- Greetings roaches.
Beep, bop, boop.
(laughs) Just kidding.
It's your boy Roach.
Welcome back to another fabulous episode
of Roach Plays everybody.
And look at that, we're Mary Poppins y'all.
Except, uh, instead of singing about all the made up words
and teaching you how to clean, I'm gonna teach you guys how
to Roach a bunch of people.
(air whooshing)
Back to old Spaghetti Westerns.
Mmm, spaghetti!
Picked up a shotgun and a revolver,
these will come in handy.
And some bandages, in case my feelings get hurt.
Oh hey, cool stuff in this chest!
(leaves rustling)
Mmm no, nothing to see here folks!
Just a big ol' pile of leaves, inside of a house.
Totally normal.
This bush is gonna leaf you with some grief.
(laughs) Get it?
(crowd boos) Get it?
Ah, you guys suck.
Well I thought it was funny.
(running)
I'm hearing action, but I'm not seeing action.
Ever get that feeling of déjà vu?
(laughs) "Overwatch" reference!
(running)
(splash) Whoa, what was that?
A, a Chug Splash?
But, who threw it?
Ah, my evil twin, but how did he spot me
through all these leaves?
(chest glow) (door opens)
Let's just sneak around back here and give her
the ol' ooh, surprise I'm a bush.
(running)
(chest glowing)
Aw man, just a Shockwave Grenade.
(gunfire)
Is that a drive-through order I hear?
Yes, I'd like one order of Roach!
(gunfire)
The McRoach is a limited time offer pal.
Thank you, come again.
Krazykiwi from down under just got R-R-R-Roached.
- [Announcer] Roached.
- Someone's coming for the leftover.
(gunfire)
Well you're in luck debt137lucky, you just got Roached!
- [Announcer] Roached.
- You're welcome.
(footsteps)
Shielded up and ready to go.
(footsteps)
(gunfire)
I can hear someone else, where are they?
(running)
There's man!
Phew, I had the high ground.
Sorry BoricGiraffe, you just got R-R-R-R-Roached.
- [Announcer] Roached.
(gulping)
- I think I can hear a chest.
(chest glow)
(door opens)
Sweet, Chug Splash.
Where's Tanner?
Just kidding, these splashes are for moi.
Time for fast forwarding!
(western music)
Well I had my fun, time to say goodbye
to grandpappy's saloon.
See you around, grandpappy!
Focus boy, you're the only Roach I got left.
Phew, I was sweating in that coat, back to the default life.
(running)
We got lucky this time Roaches, we're already in the circle.
Maybe it's time for a little sightseeing.
Where's my vacation music?
♪ Roach-cation ♪
♪ All I ever wanted ♪
♪ Roach-cation ♪
♪ Gonna find a gun ♪
♪ Roach-cation ♪
♪ Just gonna run around ♪
(upbeat music)
Whoa rift, or is it drift?
Now just hold still so I can greet you with bullets.
(gunshots)
What is wrong with me?
Yargh, I been drunk off of Rum Splash,
(coughs) it's disgusting.
(gasps) Another person waiting to greet him!
You won't be kill stealing today mister.
Wood, my mortal enemy.
(reloading) (running)
(building)
(gunfire)
Wood, my lord and savior.
Thank you Jesus Roach!
Be safe my son.
(footsteps)
(gunfire)
Avert your eyes Jesus Roach, it's roachin' time!
Woo wee, those fancy boots can't save you this time,
cause you just got roached!
- [Announcer] Roached.
- Who needs a Sniper Rifle anyways?
I can probably get a kill with my eyes closed.
(gunshots)
I hope I'm not building in a tree right now,
cause I can't see.
(building)
He's down there somewhere.
If only I hadn't made a promise to not open my eyes.
(footsteps)
(gunshots) (building)
- [Announcer] Roached. - Did I do it?
I did it!
Ooh, sorry Drift.
I didn't know it was you, but you just got roached!
Okay, okay, now I'll grab the sniper.
I've proved my point, you're welcome roaches.
(running) (jumping)
Mushroom time!
I know I'm at full health,
but I really do love these mushrooms.
Huh, whew, gotta work off these mushroom carbs.
Huh, hey is, uh, is anybody else seeing colors?
(distorted music)
Is, uh, is that a person or, uh,
or am I still seeing things?
(building noises)
(boom)
I wasn't hallucinating!
Missed?
How?
Yargh, sorry kid.
(reloading)
(gunfire)
Come here you.
(gunshots) (building)
I'm comin' for ya', stay still dang it!
- [Announcer] Roached.
- You should've run luna, but the moon's gone dark
because you just got roached!
With all this loot I could buy a house.
I'm rich, in loot that is.
(reloading)
(storm timer)
(gasps) A shooting star, make a wish roaches.
I wish my dad would come back.
Maybe if ya' passed that spellin' bee.
(building)
So if two houses are built together,
then it's like one house right?
Like the nacho rule.
Just setting up a little fort here for the night.
Wait, is that why they call it "Fortnite"?
No, that can't be it!
(gunfire)
Putting the fear of Roach in 'em.
(gunshot)
Is that bush moving?
Out in the open too.
But, which bush was he?
(building)
Ah ha, you better make like a tree and leaf.
Hoo hoo.
(gunfire) (reloading)
Whoops, bush on bush action, get a room.
(reloading)
Or maybe I'll take you down.
(gunshots)
I just can't pick, which one should I roach?
(gunfire)
Hey, two on one isn't very fair.
Ah, he got my fort!
(building) (gunfire)
All right, it's roach o' clock.
(building) (gunfire)
Tried to corner me in, but I roached him instead.
- [Announcer] Roached.
- Congratulations, you roached yourself.
(swapping weapons noise)
Okay, let's head into the circle.
(piano music)
Whoa, two more victims.
And I'm top six, (laughs) I didn't even realize.
But I need to reload faster.
(building)
You can hide, but you can't run.
(gunshots)
How did that shotgun to the face taste?
- [Announcer] Roached.
(reloading)
- Hey, thanks for the potions and stuff.
Roaches, tell me about your craziest "Fortnite" kill.
I want to hear it so I can one up it.
Chug a jug jug, how much chug could a Chug Jug
if a Chug Jug could a chug jugged.
Ah, my brain!
(boom)
In front, let's go tacti!
I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll Roach this fort down.
Oh well, he's a problem for future Roach.
I will handle him present Roach.
(reloading)
(screams) That bullet almost took out a chunk of my butt.
#BUTTCHUNK.
(gunfire)
So close!
Aiming higher.
(gunfire)
Where'd you come from?
- [Announcer] Roached. - Wait, what just-
Whoa, did I just roach a guy behind me?
It's your turn buddy.
(gunfire)
Ooh, this is a risk.
(building)
(gunfire)
The cornered king, I'll take that crown.
- [Announcer] Roached.
(building)
- Oh no, ouch.
Aw man, sorry legs.
(running) (reloading)
I'm coming for this brick house next,
it looks a little suspicious.
It's me or you, dude.
(running) (swapping weapons)
(gunshots)
Learn this move in Boy Scouts.
(fire crackling) (swapping weapons)
My wall!
(gunfire) (building)
Actually, this is kinda rhythmic.
Play that back, yo.
Now just back away slowly, slowly.
(gunfire) (building)
Woop!
Peek-a-boo, peek-a-boo.
(gunfire) (storm timer)
Oh boy, we gotta move, storm incoming.
(gunshots) (running)
You know what I'm thinking.
(building) (gunfire)
Ah, no, mistakes were made!
(gunfire)
Yes!
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
- [Announcer] Roach Royale.
- We did it Roaches, another Victory Royale!
And right in the nick of time too, that storm almost got me.
Man, I don't know what to say after that.
I guess I really owe this one to Jesus Roach.
Thank you Jesus Roach.
You're welcome my son, G-G.
Roaches, this was a great run.
I hope you all enjoyed watching.
And if you want to help support me
and my other roaching endeavors,
be sure to use code ArcadeCloudPlays over at the Epic Store.
I'll try to record some new footage
with other games real soon, so stay tuned.
Take care and I'll see you guys on the roach side.
♪ Gee this was really fun ♪
♪ We hoped you liked it too ♪
♪ Seemed like we've just begun ♪
♪ When suddenly we're through ♪
♪ Goodbye, goodbye roaches, goodbye ♪
♪ And now it's time to go ♪
♪ But hey, I say, well that's okay ♪
♪ Cause we'll be back to our channel ♪