>> OKAY, IF I CAN JUST GET EVERYBODY'S ATTENTION.
I KNOW THINGS GOT A LITTLE WILD AT LAST NIGHT'S HOLIDAY PARTY.
BUT I JUST WANT TO BE CLEAR, THIS IS STILL AN OFFICE.
AND WE HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE FOR ANY WORKPLACE HARASSMENT.
[ APPLAUSE ] ALL RIGHT, THAT BEING SAID,
UNFORTUNATELY, WE HAVE TO FIRE OUR VICE PRESIDENT OF SALES,
LINDA PILLARD. >> THANK GOD.
>> ALL RIGHT, AND ALSO OUR FRONT DESK GUY, CHARLIE.
>> AWE. >> NOT CHARLIE.
>> AND IF IT'S OKAY, THEY'D BOTH LIKE TO COME UP HERE AND
FORMALLY APOLOGIZE. COME ON OUT HERE, GUYS.
>> HEY, GUYS. I GUESS I HAD LITTLE TOO MUCH TO
DRINK LAST NIGHT AT THE PARTY AND ACTED LIKE AN IDIOT.
>> OH, YOU THINK? >> NOT THAT ALCOHOL IS AN EXCUSE
FOR MY BEHAVIOR. I THINK I MAY HAVE MENTIONED
SOME OF YOUR PAST INTER OFFICE RELATIONSHIPS IN FRONT OF
EVERYBODY. AND THAT WASN'T COOL.
AND I'M SORRY. >> IT WAS MORE THAN UNCOOL.
IT WAS HUMILIATING, LINDA. >> AND JUST TO PIGGYBACK ON
THAT, JANET, LAST NIGHT AFTER A LITTLE WINE, I THINK I SAID
SOMETHING TO YOU LIKE, "MM, MM, MM, GIRL, WHEN YOU GOING TO
BREAK OLD CHARLIE OFF A PIECE OF THAT?
AND THEN I SHOOK MY HEAD, DID A LITTLE DANCE, AND SAID, "DON'T
YOU HURT NOBODY WITH THAT THING."
>> OH, CHARLIE, YOU'RE SO SILLY. >> CHARLIE, YOU CRACK ME UP.
>> RIGHT. AND AMANDA, I GUESS I UPSET YOU
WHEN I MADE A COMMENT ABOUT YOUR DRESS BEING A LITTLE SHORT FOR A
WORK EVENT. AND I'M SORRY.
>> OH, YOU GUESS? WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE STILL A
RUDE ASS BITCH. AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GETTING
FIRED. >> YEAH.
>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. LET'S KEEP IT CLEAN.
>> AMANDA! I SAW THAT DRESS TOO.
AND AFTER A FEW OF THEM VODKAS. I THINK I MIGHT HAVE SAID
SOMETHING TO YOU LIKE, "MM, MM, MM, GIRL, THAT DRESS SO SHORT
ALL I SEE IS DONKEY MONKEY." THEN I DID A LITTLE DANCE.
IT WAS OUT OF LINE. I STAND ACCUSED.
>> OKAY, CHARLIE, DON'T START NOTHING YOU FINISH.
>> COME ON, GLEN. YOU CAN'T FIRE CHARLIE.
HE'S CHARLIE. >> I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS
EITHER, DAVID. BUT THIS IS ABOVE MY PAY GRADE.
>> OKAY. WHATEVER.
ANYWAY, DAVID, I VAGUELY REMEMBER THIS, BUT APPARENTLY I
WAS BEING REALLY OBNOXIOUS WHEN I KEPT ASKING WHERE YOU WERE
REALLY FROM. >> YEP, AND I KEPT TELLING YOU,
BOSTON, YOU RACIST. >> TO MY MAN, KUNG FU.
>> HEY, CHARLIE. >> LOOKIE HERE, MAN, YOU KNOW I
HAD A COUPLE OF THEM BOURBONS LAST NIGHT AND I MAYBE SAID
SOMETHING TO YOU LIKE, "MM, MAN, IF I WAS A GAY MAN, YOUR BOOTY
WOULD BE IN TROUBLE. BUT I'M NOT SO YOUR BOOTY ALL
RIGHT." AND THEN I DID A LITTLE DANCE.
I TOOK A BOW. AND SAID DON'T YOU HURT NOBODY
WITH THAT THING. >> CHARLIE, I REALLY NEEDED
THAT. THANK YOU.
>> NOTHING BUT LOVE, KUNG FU. >> WAIT A MINUTE.
HOW IS THAT NOT AWFUL? >> GLEN, YOU CAN'T FIRE CHARLIE.
IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS. >> TRUST ME, DID I EVERYTHING IN
MY POWER TO JUST FIRE LINDA TODAY.
>> WHAT? >> OH, JENNY, DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT ME, BABY. MAYBE I CAN BECOME THE GRINCH
AND BRING IT TO YOUR HOUSE. BUT INSTEAD OF STEALING ALL YOUR
PRESENTS, I'LL BE STEALING THAT ASS.
AND IT WON'T JUST BE MY HEART GROWING THREE SIZES.
GIRL, DON'T YOU HURT NOBODY WITH THAT THING.
>> I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT, CHARLIE.
>> WHAT THE HELL? IT FEELS LIKE YOU GUYS ARE GOING
WAY EASIER ON HIM THAN ON ME. >> GET OVER YOURSELF.
IT'S CHARLIE. >> YEAH.
HE'S JUST A SWEET OLD MAN THAT HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
>> WE ALL DID. IT WAS A PARTY.
>> BUT HE'S STILL DRINKING RIGHT NOW.
>> BUT, WHAT THIS? OH, THIS JUST A SWALLOW TO GET
ME STRAIGHT. >> OKAY, THIS IS COMPLETELY
UNFAIR. >> GIRL, YOU ARE TOO FINE TO
BE -- WHY DON'T YOU LET OLD CHARLIE
LIKE A PAIR OF JEANS? >> WHAT?
YOU'RE DISGUSTING. >> OH, JUST TAKE COMPLIMENT.
>> YEAH, HE'S JUST BEING SWEET. >> YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE SHE'S RIGHT. MAYBE I DID GO TOO FAR.
IS THAT WHY I'M GETTING FIRED? >> ACTUALLY, THAT HAS NOTHING TO
DO WITH WHY YOU'RE GETTING FIRED.
HR SAYS YOUR URINE SAMPLE CAME BACK AS LIPTON ICED TEA.
>> OH, YOU NOTICE THAT. >> YEAH.
>> AND YOU PRINTED OUT PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES ON THE
OFFICE COPIER AND LEFT THEM THERE.
>> OH, ALL RIGHT. SO IT DID WORK.
>> ALSO A WOMAN WHO IDENTIFIED HERSELF AS HER WIFE SPRAY
PAINTED CHEATER ON THE COMPANY VAN THINKING IT WAS YOURS.
>> WELL, I GUESS WHAT HAPPENS IN DeKALB COMES BACK NINE MONTHS
LATER.