- Hey.
What up everyone, it's your girl Superwoman.
Oh snap, crackle, pop Super Monday or Tuesday,
depending on how late this is gonna be.
So a little birdie told me that tomorrow
a lot of y'all are going back to school.
And I know I already made a video about back to school,
but this one's a little different.
So whether you're going to school tomorrow,
this will be very educational for you.
And if you've already been to school
and you're old like me and you're just sitting there,
don't know what your life's about, eating popcorn on YouTube
then hey, let's take a walk down memory lane.
Shall we?
Let's do this.
Now I'm gonna outline types of kids at school.
But this in no way encompasses all the types
of people at school.
And you know, I'm not trying to generalize
and disclaimer, disclaimer, something, something.
(blows raspberries)
Delete comment, insert here.
Don't be mad.
Number one, the know-it-all.
This kid is probably the most annoying part
of being in class.
Like you would think homie is on a basketball team
playing defense the way his hand's up the whole time.
What's the population of Tibet?
I know.
What's the circumference of Jupiter?
I know.
At the school dance everyone is jamming like
♪Ooh, Nana, what's my name?♪
But boy is like, "I know. I know."
Shut the F up and stop lowering my self-esteem.
Okay?
On top of that not only does this person know the answer
to every question, but they want to sit there and start
teaching the class about things.
And students that is called a membrane.
Oh, miss?
Oh, oh, there's also actually different types of membranes.
For example, semi-permeable membranes that allow things
to pass through via diffusion or such things
as a sodium-potassium pump.
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
Let me just, let me just turn my desk and chair around here.
I didn't know you were the mother-f'ing teacher.
Did you just add more education into the classroom,
by choice?
Dude, I'll break your membrane okay?
I got muscles.
Number dos, The Older SexBOMB.
There are always one or two older sexbombs in every school.
A girl or guy in your school
that you know absolutely nothing about.
I mean you've never chilled with them,
you've never spoken to them.
For all you know they could be
Pikachu in a human costume.
You know nothing.
But whenever they peek at you you got,
boom, lightning in your pants.
They are so hot!
And chances are within a few days of discovering
this older sexbomb you and your friends will
create a codeword to identify them.
Now my friends and I, we're idiots,
so we use the word alert.
Because that's not obvious at all.
What'd she say the homework was?
Alert, alert, alert, alert, alert, alert, alert.
Alert, alert, alert, alert,
alert, alert, alert, alert, alert.
We are the stupid.
True story.
And alert, if you're watching this, what up baby?
How you doing with your fine self?
I suddenly have Tourette's.
(laughing)
See I suggest more smooth names
like sex noodle,
glitter bomb,
pretty kitty,
panty dropper,
boxer foxer,
squirtle.
And trust me my loves, you will have a daily
moment of silence whenever this older sex bomb passes you.
Oh my God, I know.
I went to be so late last night and just.
I need to go to the washroom.
Squirtle.
Number tres, The HOT Player.
The hottie of your grade, because he's sexy and he knows it.
(vocalizing)
He is Mr Cool, Mr Popular,
hair always dead fresh,
line up friggin' dressed to impress.
He has a way with the ladies.
He is so hot, and he is a total effin' douche bag.
Everyone knows he's a player.
Honestly, he's like a tampon.
One time use, friggin' f's you,
leaves a mess and leaves you alone craving a chocolate bar.
What am, what am I doing?
Why do I keep doing.
Is it the hat?
Why do do-.
Why do I keep doing this?
He's like a magnet from hell,
because every girl still wants him.
In other words, all girls hate him
but secretly we love his soul
and wanna tackle his face because he's so f'ing gorgeous.
He is the apple from the forbidden tree.
But who doesn't like a little apple sauce?
Numero 4, Her Majesty.
Hi hun, I think you're actually in the wrong place, yeah.
Yeah, this is actually our crappy high school
not the Miss World Pageant.
Okay, yeah.
Chill the f' out.
High heels, fancy purse, big earrings,
hair did, makeup did.
This girl comes to school every day
as if it was her f'ing wedding day.
Like, let me know if it's your wedding.
Let me know.
Let me know if I should bring a jago,
just as soon as you walk through the hallway.
♪Jagoya, jag-♪
Let me know, like, don't,
I did it in Walmart, like, don't test me.
Like, just let me know straight up.
(beat boxing)
I'll be there.
She is an f'ing disturbance.
I'll be sitting in class, in the hallway,
you know she's coming.
It's just click, click, click, click,
with her damn high heels.
Like, hi, hi.
Want to hear a joke?
Really funny joke is, joke is you, you!
Don't make me feel bad about
wearing my same Walmart track pants everyday.
But, you know what?
Joke's on you because when everyone sees you at prom,
you're gonna look exactly the damn same.
But I, however, my hot mess self, yeah.
Friggin' prom day.
I'm gonna go from friggin' Jay-Z to Beyonce.
From friggin' bum to bootilicious, right here.
♪My body so bootilicious for you babe.♪
Number five, the A/V Crew.
These are the tech geeks.
The audio-visual nerds.
The people who control assemblies, talent shows,
with the lights and the sounds.
In a study I just made up right now,
it's been proven that these people are most likely
to grow up to do the most deranged things.
So, be nice to the A/V Crew,
because in the future when they become murderers,
criminals, and pedophiles, yeah.
For your future children's sake,
you might wanna just, you know,
flirt with them very subtly.
Just be like, "Hey, A/V Crew.
Remember me, twenty years from now.
When I'm vulnerable."
What am I doing in this video?
I don't, I don't know!
I didn't even have an energy drink.
Like, I just.
You know what?
The floor has just been varnished,
I'm getting intoxicated with crazy fumes.
♪And they're making me crazy, all over the crazy floors.♪
♪Spaghetti meatballs.♪
Don't do drugs.
Subliminal messaging.
Number, I don't remember.
The Water Works.
This person is almost always a female,
and her cray cray makes me embarrassed of my vajayjay.
She falls in love like it's nothing.
It's like Cupid has a dart board,
and it's hanging on her face.
Pew, pew.
Oh my God, I like him.
Oh my, do you not understand that I love him?
You know the song by Taylor Swift?
♪We are never, ever, ever, ever, getting back together♪
Good song, yeah?
She's never heard it.
Never.
Always crying, always heartbroken, always an f'ing hot mess.
Tears are just part of her face.
Monday.
Tuesday.
Lunch.
Picture day.
Prom.
School dance.
Like, girlfriend please, please, take.
Honestly, here's twenty bucks, take it.
Take my twenty bucks, okay?
And, go buy some f'ing waterproof mascara okay?
Because I can't be seeing a horror movie
every time I see your face.
Like, girlfriend, seriously.
Imagine you just have one last bourke of roti left in life,
and you have a whole bunch of aloo gobi still.
Just friggin', just friggin' get it together.
And last we have Puberty Parm.
Parm can be a girl or a guy.
Why not unisex Punjabi names?
First year.
Parm, who the hell is Parm?
Second year.
Oh Parm, Parm.
I think he's in my English class.
Third year.
So guys, what do you think of Parm?
Fourth year.
Okay, I want Parm to have my f'ing babies, like.
I don't care if I'm too young,
he at least needs to like father my Tamagotchi.
Good old Puberty Parm.
The person no one notices until they get
a little bit taller, little more muscle,
little more facial hair.
Stop sounding like Dennis the Menace,
have a little more boobies and a little more booty.
Respectively, for their, for their individual sex.
Slow clap for puberty.
(claps)
Well done.
But, honestly, it's important to remember
that although some kids at school a
are annoying, dramatic, mean, and cray,
they all add to that unique school experience.
And, I promise you, you will miss it.
This is just a fun little video
for all you going back to school tomorrow.
Honestly, don't go around
labeling people and judging people.
It's just for fun!
I hope you have a great first day at school tomorrow.
Comment below,
let me know which school you're going to tomorrow.
I might give it a little shout-out on Twitter or Facebook
like I did in my last back to school video.
So, yeah, comment below your school name,
and let me know what kind of kid you think you are.
Be honest.
Honesty hour, let's do it.
Are you the Water Works?
You're the Water Works.
Ah, there is a flying bug in my...
New videos every Monday and Thursday,
so why don't you just go ahead
and click that subscribe button.
Also, if you liked this video,
there's a link in the description.
Click it to share it on Facebook.
While you do those two things,
I'm gonna just uh, talk nerdy to you.
I wanna just kiss your esophagus,
and caress your epidermis.
I wish I was a neural transmitter,
jumping through your synapses
just from pre-synaptic to post-synaptic,
all of the net nervous system.
Just like a semi-permeable membrane,
letting in what's good and keeping out foreign agents.
Creating molecular bonds for days.
Give you all the ATP your system needs.
I wanna feel the ribosomes on your endoplasmic reticulum.
My mitochondria is a powerhouse.
And I just, I have a pee pee.
'Kay, bye!
(upbeat music)