So you've heard that narcissists could never change, right?
Well, that's probably true.
But are there things that they could do?
I'm gonna break it down in this video.
So, stay tuned.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert, I'm also an attorney.
I've helped millions of people through this channel and
thousands of people go from drama, trauma and chaos,
to step into the lives of freedom, possibility and purpose and
I want to do the same thing for you.
So, make sure that you subscribe to this channel,
so that you can take back your power and
finally feel like you are in control and directing outcomes
when it comes to dealing with narcissists or toxic people in your life.
Are there things that narcissists could do to change their behavior?
Well, yeah, and it has happened.
Actually, I've met them,
there are actually wonderful people that I've met,
who say that they used to be horrible narcissists,
like awful people, who've had the world cave in on them and
they really have had to take a look at themselves and
change and it does happen sometimes.
People who have said they were the worst people in the world and
found themselves in situations,
where they said everything changed for them.
I would say that it can happen.
It doesn't happen that often and
for most of you who are out there,
I would say don't sit around and go,
maybe my narcissist or whoever it is I'm dealing with, can change and
let me hold out hope.
And the reason why I say that is because, for most of you,
you're in situations where is literally sucking your soul
to the point where it's probably affecting your health and
affecting everything about you and
when you just feel like you just no longer can function or breathe and
I always say like the soul knows,
it is just not serving you anymore,
whether it's a business relationship, or a personal relationship,
or even a family member.
You just have to create those boundaries and
just cut it and it's just not serving you anymore.
So, I'm just saying that,
sometimes you just have to make a decision,
that is just not for you,
but be that as it may,
there are some things narcissists could do to change their behavior and
I'm going to give you what the 10 things are.
I'm seeing this from the perspective of a person
who helps people in negotiations and
helps people communicate in these settings and
in any situations when people have to communicate with each other,
they're gonna have to recognize that there is an issue.
So, number one is recognize there's an issue.
I mean, if they don't think there's a problem,
then, there's a fundamental flaw in this whole thing.
So number one is,
they're going to have to recognize there's a problem in the first place and
then number two, they have to do something about it, right?
This is something they're going to have to do on a professional level,
because there's a deep-seated something going on within them,
deep-seated traumas, deep-seated issues internally,
where something had happened to them when they were children and
this is something that has been going on with them,
for a very, very long time.
So, this is very, very ingrained,
deep grooves have been layered on for many, many years
that will have to be handled and processed
in a way that most of the time,
they don't think they can do on their own.
So, recognizing the issue and
number 2, seek professional help.
I mean, sure they can sit around and say,
“Hey, I had horrible parents”,
or whatever it is that happened to them in their childhood,
but then, I'm an adult now,
so now I'm going to have to take responsibility for my actions.
So, one is recognize there’s an issue,
two, seek professional help,
number three is now I got to start taking responsibility for my actions.
So number three is, they will have to start taking responsibility.
Number four is they're going to have to now start learning,
what does it look like to be a person
who has compassion, a person who has empathy.
How do I start to speak?
What does it look like to have the words coming out of their mouth?
They need to start saying the phrases and
what does a person look like,
that is a person of compassion, a person of empathy,
they’re retraining themselves to be the type of person
that you wanted them to be in the first place,
it takes a lot, it takes a lot,
and while their undoing themselves and being this person,
if you are staying with them,
there's going to be some need for you to practice a lot of self-care
while you're dealing with this narcissist and
I do have a video on self-care to deal with narcissists and
while you're with this person,
I would definitely recommend you check out that video and
if you're dealing with a narcissist right now,
you should check out that video anyway and
it's hard, it's very hard.
If you are with a narcissist right now,
I would just definitely say, as I said in the beginning,
probably not the best thing for you to stay at this point,
maybe create an exit plan and not sit around and go,
“I think this person might change”.
So, we've done numbers 1 through 5, let's go to number six.
Going back into those old patterns
of whatever it was they were doing in the first place,
being passive-aggressive, lying, whatever,
whatever their narcissistic behaviors were in the past,
they're going to have to recognize “I'm going back into that” and
then, stop themselves.
What can they do to substitute their new behaviors, their healthy behaviors?
What does it look like?
Remember, go back to the new behaviors of a person who is healthy,
and all of that.
The new things that they're learning.
These are people who've been living double lives,
feeling very small inside, a lot of self-hatred,
narcissists don't have any feeling of inner value,
a lot of inner hatred.
That's why they try to layer on all that external value
through that outer prestige, adulation and control and all
because they don't have any sense of inner value.
So, learning how to love themselves,
learning how to feel whole and complete,
learning how to harmonize that feeling whole and complete inside,
so that outside they don't feel like they have to do those things.
You know, that inner sense of peace,
that inner sense of hope, wholeness,
that's what they really need to strive for,
the whole world calms down for them learning that.
Doing the therapy, doing the work,
learning how to having that compassion for themselves,
that's a lot of work,
it's going to take a ton of work on their part.
I said it's a lot of work for them.
So, those are the 10 things narcissists can do to change their behavior and
become a better person.
It's not an easy path;
but it is definitely a path for the good for them and
for all people around them.
I've heard statistics that say, one in ten people are narcissistic,
or had a narcissistic traits or tendencies,
or just simply lack empathy.
I've even heard statistics that say up to 16%,
I don't know what the real statistics are,
but I will tell you this,
if you are dealing with a person in a negotiation setting,
you should definitely grab my free e-book,
my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
at winmynegotiation.com.
You should definitely join my free private Facebook group,
which is “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”,
so you can get the support that you need.
Make sure you subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
I upload brand new videos every single day,
so that you can get that free content,
you can get the free advice,
I'm here every day giving you everything that you need,
so that you can have the information you need
to shift that dynamic and become powerful against narcissists.
So, thank you so much for watching.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
Remember today's a great day to slay and
a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video.