(gentle music)
- [Narrator] Hey Psych2Goers,
thanks so much for your support.
Before we begin, we wanna make a disclaimer
that this video is not made to attack anyone
but rather, it's made to be a self-improvement guide
for those of you who have been feeling a little stuck.
With that said, let's begin.
Do you think that if you surround yourself
with smart, positive people,
that you'll be more successful in life?
Do you think that same logic
can apply to having toxic people in your life as well?
Just as surrounding yourself with smart,
capable and positive people can help elevate your life,
so too can toxic or manipulative people drag you down
and negatively impact your life.
But how do you know if the company you keep
is positive or toxically negative?
There are certain behaviors and personality traits
that can wind up attracting toxic people into your life.
So, here are six undeniable reasons
why you attract toxic people.
Number one, you are a people pleaser.
Do you often find yourself trying to make other people happy
at your own expense?
As a people pleaser, you might think
that you actually have no value to people
unless you're doing something for them.
You're someone who rarely says no to others
because you fear that there'll be unhappy
or disappointed in you.
This personality trait attracts toxic people to you,
because they can easily manipulate
and take advantage of you,
using your inherent desire to help others
for their own gain.
Number two, you're generous with your time.
Being generous with your time
is a very desirable character trait
because you form stronger bonds
and relationships with others,
when you put more of your time into them.
But do you feel like there are some people
who abuse this trait of yours?
Toxic people are extremely attracted to people
who are generous with their time,
because they know that you'll drop
anything that you're doing
to tend to their requests and demands.
They'll call you up, not caring if they interrupt your day,
so they can talk to you about their problems.
They expect you to be there to listen to them
or will call you for favors
and expect you to come to their aid immediately.
In the end, it's up to you to set some boundaries
to avoid them from abusing your time.
Ah, umber three, you have a rescuer personality.
If you have a rescuer personality type,
you see yourself as a white knight
and you're someone who jumps in compulsively
and often uninvited, to save others.
You have a deep desire or need to save other people
and wanna fix their problems.
As a rescuer, you believe
you have the necessary influence, charm
or persuasive powers to help change people
or their situations for the better.
Does this behavior align with your own?
This kind of behavior
can unwittingly attract toxic people into your life.
Similar to how they like people pleasers,
toxic people will try to take advantage of your fixer-upper
or do-good mentality to manipulate you
into solving all of their problems for them.
You have a good nature and a good heart
and you don't deserve to let someone
take advantage of you in this way.
Number four, you hate confrontations.
Does confrontation make you uncomfortable
and puts you at unease?
Do you fear confrontation and try to avoid it?
If you struggle with confronting others,
you're likely someone who attracts toxic people.
This is because a toxic person knows
that you won't tell them off
when they do inappropriate things.
They know they can get away
with their bad behaviors around you.
A toxic person will take advantage of your preference
to understand and accept their flaws
over trying to confront them
and tell them that what they're doing is wrong.
It's a really slippery slope with toxic people.
If you feel like you're being pushed around,
then put on your big kid undies
and establish boundaries for yourself
to separate you from them.
The best thing you can tell a toxic person
is a firm and solid no.
Number five, you are loyal.
Do you have a romantic partner
who constantly makes you feel bad about yourself?
Do you stay in an abusive relationship
because you feel a sense of loyalty to them?
Or do you keep coming over to help a family member
who takes advantage of you and your time
but won't help you with anything in return?
Just like generosity,
loyalty is one of the most attractive personality traits
that you can have.
Being loyal to your family and friends
makes you a very valuable person
but this will also attract toxic people
who want to manipulate you
and take advantage of your virtues.
Toxic people are attracted to your loyalty
because they know that they'll have someone to count on
whenever they need you
but won't ever do anything for you in return.
People who take advantage of you don't deserve your loyalty.
And number six, you are overly open and honest.
Does lying make you uncomfortable?
Have other people ever told you
that you are very, very bad at lying?
Being overly open and honest
can be very attractive to toxic people.
That's not to say that being honest is bad
but toxic people will take advantage
of your heartfelt genuineness.
When you're an honest person, you hate lying
and think that other people avoid
and hate lying just like you do.
Toxic people are attracted to this trait.
Toxic people know that no matter what they say,
you'll believe that they're telling the truth.
They love the fact that they can get away with anything
they do or say around you.
To combat this, be a little more selective
about who you open up to,
trust your gut and intuition
and avoid the people that make you feel uncomfortable.
You don't have to tell your whole life story
to everyone you meet,
because not everyone you meet will have the best intentions.
As we close out, we wanna be clear
that you shouldn't change your good nature
just because you got yourself into a toxic situation.
Your good virtues are important and valid.
There's no reason to change who you are.
You aren't weak or disadvantaged more than anyone else is.
Just remember to set up healthy boundaries
and don't let anyone abuse your good personality traits
or make you feel worthless or invaluable,
because you're worth so much more than that.
Did you relate to any of these reasons?
Let us know in the comments.
Please like and share this video if it helped you
and you think it could help someone else too.
The studies and references used
are listed in the description below.
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for more Psych2Go videos and thank you for watching.
We'll see you next time.