John Heffron
Wow
I don't know if you mean it oh I know I should jump right in but I decided to
take a moment oh how do you like that walking music that was awesome before
the show I was practicing playing it on guitar
well not guitar but I here's how it goes and then I'll jump into my actor goes up
red green yellow yellow green red green red yellow yellow yeah so there you go
also too I got to tell you the first couple minutes are weird because I was
gonna drive down here all by myself and then I decided to drive down with the
wife which is awesome because haha how would I know what lane to be in while I
was coming down here if she wasn't with me how would I have known ma'am I would
have not that lanes moving I know I know I know okay
anyway just uh just had an anniversary and yes thank you very much and I also
just got my performance review in the mail some things we need to work on
actually went to the mall with my wife recently which was awesome cuz uh
without her how would I have known what parking space
tea seriously I would have never thought the parking the closest one that wasn't
my first go-to spot hey so uh well all she wanted to go to
the mall cuz she was looking for a podium to give me lectures from they
don't make them ladies aha I was there to kind of find clothes for tonight cuz
you deal right I'm in my 30s I don't know how to dress I'm too old for amber
hungry but not old enough for Tommy Bahama you know so I'm like a tweener
I'm in this weird stage you know and you could tell that I'm getting older cuz
when I was at the mall every guy under 25 bugged me ladies right like here and
then I'll get to my act but here's the deal
there's an acceptable way for a man to wear his hat okay that is your bill is
either at 12 o'clock or six o'clock if you're a sniper or catcher all right and
when I was a kid and you wanted act dumb you took your hat and went sideways on
them so go my lawn where my head and here's maybe it's just me being older I
don't get it I don't get leaving the sticker on the hat
I took the 3234 off of these jeans you know and then I saw one kid he actually
had the price tags and everything still on the hat
why stop there dumbass why just want you to leave the bag the Hat came in on your
stupid head
maybe the box the Hat was shipped in you could kind of kill to the desire yeah
amazing anyway and why were there my wife bought the dumbest piece of
furniture I've ever seen in my entire life it's his bench that goes in front
of the bed never once have I been on the bed and went you know what a bench would
be awesome like right here that would be awesome I'll tell you this right this is
one of the things that was on my performance review and uh you can tell
me if I'm being a bit of a jerk well let me tell you the story just don't look at
me and go probably I'm gonna side with her and I don't even hear your story yet
right oh I was at the beach recently with my
wife right and I'm lucky she went with me because without her I wouldn't have
known where to lay the towel um the plan I was going with was not to get it wet
but I guess I went deeper in the thought and she really pretty thought building
okay so is it we're walking right and as we're walking an older couple is walking
towards us and by older I mean they were each about 140 years old okay and
they're holding hands and my wife goes why can't we be more like that couple
they're holding hands I'm like look at them they're old they're worried a waves
gonna come in and grab one of them take that guy out to see I'm strong
enough to swim against the current if I get pulled under 120 degrees well I want
to be with your sweaty ass walking down the head hold on that's not the story
here's the story as we're walking my wife says it's a nice day and I don't
say anything and then she says it one more time it's a nice day and I don't
say anything and here's your the argument starts she freaks thousands I
am so sick of not getting a response from you what ladies clapping you're
obviously having this problem at home art well here's the deal and this is
where I don't want to sound like the jerk ladies but here's the deal it's a
nice day is a statement I'm not obligated to respond to a statement I'm
not say anything that's a random fact thrown
out there she said it was a nice day what am I supposed to do talk to her
like she's five yeah it is a nice day isn't it supposed to talk to her like
I'm Dora or Diego no can you own me fine Baby Jaguar come on vamanos