Hi, my name is Alis Rocca. I'm a headteacher,
a life coach and a yoga teacher.
and I spend a lot of my time helping parents and children
with their mental health and well being
and I have a real passion for making sure
that people have as many tools in their toolkit
to help their children to maintain that wellbeing as much as they can
and mental health is important.
It doesn't mean you have to be happy all the time -
that's not natural and it's too much of an expectation.
But it also doesn't mean you should
have high levels of anxiety and stress either.
At the moment children are really struggling with the lockdown,
with the implications of Covid,
and as much as we try and keep away the news
so we don't scare our children, they're aware that things aren't right,
things aren't the same
and that there's a level of fear and uncertainty.
So what they're missing a lot of is having routines,
being back at school, seeing their friends and teachers,
being out of the house during the day,
being able to come back to the house in the evening
and know they've got that settling feeling.
And I think as parents now is the time where we're trying to juggle
so many different things, whether it's working at home,
working out of the home, the normal family routines,
as well as remote learning.
So, having as many tools in our tool kit, as I say, is important.
So one thing I'd like to share with you today
is thinking about emotions and feelings
and just noticing when things can become a bit too much
for our children, and maybe a little bit too overwhelming.
And children often find it really hard to articulate how they're feeling.
So one thing I would suggest
is trying to create almost like a secret code
within your family
whereby you have different colours
and one thing I often suggest people do is like RAG rate them.
So Red, Amber and Green.
And have different colours representing different feelings.
So for example Reg could be feeling Angry
or upset, feeling like hitting out or the need to be on your own.
Amber could be being nervous, or anxious
or uncertain and unsettled.
Green is that Good to Go feeling,
when you just feel like you're calm and settled
and you know what you're doing.
And I often actually think adding another colour in there,
like a cool blue, to be when they're feeling sad or lacking in energy,
or unhappy about something.
And what you do as a parent is just notice when things are
bubbling up in your children and give them the opportunity to,
instead of them having to articulate how they're feeling
just choose a colour and they might then be able to say
"I'm feeling Red at the moment"
or "I'm feeling Amber at the moment"
because they've identified certain moods with those colours.
Then what you can do is get them to notice what they're feeling,
start to unpick it. As soon as we draw attention to a feeling
it has less power over us and it begins to dissipate,
and that's really helpful.
And then, really importantly, as adults, we tend to jump in,
often too quickly. So instead of just assuming what's right
for the child, asking them.
So for some occasions, one child might just need
space and time alone. That same child feeling a different colour,
might just need a cuddle and some time with you on the couch.
So a really good tip there to just slow things down,
press the pause button, get them to think about what colour they're
feeling today, and then have a chat about what they need
in that moment, and then taking the time to give it to them.