Hey there, it's Clay with ModernLove.life and this is Relationship Inner Game.
Now this video is going to be video number four in our series on how to connect better
emotionally with your ex.
In the previous couple of videos we've gone over how to get your to talk to you again,
what to talk to your ex about, and how to act around your ex. and in this particular
video we're going to be talking about what to say to your ex.
Now, of course there are many different sorts of things that you could say to your ex and
all sorts of different sorts of circumstances, but building off of everything that we have
talked about thus far, it is important for you to realize that there isn't just like
a simple word-for-word script that you can say to make your ex love you again or something
like that.
And even if there was, it would just get you back into the old kind of relationship that
you had before and then you would just break up again.
For whatever reason that you broke up in the first place.
You weren't paying enough attention to her.
You were complaining too much to him and blah, blah, blah.
All that stuff.
Right?
What's important to know is that you have to be able to feel into the moment to know
what the right thing to say to your ex is, and that's what a lot of the things that we've
already talked about in this series will help you do.
You really need to understand where your ex is at emotionally and you have to be willing
to be completely honest and forthright and transparent about what your intentions are
and how you're feeling because that builds trust with your ex.
Now, when it comes to actual words that you say, a lot of that will take care of itself.
If you have gone through the work that we've already talked about in the previous videos,
but there are a couple of simple things that are important when it comes to what to actually
say to your ex.
So for example, one of the most important things is that you want to really own your
own statements.
You want to own your own feelings.
Oftentimes people will say things like, "You made me feel bad," "You are causing me to
lose sleep because of this breakup," or things like that.
And what that does is that really shoves off responsibility to someone else.
And if you're that someone else, then you're going to start to feel upset and start to
distance yourself emotionally from that person because that interaction that you're having
with them feels bad on an emotional level.
So what you really want to do is you want, you own what it is that you're saying.
So for example, instead of "You're making me feel bad because of this breakup."
You might say something like, "I feel really bad thinking about the fact that the two of
us broke up," and although that might seem like just inconsequential word choice, it
really does have a big impact because what's going to happen is your ex isn't going to
take on this sort of defensive mode around you and closed themselves off.
They're going to actually be able to still stay open enough to actually listen to you
and hear you out.
And just using the small little conversational things like that can really help you to keep
your ex open and receptive and to help you get your point across in a way that your ex
will actually build a positive interaction with you.
And again, that's really what all of this is about.
It's about having these positive emotional interactions with each other.
Now, of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg about what you could say to your ex,
but you know, there's a whole lot more that I actually want to share with you.
But if you're watching this video on youtube, you can go ahead and go down below in the
description and click on a link that'll take you over to our website RelationshipInnerGame.com.
And over there, you can sign up for our email newsletter by filling out a simple little
questionnaire telling me about yourself and your relationship and we'll send you some
advice and strategies that will help you to your ex better and help you communicate with
your ex better and help you get back together with your ex.
If you're already on our newsletter and you're watching this on our website, ModernLove.life,
just go ahead and click in the link below this video and you'll actually be taken over
to another page that will tell you more about how you can connect better with your ex on
an emotional level and be able to actually form these strong emotional connections that
will pull the two of you closer together and get your ex wanting to interact with you through
conversational patterns, through emotional empathy, through being able to understand
and feel the emotional currents that are happening between the two of you and all of these things.
And these aren't just like little gimmicks and stunts and stuff like that.
This is about how to have a deep, rewarding, fulfilling, authentic, genuine communication.
And connection with your ex that will bring the two of you back together for, for really
the long term, not just like a quick bandaid over a bullet hole wound kind of thing.
Anyway, yeah.
This has been Clay with ModernLove.life and this has been Relationship Inner Game.
If you've liked this video, please of course, give us a thumbs up and if you'd like to see
us make more videos, go ahead and leave a comment down below letting me know what types
of videos you'd like to see me make in the future.
Anyway, once again, I'll see you in our next video, which was going to really take things
to the next level and show you how to actually connect with your ex in a much deeper, more
significant way.
Thanks a lot and I'll see you next time.