I can already tell by how y'all looking
at me y'all got some questions.
So we're gonna go ahead and address this thing.
OK?
Yes, I am a Leo.
Got you, bitch.
No, for real, people, they see the way that I dress
and they assume two things.
One, I'm gay.
Two, I want to be a man.
One, I'm gay.
Ta-dah.
Two, I don't want to be a man.
OK?
Listen people, I don't want to be a man, because I don't want
to be at the bar all night buying women drinks just
to leave with none of them.
You know?
But no.
I remember coming out to my mom.
Man, I was so nervous.
I was like 20, 21 years old.
I woke up one morning like, today is the day.
Yeah I. Feel it in my gay spirit.
It's time.
I walk into the room so--
so nervous.
I was like, mama, listen.
I got something to tell you.
You might want to sit down for this one.
I'm-- before I could even finish, she said, stop.
Quit it.
You gay.
I'm so dramatic.
I was like what?
Who told you?
She said, girl, I'm your mother.
I had you.
I knew you before you knew you.
I knew you was gay when I caught you eating a banana sideways.
Any couples in a building tonight?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let me-- let me clarify.
Any straight couples in the building tonight?
Ugh.
I cannot stand y'all.
I can't stand straight couples.
I think it's because I'm low-key jealous.
OK?
I'm jealous of straight couples.
Like y'all can go from foreplay to sex like that with
no problem, smooth transition.
Like y'all could be sitting on a couch, watching a movie,
he start rubbing on your thigh, you kissing his earlobe,
he put in it, you having sex.
Ain't that how it work?
That's what they did to me when I was doing it.
That's what they did.
But lesbians, we can't do that.
Lesbians don't have a smooth transition.
We got to suit up.
I could be in that same situation,
chilling with a chick, like, you know what?
I think I'm ready to take this to the next level.
But first, hold on.
I'll be right back.
[faintly] You ready?
Might not have been real, but I slung some D that night.
OK?
Oh my god.
Fellas, I get it.
I understand now.
Like I get why some of y'all don't last
that long during sex.
It has nothing to do with you being overly excited,
but everything to do with you being tired.
For real, like-- like for real, don't nobody
want to be doing this shit.
Ain't nobody trying to be doing this all night.
My name is Kelanna Spiller.
Have a good night.