
Um, 34 celsius by the way. So that's like 86 or some shit like that.
Woo. Omg I'm so hot I gotta take off my clothes.
Grindr. I'm kidding. Oh my God I have to stop.
But yeah I dunno
Oh one more thing I do not believe that everyone whose is trans is queer.
Like I said do not attribute this queer identity to anyone else unless they identify as that.
Please. Cuz that is literally one of the biggest mistakes that people do.
Um, I identify as queer. I prefer this word. That's who I am.
I am still trans. I am still a trans man. I'm still female-to-male trans.
Whatever. But if you ask me really about my sexuality there's no other word that I'm gonna use other than queer.
I can't-I don't identify with the word pansexual.
I think it's maybe just like a comfort things with the words but also more of an identity.
It makes no sense. I dunno. Let me know what you think.
Do you identify as queer? Do you hate this word? Is this like-how many times have I said the word queer in this video?
If you count it please write it down cuz you know I should have kept a tally right here cuz I've probably said it about 68 times. If I'm right, you get a jelly bean.
I need water. Yeah.
I know that looks ridiculous to drink water out of those shaker things but you get a big gulp when you drink it.
Anyways have a great week. I don't know what you think about this queer thing. Think of bee. Have a swell. Bye.