Hey there, this is Clay and this video here, this message is for people who are like literally
just got dumped.
You know, maybe they got, they got the news like today or a couple of days ago or something,
and their whole world is just completely shattered and they're just totally blindsided by it
and, and they just don't even know how to begin or where to start in this, in this whole
journey.
And this video is for you.
First of all I want to know, I want you to know that I can absolutely relate to you.
I've been where you're at before.
I've been completely blindsided by breakups before.
I know what it's like.
I know how difficult it can be.
I know what it's like to stay up all night tossing and turning, playing out all of these.
Like what if scenarios in your head.
I get that and first thing I want you to know is that, you know, you're not alone.
You know, I've been through that.
My partner Mika has been through that and you know, you're always welcome to reach out
to us at our website relationshipinnergame.com.
Aside from that first thing, first thing I want you to know is that what you're going
through is normal.
All the emotions you're feeling is our normal.
You know, you've just lost your relationship.
Your, you've just lost your partner and, and it's, it's very normal to have this very intense
feeling of sadness, of loss in your life.
And so that's totally normal.
Don't feel like you have to stop that or push it back or block it out or anything like that,
that's just going to prolong your suffering.
It's just going to make those bad feelings last longer.
So, so don't be afraid to feel those feelings, feel those emotions and to really let yourself
feel sad if that's how you feel, what yourself cry, if that's how you feel.
Let yourself be angry if that's how you feel.
There's nothing wrong with that at all.
It's totally normal and you don't have to try and block that out.
Second of all, if you're interested in getting back together with your partner one thing
you're going to want to do is do the no contact rule.
Now there's a lot of people out there who, who talk about the no contact rule, but, but
in my own experience and from the people that we've worked with you don't want to follow
the advice that most people use when they talk about the no contact rule.
It's not really very good.
What we talked about is called the active no contact rule.
It's different than, than the typical no contact or we actually call the typical no contact
or the passive, no contact rule because it's a very passive thing, you know a lot of people,
they hear about it and they think that it's just, yeah, don't call for for 30 days.
Don't, don't contact them for 30 days and then just distract yourself.
Keep your busy, keep yourself busy, keep your hook, keep yourself busy, keep yourself busy,
keep yourself busy and, and as if, as if just distracting yourself and not calling them
was going to like do anything but the act of no contact rule that's different.
That's the one that Mika and I have created.
And this is really about really fully all of your emotional grief that you're going
through, pooling back the layers and, and really looking at how you are being on an
emotional level.
So that, so that when that no contact period is over, you can reach out to your ex and
be able to have like a sane, rational, real decent conversation with them without feeling
the sting of rejection that you're feeling right now without going back into old patterns
and habits that, that led up to the breakup in the first place.
So, so again, first of all, number one, it's okay to feel bad.
Totally let yourself feel bad.
That's absolutely normal.
And the more, number two, I'm in 99% of all cases, you're gonna want to do the no contact
with the active no-contact rule.
If you want to learn more about how to do that, head over to relationshipinnergame.com
and sign up there.
We'll tell you how to do that through our newsletter.
The third thing is that you know things.
You're going to have good days and you're gonna have bad days.
I know this, I was there myself.
There are times when when I would actually be happy, I was like, yeah, you know, maybe
it's going to be okay.
Maybe it's going to be okay that we're not together right now.
And some, and you know, moments later, just like a couple of moments later, I would come
crashing down again and that's okay.
Again, that's normal.
Just feel whatever you're going to feel.
There's going to be ups and downs.
It's, that's totally normal.
That happens in pretty much everyone that we've talked to.
Just, just go ahead and ride that out.
We ha that's actually one of the reasons why we talk about the act of no contact when we
talk about how to like really analyze all those emotions, how to really get through
all those emotions and how to really work through them so that you can not suffer so
much.
So you don't have to get caught up in that emotional roller coaster ride as much.
I mean, you should fully express those emotions, absolutely.
But, but to get caught up in the anguish and the hopelessness of some of them can be truly
devastating and it's not something I want for you.
Next is, is if you want to get back together with your ex, after you do the whole act of
no contacting, the next thing you're going to want to do is you're going to want to reach
out to them.
Here's where a lot of people make a huge mistake.
They, they, they pick up the phone and they just go back to the old things that they were
doing before.
They, they, they, they start the conversation with, I haven't talked to you for a long time
and I just really want to tell you that I love you and you know, I, I want us to work
things out.
I want to get back together.
And that just, that just sends them back right back to the beginning.
And that, and it's like all the time they spent doing no contact or active, no contact,
hopefully was just a waste.
And, and that's not what I want you to do.
You don't want to make the first contact, this huge thing laden with, with expectation
weighed in with you know, all of these hidden covert contracts, you know, sort of, sort
of implicit agreements and, and with strings attached.
You know what I mean?
You just want to, you just want to make it very casual, very, very calm.
You know, this is, you want to treat this like this.
Like this is the first date you call up someone you just met the other night and be like,
yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I really love you and I want us to work thing.
You know, you wouldn't do that.
You'd call them up and you'd ask them out on a first date and that's what you want to
do.
Okay?
We want to do that.
You don't want to, you don't want to make this a very heavy thing.
You don't want to talk about their relationship, you just want to make it very calm, very relaxed,
and then then from there you just want to date them and occasionally just just take
things slow.
You don't have to rush this again, this, this is probably gonna take a while.
So, so you don't want to rush this.
You don't want to try and push this faster, otherwise it's going to, it's going to backfire
on you and it's not going to have the result that you want.
So feel free to take this slow and the two of you can eventually come back together again.
Okay.
Now I realize I've just given you like the 10,000 foot view of all this and you know,
you're probably gonna want to know how to actually implement this.
And the best way to do that is to head on over to relationshipinnergame.com so we can
start working with you together there.
So just go over to relationshipinnergame.com and sign up and we'll be able to start helping
you right away.
Again, my name is clay and I run this website together with my partner Mika, and we've been
helping people through breakups and getting back together for a very long time online.
And you know, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through.
I know it hurts a lot, but both of us have been there and we've, we've helped a lot of
people through similar situations, so, so if you're, if you're open to it, we'd love
to help you too.
So I don't know what your relationshipinnergame.com and sign up there.
Thanks.