- This is cute.
If you could go back to our first date,
what advice would you give yourself regarding being
in a relationship with me?
- Go back and talk to my younger self?
Oof. Don't do it. Nah!
- Damn! - No, um...
The only advice
I would probably tell my younger self
on our first date,
don't eat that meatball marinara,
because that bathroom visit was horrible.
- What? When’d you, where?
- When we went to Subways.
- But you didn't...
I didn't go to the bathroom at your house, I had to wait
till I got back home.
- You didn’t go to my house.
- I mean, after I took you,
I dropped you back at home. - Oh!
I had to wait till I got home, yeah.
- Damn, that's painful.
So I went back home and that bathroom was...
- OK.
- But yeah, tell him not to eat that
meatball marinara sandwich.
And then also...
I would tell my younger self to save money,
save more money from then.
So then because,
when the problem with my Jeep happened,
I could have got it.
I could have had a better car, when I first got the Jeep
instead of the Jeep.
- That situation had me off.
- My Baby Midnite.
I miss her.
- That’s the name on my car.
- But I mean, I had to copy that.
It was a good name.
- Bye!
- But yeah, that was...
That’d be the only thing I would tell him,
the sandwich and
just to save more money so we could do more things
early on, like traveling.
Do your best impression of me when I'm angry.
- I'm crying.
You’re rarely mad, but when you are, it's like.
“Shut up.
Alright, you talking too much, I heard you.”
You don't explode.
I explode.
But youse is calm because you have
no reason to be mad.
You get mad when I'm mad at you for not listening
to something that I feel is very important.
- Or you didn't hear something I said.
- Oh, my God, yes.
No, because I ask you to repeat it.
But you be like, what? Huh?
Oh. And then you say the question is like, well,
- I mean, you just got to reply, “What?”
even when you hear it, just to make sure
you heard what you heard.
- I say, “What you said?”
- Exactly!
It’s your actions.
Sometimes your behaviors
show you listen to what I said,
because you either smirk, you’ll grin,
you’ll be like, “A’ight, yeah a’ight.”
And then when I actually was to answer or
any acknowledgment,
you don't acknowledge.
- ‘Cause sometimes I don't know.
- So say that.
- I do.
You don't believe me.
That's what it is, in my opinion.
- Yeah.
- What do you think
I need from you,
and are you providing it?
- What do I think you need for me.
Well, your needs are constantly changing.
No, for real. Respectfully.
So when I first met you,
you just needed somebody like,
you had a lot of friends at the time,
but nobody was really deep listening to you.
You were just everybody's
focal point or therapist when nobody was listening to you.
That is one of the needs that over time changed.
And then, you know, over time when people
stop being your friend or like, you know,
friend connections, you know, people grow apart.
So just being somebody
that was growing with you and then getting closer,
it was pretty nice. Good time.
- I agree 100 percent.
because I definitely felt like
I couldn't connect with nobody.
And you've always been my best friend since day one.
And that means a lot to me, because
you showed me what, like a friend is
and what a friend should be.
What about me?
What do you think?
Am I providing?
- I mean, you’re providing what you do for me.
You’re my help all the time when I don't get it,
you know when to help me if I'm not asking for it.
And that's really all I need.
I do pretty much everything else.
Everything else is all that it is.
- Do you feel like you could tell me more stuff?
Like... because, you know, I'm always venting to you
about something, but like, do you feel like
you could vent to me...?
- About myself? - Yeah.
- Over time, I mean, you've gotten better, yeah.
- Aww.
- Where sometimes I could tell you something that
I usually probably wouldn't have.
But it's all based off your mood at the time.
Like, if I have something
that has to be said at that certain moment,
and your energy is all, “Ahhh,” then yeah.
- I'm always down to listen to you.
- Not when you’re yelling— - You just don’t think I am.
No, if I'm yelling, it’s because you...
I got tired of being nice
about what I'm trying to express to you.
You know, if I say something nice like three times
and you’re just still being mean about it,
then that's when I'mma bite back.
- Got it.
- So I just, you know...
- I did want to ask you
what, something you would change about me?
- You saying yes to everything.
Everybody else always
needs something from you, and I feel like, just say no.
If you don't have to put yourself in
a certain situation,
then don't put yourself in that situation.
Do what makes you feel good.
And only if you feel like it is necessary,
then go out of your way.
That's about it.
Because like, I think you‘re fine, inside and out.
- I mean, I complain in the moment.
- Yeah.
- About to go do something, but I still want to do it.
Just helping everybody.
It’s fun to help. It feels good to help.
Some people like to say no and feel good to lay down.
I feel good to get out and help.
- No, I know.
- It’s a benefit.
I mean, everybody got to have that one person
who always helps them no matter what.
- Right, but you’re that one person for like everybody.
- That’s just the deck of the cards, you know?
That’s how it works.
- Whatever, Big Heart.
- Who has more power in our relationship?
- Physically, I mean, of course, you feel me?
but figuratively, I would say you,
because I just got to let you have your way sometimes.
I don't even I don't even try to fight it.
I mean, there's some times I'll let you have your way
a little too much and then you get too powerful.
- What?
- I got to bring you down a little bit.
So that's when I say something to you,
like, ”Yeah, you gotta calm that down.”
because you get a little too. “Ahh!” No.
- I don't ask for much.
I know, but we're talking about some power, the power
when you start getting too powerful. I got to
bring you back a little bit.
But yeah, I would say
overall, I would say it’s you,
I wouldn't even say it’s me.
I mean, because I know how to subtly
throw what I want in there. - Yeah.
- So I don't even got to be at the top.
- I agree.
- What would you do if I cheated on you?
- We already went through that.
Um, well, recently we’ve been good.
I just felt like that was like a problem in
our second year.
And since then, we've on and off. So...
to do our own thing and figure out
like actually that's
that's enough, all we need each other, that's it.
We don't need nobody else to do anything for us.
So if you do it again, honestly, I don't know.
I might leave, I might not.
Kinda gross to say, but whatever.
But honestly, I'm very confident that you wouldn't,
because I really feel like that was
our early twenties thing,
even though we smack in the middle—
- Exactly. - No. We get each other.
Yeah.
Oh jeez.
How do we manage our money differently,
and what impact does it have on our relationship?
- Sheesh!
The accuracy on that one.
- Yo!
- I feel targeted. Uh...
So managing our money different,
you're the saver, I’m the spender.
I spend my money carelessly sometimes.
And you know, if it's anything, whether it’s you,
spending money on you or spending money on me,
I’ll spend it. It don't matter to me, like...
I always get my money.
The money's going to roll back.
I’m not afraid about that.
Like, I'll get paid again,
or I'll find some way to sell something to make the money.
You'd rather save your money.
And, you know, that's why I take us out more, you know?
there's no limit on how much I’ll spend on you, so...
that's the difference in our money spending.
- Yeah, I feel like you could definitely save more.
Because I’d like a stable future. Especially ‘cause like...
growing up, you know, me, Mommy, and my sister,
we had to stretch that $168.04, so it’s...
when it comes to spending, I just, I’m just like “Mm!”
But you've got me to learn how to like
feel OK with buying a few things for myself
every once in a while, like, I deserve that reward.
I also thank you for that, too.
because if not, I probably would not
really be buying anything new for myself.
- But it’s fun to splurge every once in a while.
- You feel me?
When was the— oh my God!
When was the—
When was the last time
you considered ending this relationship,
and why didn't you?
(Both laugh)
- I love that question.
Heart that. - Bye!
It’s been a few.
The last time I considered ending it.
When was our last big argument?
I want to say like
two months ago when we stopped talking again.
No, three months ago, yeah.
- January?
- Yeah. When we stopped talking?
I forgot, what did you start yelling at me?
- Before February. - Right before February, yeah.
We had an argument about something, you said...
What was it that you said?
Let me see, let me see.
Because I had just spent...
what did I buy? Oh, I think I got another phone.
Yeah, I got another phone.
And then we were talking.
And then you were talking about the spending.
You wanted to go out, but I
spent the money on the phone?
- Oh! - Yes.
And then the way you were yelling,
you started getting red. I was like...
I don't feel like dealing with that.
It was hot outside.
So, yeah, I just wasn't having none of that.
And I thought about it, but I didn't...
You know, because usually you got to do stuff like that.
I can't do stuff like that.
I can't make us stop talking.
It got to be you.
- Why is it always me?
- I don’t know, I don’t have the cap—
-I've always got to end the relationship.
But then— - It's easier for you to do it.
you drop people easy.
It's harder for me.
- I get frustrated, I’m like,
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
- Right, I have to find a way to try
and get you to start talking to me again.
- You just want to, “I'm a free man. I do what I want.”
- Impulse buys. You know, it was a good buy.
- Yeah, but like...
- True true, I guess.
- Debt is a motherfucker.
- You got it.
- And I don't want you in debt.
- True, but we’re working on that, you know?
- Our thirties are around the corner.
- Five years.
- I know, but like, you know?
- True, we’re getting close.
If this was to be our last conversation,
what’s something you never want me to forget?
Yeah, to just prioritize yourself.
and don't feel bad for doing what's best for you.
- I like that.
- Because you do a lot for people, and I feel like
that should be reciprocated
and I shouldn't be the only one reciprocating that.
Even though, you know,
I'm your wife or whatever.
Like with no ring, but you know.
- Soon it will come. - Yeah.
How has your love for me grown?
- Sheesh!
How has my love for you grown? I mean...
I started at no love to
Now I do anything basically for you.
- Well damn.
I love you.
I love being around you even more than before, so like...
before, I would do something
little like taking you home or something like that.
Now, like I'll buy you whatever you want,
you know, just go do whatever, like listen to you.
You know, when it’s something I don't wanna listen to, or like...
or, you know, just taking care of, like
helping you with your mom.
Like I mean, even when I don't talk to you,
I help her out just because I naturally like to help,
regardless of what it looks like on the outside,
I just want to help. So...
What about you?
- What, what did I—? - Reread that.
Yeah, I always lose.... Oh,
you grew on me, you know, because
you know, I just
it's me and Mommy.
And I fell out with my boy best friend.
And I always felt like he wasn't really
a friend to me anyways,
but like you really showed me
what a real friend is, so I feel like...
You was consistent in trying to prove to me
that you really did like, you really cared for me.
You're really there to support me and watch me grow.
And that's how my love will, once I like, realized, oh,
my God, he really, he's there.
He's not moving.
Like, you impossible to get rid of.
Not saying I want to get rid of you,
I'm just saying like...
- Excuse me!
- It's like you a leech, like you stuck on me forever.
- We’re good.