The Mario Movie has made quite the splash, grossing hundreds of millions in its short
time since release. With all this money and how popular it is, we decided to take all
the characters from The Mushroom Kingdom and speed run them through another Squid Game..
I’m Kyle with WickedBinge and this is Which Super Mario Movie Character Would Win The Squid Game?
Before we get to the contestants, here is the obligatory spoiler
warning, go watch the film if you haven’t already. Anyway, for today’s squid game we
have the following contestants from the film: Mario, Luigi, Bowser, Princess Peach, Toad,
Donkey Kong, Cranky Kong, Foreman Spike, Kamek, Lumalee, The Penguin King, Blue Shell, Pauline,
Diddy Kong, Chunky Kong, Dixie Kong, Koopa Troopa, Goomba, Shy Guy, Hammer Bro, Giuseppe,
King Boo, King Bob-Omb, Yoshi, and the man we all want to see in the sequel, Waluigi
The first game we’ll be discussing is one
that surprises everyone when it appears Red Light, Green Light.
Red Light, Green Light is the first game that the contestants need to go through,
and it starts prior to anyone knowing about the death game portion of the Squid Games. It
requires lot of patience, a willingness to follow
instructions and also the ability to stay calm when bodies start falling like flies.
So, let’s start with those who are more than capable of surviving this death game,
the obvious answers are of course Bowser’s Army the Koopas, Goombas, Shy Guys and Hammer
Bros. All of them are more than willing to follow any and all instructions given to them,
and that means they definitely survive this game. Lumalee is also definitely following instructions,
while she talks a lot about death, she doesn’t seem actively suicidal enough to purposefully
get shot, and she is definitely calm enough to see dead bodies drop. Finally, Blue Shell, who wasn’t
included earlier, also follows instructions to a tee, even seemingly dying for his king Bowser,
which also shows an ability to handle death, although it’s not particualrly level-headed.
The first person to die in this game is sadly Luigi. Luigi is Mario’s younger brother, and is
very well known for a couple of very specific things that make this a very bad game for him.
Luigi is a scaredy cat, famously and a worrywart, none of these games are good for a person like
this. However, while he is shown to be pretty good at listening and following instructions, Luigi is
not a level headed person and once the bodies start to drop he will quickly be joining him.
Maybe a surprise to some but Donkey Kong would be the next to fall during
this game. Donkey Kong is the prince of the Jungle Kingdom and the son of Cranky Kong,
the king. He acts as a sort of rival to Mario and spends most of the film engaging in what could
lightly be called pissing contests. Donkey Kong has one major thing that stops him from surviving
this game. That is of course his continued and repeated strong-headedness, where he just
refuses to listen, especially when it’s for the greater good. This is especially shown when he
just refuses to stop showboating when Cranky asks him to. This of course causes him to be
defeated by Mario and in a very similar vein, he fails this game because he can’t listen to others.
Up next to fall is Foreman Spike. Foreman Spike is the foreman of the Wrecking Crew
a construction company that the Mario Brothers worked for prior to the film. Spike is a bold
and sort of brutish guy who seems to care only for muscles and strength and is very similar
to Donkey Kong in that vein. In fact, Spike acts very similarly to Donkey Kong in a lot of ways,
he pretends he’s this big alpha dog but then instantly gets very scared when Bowser pops
up. Spike is the type of guy to instantly disobey any rules or orders given to him because he’s used
to be the boss. Spike doesn’t get very far simply because of his intense and quite dumb personality.
The final character to fall during this game is Diddy Kong. Diddy Kong is Donkey Kong’s little
buddy and a character who pops up very briefly during the film. Diddy is a lot of things,
but the main thing is he is quite young. He would not only start freaking out once the bodies start
to fall, but as soon as Donkey Kong dies, Diddy definitely isn’t long for this world. This is
true in the original series but also in the movie as he seems to be Donkey Kong’s number one fan,
so even really meeting him would be enough to cause him to freak out and fail.
Requiring a steady hand and a lot of patience, up next we have none
other than The Honeycomb Cookie Challenge
With 21 of our initial 25 still alive, we have the Honeycomb Challenge, there are a few stand
out survivors for this game. Those are firstly Princess Peach who is not only very patient,
but her steady hands and general personality makes her a shoe-in. Dixie Kong is in a similar boat,
because she is not only capable of taking care of and dealing with people like Diddy
but being a Kong she seems to be similarly steady handed. The final noteworthy survivor
is Pauline who is capable of running an entire city as Mayor and if she’s
anything like her game counterpart would be quite the patient person.
The first to go during this game is big bad boy Bowser. Bowser is the main antagonist
of the film and he is a big reptile turtle dragon guy. Now, Bowser is not a very patient
individual and due to his sheer size and general personality it’s hard to sit here and argue that
he’d be happy or capable of producing the correct shape. In addition to his huge size,
he’s just an all around aggressive and angry boy that would likely become
irritable immediately into this round… resulting in him breaking the cookie.
Sadly, everyone’s favorite Lumalee would be the next to fall. Lumalee as her name implies
is a Luma, a star-like creature found in the galaxy usually under Rosalina’s
employ. Lumalee specifically is somehow captured by Bowser and starts espousing
talking points about accepting death. Now, the thing about Lumalee and subsequently other Lumas
is that they do not have hands, instead they have little nubs. But unlike Kirby’s nubs,
they can’t be used for holding things or doing things very well, which makes a game
like this where holding and doing things is very much necessary, quite difficult to do.
In a very similar vein, The Penguin King would be the next to fall. The
Penguin King is a character who pops up at the beginning of the film,
mostly to show that Bowser is not someone to mess with. The Penguin King is the leader of
the Snowy Kingdom and they seem to be quite weak despite holding the powerful Super Star. However,
the king dies simply because of one big factor, his flippers just do not act or work the same
way as hands, and as such he just can’t survive a game where steady-handeness is so important.
From kings to troopers, up next on the chopping block are The Goombas. The Goombas are mushroom
like creatures who waddle around and act as an obstacle for Mario. They honestly don’t
play that big of a role in the film, although we see plenty of them in it. The Goombas can only
get so far however, as they do not have hands, they are just feet. This means they are little
more than walking sentries that can’t do anything when it comes to handling a cookie.
The final foe to fall is the explosive monarch himself, King Bob-Omb. King Bob-Omb is,
as his name implies, a giant Bob-Omb and the king of them, making his first major appearance
in Super Mario 64. While he only appears in a cameo during the film, it is worth noting that
King Bob-Omb is quite large. This, coupled with his Mr. Potato Head Arms he so obviously has it
makes it hard to see the guy picking up his cookie and breaking it so gingerly, because if there’s
one thing that Bob-Ombs are known for it isn’t subtlety.
But, in between games we have to see who shall survive the Midnight Brawl
Requiring a proficiency in one of three categories, the Midnight Brawl happens in between
the second and third games. To survive, you either need to be intelligent enough to avoid conflict,
capable of handling physical hand-to-hand combat or stealthy enough to hide during the battle.
With only 16 of our original 25, we have a few stand outs in this game. Firstly,
Mario may not show it but he is a pretty hefty physical threat and actually quite street smart,
capable of making amazing plans to survive battles against foes much stronger than him.
Chunky Kong may not be the smartest man in the world, but his physical prowess makes
him a pertinent contestant here. Finally, Kamek’s intelligence outshines most of
the characters on this list, even though he takes some of Bowser’s ideas a bit too far.
The first to fall down during this game is Cranky Kong. While he seems to be a
rather smart individual, he is quite old and not particularly a fighter
or a stealthy hider. Cranky obviously would not survive this game if he had
to actually fight and while he may outsmart an opponent, he couldn’t do it for very long.
The next ones we’re going to see fall during this game are
the Koopa Troopas. The Koopas are a subset of troops in Bowser’s army,
being bipedal turtles that waddle around and get thrown after being stomped on. While
they make up most of Bowser’s standing army, we never see them fight, in fact,
the Koopas are easily defeated by a large snowball and can’t even fend off most of
the Kong’s attacks in their Karts. They’re also not very smart, being little more than
grunts and they don’t seem to know anything about stealth, hence why they are so easily decimated.
The final one to not survive the night is Giuseppe. Giuseppe is an older italian
gentleman that is friends with Mario and Luigi. Now, there’s not much to say about
him because he honestly doesn’t have much of a presence. But due to being older,
he could not survive a fight with hammer throwing turtles
This next game is about teamwork and strength, we have the classic game of Tug of War
With 13 of our original 25 still around we head into Tug of War where we have a few characters
that will easily survive this game. Chunky Kong makes another appearance on our list of winners,
as he not only has a lot of strength but he is more than well-known for working in a
team. Hammer Bros are the only others to make our list, as they may not seem very strong,
but they are very easily some of the best people when it comes to teamwork we can think of.
The first to fall during this game is definitely Toad.Toad is a member of the many many toads that
work throughout the Mushroom Kingdom and Toad Town. Toad is many things,
such as an amazing friend and a very brave boy. However, Toad may be smart, but he is
quite physically weak, where even his attempts at teamwork will likely be left on the floor.
The next one we’re gonna see fall off is Blue Shell. Blue Shell is the general or some sort
of higher up in Bowser’s army where he acts as an obstacle and antagonist for a short time in
the film. Well, while it seems Blue Shell is a leader of some kind, doing teamwork doesn’t
seem like his thing at least. Also, like the rest of the Koopa Troopas he has relatively
skinny arms and mostly relies on his abilities to harm people and not his physical strength.
Speaking of Bowser’s army, the next to fall would be the Shy Guys. Shy Guys are little
unknown creatures that Bowser employs and they seem to work mostly in the Dark Lands. Now,
while it is worth noting that Shy Guys seem to work together quite well,
their little stubby arms mean that unless a whole army of them were working together,
they wouldn’t be able to pull this off, sorry Shy Guys.
Sadly, the final one to fall during this game is
Waluigi. Waluigi is a major antagonist of the series and while he doesn’t appear in
the film he’s absolutely a fan favorite. Waluigi is well known
for being skinny and lanky and whilst he may have seemingly enhanced strength his
inability to work with anyone but Wario makes it hard to believe he’d last long.
Next up we have a game of massive manipulation, mere moments manifest the Marble Game
The Marble Game has two prongs, the ability to not be manipulated by others and a
proficency at manipulation. Since the entire game focuses on tricking your opponent to
quote unquote “lose their marbles”. With 9 of our original 25 still alive, we have a few characters
that stand out as survivors. Firstly we have Kamek who is so intensely intelligent and magically
proficient that it’s not hard to see him being a master manipulator. The only other major survivor
we have this time is King Boo who as king of the Boos shows plenty of manipulative abilities.
So, the first to fall is Pauline. Pauline is the mayor of New York City and a seemingly good one
at that. Now one may argue that as a politician she would have manipulative abilities. However,
from what we see of Pauline in both the games and the movie she doesn’t
seem like a crooked politician in that way. In fact, it seems like she would fall for
tricks rather easily considering how she acts in her brief cameo.
Up next on our list is Chunky Kong. Chunky Kong is one of the many members of the Kong family
and seen mostly as a large strongman who follows the orders of those around
him. So, being used mostly for his strength one would argue that he would be pretty easy
to manipulate Chunky into losing his game
From Chunky to chucking, up next we have the
Hammer Bros. The Hammer Bros are a specialized subset of Koopa Troopa who are known for being
quite annoying thanks to their continued use of throwing hammers at enemies. Now, while the
Hammer Bros are warriors who work together quite well due to working under someone like Bowser,
coercion and threats are more than enough to manipulate them, hence why they fall.
The final character to fall during this game is none other than Yoshi. Yoshi is a green dinosaur
that makes a cameo at the very end of the movie’s post credits scenes and will seemingly appear
in the second film. Now, Yoshi is intriguing because he does a lot of things that get him
quite far. However, Yoshi is not getting past this level simply because he would be one of
the easiest creatures to manipulate because he’s very similar to a dog in a lot of ways.
Moving on by jumping from place to place, our
contestants now have to cross the deadly Glass Bridge.
With only 5 of our original 25 we move into a game that is complicated to dissect. Whether
it’s the ego of our contestants to head into an early slot or their ability to detect tempered
glass. However, other things may come into our rankings, such as how likely they are
to switch positions or push another player through the glass and if they’re worried or scared.
Both Mario and Peach would likely choose the high numbers to go last together… using the
opportunity to analyze the situation… which would work out well for them,
as this would allow the two to survive.
Simply put, we think that King Boo and Dixie Kong are far more likely to pick low numbers
to go first. Mainly due to their cockiness… which would result in their elimination. Kamek,
being very intelligent, would probably perceive picking a middle number to be
the safest choice… which unfortunately for him, wouldn’t be enough to save him.
So, here we are at the finale, we have just two left in the titular Squid Game
The Squid Game is a game about strategy and has a lot of rules,
however, as we see in the show, it ends up turning into a game about hand-to-hand combat,
which is what we’ll really be determining in this game.
We only have two survivors, the titular Mario the mama-mia man making big plays
in the Mushroom Kingdom and Princess Peach the leader of the mushroom
kingdom and the warrior princess we all love. Both Mario and Peach have done a lot of fighting,
in fact, the end of the film shows Mario being a great fighter against Bowser but
one may argue that it comes from the Super Star. Peach on the other hand seems to
have more formal training and is capable of breaking through blocks and slabs of wood.
After going back and forth for a while, the final character to fall during this game is Mario. While
Mario does have some physical fight training and is shown to be a relatively good fighter,
especially in his duel with Donkey Kong. It becomes increasingly clear that he
needs power ups to put him over the top, it wasn’t until he gained the Cat Suit and
Super Star was he able to stand up against Donkey Kong and Bowser respectively. Peach
on the other hand not only has formal training and fights more gracefully,
but she seems to have weapon training as well, as she seemed confident in the use of a halberd.
By the end it’s no surprise that Princess Peach. Truly the leader The Mushroom Kingdom needs.
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our
ranking. And tell us what we should cover next. Remember to hit that notification
bell and binge more of our videos. But most importantly, stay wicked.