- A word that was really around me was dignity.
What really took me out of this horrible situation
my dignity.
- [Elisa] So can you talk a little bit about
how you're feeling right now?
- I feel calm in a way that like in slow motion moment.
I feel like something's going to happen
but I don't know exactly what.
- [Elisa] So can you talk a little bit
about what your style says about you?
- My style? I feel very inspired by nature actually.
Looking at the sky, and then I see two beautiful
dots like the clouds, and for me that's already inspiring.
I don't like the perfection in the things,
I love what has grace, you know when something's alive.
This jacket is furless, and for me it's very important
to show that there is another way of being really a stylish
but without using animals.
- [Elisa] Can you talk about assumptions
that people make about you based on your appearance?
- I was doing a TV show where my role
was very stereotypical of a young girl
that doesn't care anything.
And woman were an object and something sexy.
Most of the values that my character
had they gave it to me, my persona.
And I didn't like it at all.
In Argentina, the body has to be really slim
and not having boobs is a big deal.
Like 'Why don't you do a surgery?
Oh she doesn't have that, or she needs to change that.'
- [Elisa] When you really started as an actor?
- I come from a small town, and then at my 20s,
I moved to Bueno Aires for acting.
I came with all my purest spirit, really like wild
and honest.
I was to be in serious Telenovela.
I was 24, it was my first big project that I was doing.
The main actress, was a big hit,
everyone watched this Telenovela.
So I felt very of course, happy,
like touching one of my dreams, and at the same time
when you are the face, main face of a project
is a lot of responsibility.
I had a really bad experience with the other main actor.
This guy was abusing his power, he was modifying the scenes,
to touch me, to kiss me more, really in a horrible way.
And I perfectly remember the first time he did it,
I was shocked because it was when the camera
was recording and everyone was there, the director,
like really a lot of people but nobody was doing anything.
He did a lot of Telenovelas at that point.
So he was a very well-known and for me was the beginning.
But when this started to be a really shitty,
a really shitty situation for me,
I tried to talk with him through social media
'cause I didn't have his phone
and never wanted to be in touch in another way
more than acting.
So I remember sending a Twitter DM saying like,
"Hey, I can't, I don't want, I don't want these kisses.
I need you to understand, I need you to change."
And his answer was very, okay, we can talk with the producer
to change the story you know, like maybe get you out
of the show, so I will say wow
I remember my mom comes one day to visit me.
And the image that she always tell is that
she saw me in a, so far, really like small
and very vulnerable and she was like, 'what is happening?'
She helped me to find a psychologist
and he asked me an amazing question
that for me was impossible to think about.
Was like, 'Why you don't leave the show?'
'Cause I'm the main actress because I can't,
I mean, I have to suffer this.
And he was like, 'No, I mean, if you really want to leave
you leave.'
And that for me was like wow opening that door
that I never imagined I could open.
And so after that I go and talk with the producers.
I was like, 'I want to leave the show.'
So they say, 'Okay, we let you go,
but you can't say anything about this
because the show is kind of still happening.'
And for me, it was like, I don't want to talk
about this TV show anymore, I just want to leave.
And I came to New York, and then what happened
was that the press was like, 'Wait, wait a minute,
why she left, why the main role suddenly she left?'
What the producer said that I left the show
because I was tired.
So they started to build a horrible image
around me and who I was.
That happened in five years, so five years without acting.
But the problem came when I moved to Buenos Aires
to do a movie.
Still I was like, okay, this is my first love scene
after all these.
So I feel remember that I was like,
I was still like shaking, I was conscious about my body
saying like, 'trust, it's okay.'
So when I was doing the press for that movie,
all this Harvey Weinstein was happening in the US.
So they asked me about what I thought about Harvey Weinstein
and all these things that came out.
I just, without thinking, they say like 'Wait,
well nobody has to tell me what is happening
'cause I'm suffering the same thing, you know myself.'
But it never, I didn't say anything.
His name, the name of the Telenovela, I just say that
but of course the press was like okay,
this plus this, something happened here.
A lot of people believed me but most of them were like,
'Oh, she needs press, why she's doing this to this guy?'
Why after five years I just opened my heart
and you are just saying that why it took me so long to talk.
I remember one day crying in my kitchen
and I was like, 'what is happening with me?'
And I can't, I hate that it took me so long,
but wait that's the time it took me to heal
or to start healing.
Another, they took other actresses
and said that they had a similar situation with these actors
but the press still was like 'Oh, but these two girls,
they just did one role, like who are they.'
You know, like really minimizing everything.
How horrible has to be the situation
for you to be believed, like wow.
One year later another actress,
I got an email saying hey, Calu,
I have to tell you something.
She was now on tour with this soap opera
and she was 16 years old and he rape her.
The first thing that I like my body felt
was I wanted to protect her.
Then I was like, 'Wow I was working with this kind of
person', like how fragile we are, we don't know,
we really don't know, how important it
is to really believe and trust your instinct.
And what happened is that when she came out
and she said like, 'He raped me'.
Everyone started to say I'm sorry Calu,
which for me was too much.
And the most amazing thing of everything
is that last week when I came from the mountains
without phones, without anything, I just got a call
from my sister saying like, I need to talk,
like I want to tell you something.
The justice from Nicaragua is ordering
Interpol to arrest him.
They said that 'Yes, it was a rape.'
Despite, he is this kind of a monster.
I remember when I was 24,
and I thought he was a disgusting guy.
But now that I see the whole picture,
and I see how far he went and how far we went,
as a community of women all together,
trying to make this change, and this revolution of like,
'Hey, if we are saying this it's because it's true.'
Like finally, I realized how powerful we are,
and I couldn't stop crying 'cause I feel
like this was finally the end of the story.
- [Elisa] Wow.
- I think like two months ago I started saying
that I have a new name.
'Cause I feel Calu has a lot of story telling
behind you know, like, which is like super heavy,
and I'm not that girl anymore.
Like a word that was really around me was dignity.
What really took me out of this horrible
situation - my dignity.
Knowing who you are and also telling people who you are.
Nobody will take care of you better than you, nobody.
- [Elisa] When do you feel the most beautiful?
- When I am in nature, when I can connect
with my inner spirit, with my inner animal,
I feel beautiful when I can be who I am
without people judging me knowing who I am,
knowing anything about me.
- [Elisa] If you had a chance to say something
to your 12 year old self, what would you say?
- It's funny 'cause I just when you were asking that,
I just got the memory of a letter
that my grandfather wrote me when I was 16 saying,
'Don't in be a hurry, just go really slow, there's no rush.'
The most beautiful thing in this life
is to enjoy the process.
If I think when I was 17 and thinking,
okay, I want to study acting, and I want to do
these kinds of movies (indistinct chatter)
And then I see all the things that I went through,
you can't control anything.
Actually when I tried to control,
it was when I was more like in a fight with me,
'cause you can't . Yeah, I would say just take your time.
Take your time.
- [Elisa] Why in your body, in your journey,
in your skin, why is it a good place to be?
- Our body is the only thing that we have,
it's the most honest thing we have, is real, it's alive,
it's a miracle to realize that I have me,
I will never feel alone again.
So yes, it's for sure, my safest place to be.
- [Elisa] That's beautiful.
So I'm sure everyone in this room wants to give you a hug
- I'm Lily - And I'm Elisa
- And we're the mother-daughter co-founders
of StyleLikeU.
If you agree that facades separate us
and being radically honest brings us together,
help spread the movement for self-acceptance
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