Okay, so manipulation
is used by both men and women
but in this video, we're going to focus on
the manipulative tactics women use
to control men, why they do it,
and what you can do about it.
And yes, this is a triggering topic
especially if you've felt manipulated.
But what is manipulation anyway?
Well, basically it's when
someone sneaky tricks you
into doing something they want at your expense.
And because of the nature of manipulation
if you call her out on it
then you're often left feeling like the bad guy
even when you're not.
If you're new to my channel
I help men decode modern women
so you can find, attract, and keep your keeper
or at least have better relationships with women.
Welcome to just the tip.
Now, just before we get into these
I want to remind you
that explaining isn't condoning, okay.
I'm just the decoder.
I'm not the creator
and I'm not saying these are good behaviors
just because they happen
they are not.
No matter whether you're a man or woman.
I'll leave that at that.
Don't do these things.
If you're prone to doing these things
then you're going to need to get some help.
Okay so first,
let's look at the manipulative tactics
women use to control men
then why women use these tactics
and of course, what you can do about it.
So, manipulation tactics.
One, using emotions to guilt
or manipulate you into doing something
you might not want to do.
Example,
she brings up your past mistakes
during our arguments making you feel guilty
and responsible for your relationship problems.
She uses your emotions
to manipulate you into doing things her way.
Two, gas lighting
making you doubt your own perceptions, memories,
or even sanity
leading you to question your own reality.
Example,
she often tells you,
you are overreacting and imagining things
whenever you express your concerns
about her behavior.
She makes you doubt your perceptions
and convinces you
your feelings are invalid
causing you to question your own sanity.
Three, silent treatment.
Ignoring or refusing to communicate
with the intention of causing you distress
or coercing you into compliance.
Example,
she becomes upset with you
over a minor disagreement
and refuses to speak to you
or reply to your texts for days.
Intentionally withholding communication.
She knows this causes you distress
and hopes it will make you
give in to her demands.
Four, playing the victim.
Portraying herself as the innocent party
and making you feel guilty
or responsible for her feelings or actions.
Example,
she portrays herself
as the innocent victim in arguments
even when she's at fault.
Then she uses your guilt and empathy
to manipulate you into taking responsibility
for her feelings and her actions.
Five, withholding affection or intimacy.
Using the denial of physical
or emotional connection
as a means of controlling or punishing you.
Example,
she becomes distant or cold towards you
whenever you don't comply with her wishes.
She withholds physical and emotional intimacy
as a way to control you
and make you conform to her demands.
Six, manipulative seduction.
Using sex or intimacy
to manipulate or control
your actions or decisions.
Example,
she uses sex as a weapon
to get you to do things her way.
She manipulates you by withholding
or offering intimacy strategically
to control your actions or decisions
and she's probably really good in bed.
Seven, jealousy and possessiveness.
Instilling fear or insecurity in you
by exhibiting excessive jealousy
or possessive behavior.
Example,
she constantly questions your loyalty
accuses you of cheating
and acts excessively jealous
over harmless interactions.
She instills fear and insecurity in you,
making you feel like you must constantly
prove your faithfulness to her.
Eight, emotional blackmail.
Threatening to harm herself
and the relationship
or engage in destructive behavior
as a way to control or punish you.
Example,
she threatens to harm herself
or end the relationship
whenever you disagree with her
or try to assert your own needs.
She uses these destructive behaviors
as a way to manipulate and control you.
Nine, financial manipulation.
Exerting control over finances
to limit your independence or freedom.
Example,
she tries to control
where you spend your money
limiting your financial independence
wherever possible.
She tries to exert control
over your financial choices
and restrict your freedom
or makes you feel guilty
when you spend money on yourself
even if it's an actual necessity.
10, undermining self-confidence.
Constantly criticizing, belittling,
or undermining your self-esteem
to gain power and control over you.
Example,
she criticizes your abilities,
belittles your accomplishments,
and makes derogatory remarks
about your appearance.
She undermines your self-esteem
to gain power and control over you.
Yes, most of these traits
are expressed by narcissists
and the more of them you do experience
the more likely you are with a narcissist.
More on that in a minute.
If she doesn't have many of these traits
she might not be a narcissist
but that doesn't mean
they are healthy or acceptable behaviors.
Key point,
most people engage in
selfish behaviors sometimes.
Remember that positive persuasion
is not the same as manipulation.
Manipulation is one person winning
over the other person losing.
Positive persuasion is
effective communication and negotiation
resulting in both sides winning
even when compromise is needed,
maybe on both sides.
But why do women use manipulation tactics
instead of just being honest
about what they need?
So frustrating.
Let's look at why women use manipulation tactics.
One, insecurity.
Some women feel insecure about themselves
or their position in a relationship.
This leads them to employ manipulative tactics
as a means of gaining control and reassurance.
Two, power dynamics.
Manipulation can be a way for her
to exert power and control over you,
which is rooted in a need for dominance
or to feel superior.
Three, learn behavior.
Some women learn manipulative tactics
from their upbringing,
whether mother or father
or past experiences
they may have witnessed
or experienced manipulation
and adopted those behaviors.
Four, fear of abandonment.
The fear of being left or abandoned
can drive some women to manipulate you
to ensure you'll stay in the relationship.
Five, lack of effective communication skills.
Some women resort to manipulation
because they struggle to express their needs,
desires, or emotions.
Manipulation seems like the easier way
to get what they want.
Six, control issues.
Women with controlling tendencies
may resort to manipulation
to maintain power and authority over you.
They may have had a traumatic childhood
that left them feeling they had no control.
Seven, emotional or psychological issues.
Women who struggle with emotional regulation
or psychological challenges
may use manipulation tactics as a way to cope
with their own unmanageable
or internal struggles
essentially unless she's a psychopath
or a sociopath.
Manipulation usually comes
from a place of trauma,
low self-esteem, and insecurity.
It's more about her fears
and lack of worth than yours.
Again, some of these tactics
are also employed by men on women,
which makes women lose trust in men.
We've all got to do better in our relationships
if we want our relationships to be better.
And remember, don't be too critical
of yourself or others
for not being perfect at relationships.
We were not taught
how to have healthy relationships.
So, what can you do
if you feel like you're being manipulated?
Key point,
we teach people how to treat us.
So, here are some things you can do
if you feel like you are being manipulated.
One, recognize the signs.
Educate yourself about
manipulation behaviors and tactics
so you can identify them when they occur.
Understanding the signs
helps you validate your own feelings
and make informed decisions.
Two, trust your instincts.
If something feels off, trust your gut.
Your feelings and emotions are valid.
It's crucial to listen to yourself.
Three, reflect on your boundaries.
Assess your personal boundaries
and determine if they're being crossed or violated.
Establish clear boundaries for yourself
and communicate them respectfully
but assertively to her of course.
Four, communicate openly.
Engage in open and honest communication with her
about your concerns
clearly express how her behavior
is affecting you and discuss the need
for healthier dynamics in the relationship.
Five, seek support.
Reach out to emotionally healthy friends
or family or therapist
who can give you support and guidance.
Having a support system
can help you gain perspective
and navigate the situation.
More on that in a minute.
Six, set limits.
Establish firm limits
regarding what behavior you're okay with
and what you consider unacceptable.
Be prepared to enforce
those boundaries if necessary.
We teach people how to treat us.
Seven, prioritize self-care.
Focus on your well being
and engage in activities
that promote your mental health,
emotional health and physical health.
Taking care of yourself is essential
when dealing with manipulative situations.
Eight, consider professional help.
If the manipulation persists or escalates
and you feel unable to resolve
the situation on your own.
You may need to seek professional help
from a therapist or counselor
who specializes in relationships
and can provide guidance and support.
If you are at wit's end
and feel like this is you,
I'll put a link to
the online therapy company I recommend.
There are many online therapy companies out there
but key point,
some of them are biased
to women's needs be careful.
If your efforts to address
the manipulation aren't successful
you may need to consider
ending the relationship for your own good.
Trust yourself and prioritize
your happiness and emotional
and physical safety.
And if you feel like
leaving could put you in danger
please, please, please, please
reach out to a crisis line
before taking any action.
If you found value in this video,
the best way to support my channel
and to help others is to share it.
If you experience more than three
of these manipulation tactics
on a regular basis
you may be with a narcissist
and will definitely want to watch the videos
in my narcissist playlist,
less than three and she may be testing you.
So, you might want to watch
my nice guy or shit test videos.
These videos will help you spot the red flags
and your blind spots
so you can either work through it
or ditch and run.
Now remember, you deserve
to be in a healthy and respectful relationship.
You got this.
I believe in you God bless.