I would ask you, are you a student of your wife?
Well, let me read verses 7...
Well, just verse 7, actually of 1 Peter 3.
Likewise, husbands, live with their wives
in an understanding way,
showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel,
since they are heirs with you of the grace of life,
so their prayers be not hindered.
Why does he start with likewise?
Because the same core focus
that Peter had for the woman is for the man.
And that is a focus on the character
of the heart of the husband.
These two sets of directions to husbands and wives
are all about the heart, the character of the heart.
Now we know this,
that the heart is the core directional system
of your personhood.
Where the heart goes, the body will eventually go.
So Peter has that heart focus.
Notice husbands,
that the command here is not to lead,
the command is to love,
to live with your wife in an understanding way.
It's very interesting.
The same as the case in Ephesians 5.
You would expect if the wife is called to submit,
the husband would be called to lead,
but that's not the command.
The command is to love.
Maybe that is because God understands our tendencies.
And what we really struggle with is not being in charge.
What we struggle with is self-sacrificing love.
And so that's why that command.
Live with your wife in an understanding way.
I would ask you, are you a student of your wife?
To know her, to know her emotional and spiritual gifts,
to know her emotional, spiritual, physical weaknesses
so that you can live with her in a tender, loving,
encouraging, supporting, helping way.
He says, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel.
I don't think that he's teaching that somehow
women are innately spiritually weaker than men.
We see women of incredible spiritual strength in scripture.
I think it's actually talking about physical things here.
It's that you're not meant to be a demeaning, intimidating,
threatening presence.
It's so easy for a man in a moment of anger
to loom over his wife in a threatening way,
even if he doesn't touch her with his hand.
You're supposed to honor her rather than intimidate her.
Another heart issue is that,
as a husband, you would care about the mystery and glory
and beauty of your spiritual union with your wife.
You know, if you are a Christian couple,
you have the deepest form of union you could ever have.
Think about this, husband,
the spirit of God lives in you
and the spirit of God lives in your wife.
And the spirit of God will agree with the spirit of God.
If we get out of the way of trying to force our own way,
there's this deep, beautiful union
as being joint heirs of the grace of life.
You are objects of God's grace.
Before the foundation of the world,
God chose for both of you to be the recipients of His grace,
and your marriage ought to be a celebration
of that shared grace that God has given you.
And listen, when the core union of a marriage
is that your joint heirs of God's grace,
that marriage is going to go someplace wonderful.
And then here's the warning.
You can't have consistent marital sin
and vertical spiritual health.
That's why the prayer issue at the end of this passage.
You see
my love for God
is actually depicted
by my love for the people in my life.
How can you say that you love God
if you don't love your brother or your sister in Christ.
Make God help us.
Whether a wife or whether a husband,
to offer our hearts to God for His purpose and His using.