- [Narrator] Americans are divided,
(protesters yell)
fighting over everything from beer
(gun shots)
to voting etiquette, to whether that mother (beep) is real.
- That (beep) back there is not real!
- [Narrator] Sometimes it can seem
like we're living in different realities.
(person yells)
Luckily, there's a presidential candidate
who exists in every reality.
- Today I'm announcing my run
for president of the United States,
- [Narrator] A powerful being who can travel
between dimensions without even pausing for breath.
- President Trump, I believe,
was the best president of the 21st century.
(crowd cheers)
As US President, I would have made different judgements
than Donald Trump made.
The climate change agenda. - whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Is a hoax!
Climate change is also real.
By the way, cancel Juneteenth,
one of the other useless ones we made up.
Happy Juneteenth everybody.
I'm very open to banning TikTok outright.
Yes, I'm officially on TikTok, we're gonna be on here a lot.
- Pop some Dramamine, because this is The Daily Showography,
of the Vivek Ramaswami.
Enter the Ramaverse.
(electricity buzzes)
Vivek Ramaswami was born on Earth Prime to Indian immigrants
in Cincinnati, Ohio.
He learned at an early age how to navigate the multiverse,
being raised Hindu, but educated at a Catholic school,
and eventually using both to his benefit.
- I share those same Judeo-Christian values,
more so than even many self-professed Christians.
- [Narrator] You see,
Vivek is more Christian than most Christians,
because he's Hindu.
By the end of high school,
he already knew that time is a flat circle.
- The word commencement comes from the French word,
"commence," which means to begin.
And yet, now we use that same word "commencement,"
to describe a ceremony marking the end
to our four year high school experience.
- [Narrator] It was undeniable.
This bright young man owned a dictionary.
After graduation, Ramaswami went on to study at Harvard
and Yale, and came out a man of the people.
- I think many people are like me,
people who are disgusted with the establishment.
- [Narrator] Yes, separately,
Harvard and Yale are the establishment,
but together they cancel each other out,
like a hamburger and a salad.
After law school, Ramaswami was ready to tackle the worlds.
One version of him became a standup comic.
- I was actually a one-time aspiring standup comedian
in New York City myself.
- [Narrator] Another became a pro tennis player.
- I'm a tennis fanatic.
If the path was open to me to have pursued that career,
I would've done it.
- [Narrator] And a third entered the business world
as the founder of Roivant Sciences,
a company that sounded scientific, but also wasn't.
Instead of developing its own products,
Roivent bought failed drugs
from real pharmaceutical companies,
and tried to find uses for them,
because those drugs might not work in our universe,
but maybe he could sell them in a universe where they did.
Many of Roivent's secondhand drugs failed.
But, in the multiverse,
failure and success are all the same thing anyway.
As a hardheaded businessman,
Ramaswami had no interest in the world of politics.
- I was outta politics back then.
I was an apolitical guy.
- [Narrator] But,
he was propelled into yet another alternate life
by the only force powerful enough
to rip a hole in the space time continuum, wokeness.
- I was a CEO, who like so many CEOs,
was brow beaten into potentially making statements
on behalf of Black Lives Matter, after George Floyd died.
Amongst CEOs in America,
I was unique in saying that I refused to do it.
- [Narrator] It takes a brave man
to take a stand against sympathy for the dead.
And, the Republican Party took notice.
As an Indian American, who isn't Indian American.
Ramaswami was just the person to assure white conservatives
that while racism exists, it also does not.
- I'm sure the boogeyman white supremacist exists
somewhere in America, I've just never met him.
Maybe I'll meet a unicorn sooner.
- [Narrator] That's right,
Vivek has never met someone who hates people of color,
aside from the guy who cuts his hair.
(glitchy heroic music)
In 2023, this anti-elite outsider
with nearly a billion dollars and Ivy League connections,
was ready to quantum leap into the Oval Office.
But, which recent president would he model himself after?
Yes.
- Well, you have to give Vivek a big credit
for following the Trump playbook to a T.
- Jim, I'm sorry, you're fired!
- John Lemon. You're fired.
- [Radio Host] They're saying that
you're the Republican Obama.
- The skinny kid with a funny name.
- This skinny guy with a funny last name.
- E Pluribus Unum, out of many, one.
- E Pluribus Unum, from many, one.
From many one.
- [Narrator] Yes, Ramaswami shamelessly borrowed
from two men who won the presidency, and yet,
he simultaneously will never be president.
Remarkable.
Ramaswami picked up supporters in one dimension
as a classical pianist, (classical piano)
and in another, as an equally accomplished rapper.
♪ My name's Vivek, it rhymes with cake. ♪
♪ It ain't about the, it isn't about me. ♪
♪ It is about the, the United States is about liberty. ♪
♪ Snap back to reality, ope there goes gravity ♪
- [Narrator] Oops, there goes mom's spaghetti.
(villainous music)
When not spitting bars,
Ramaswami is talking about the issues,
familiar issues like closing the Mexican border,
but also the upside down version of that.
- Don't just build the wall, build both walls,
- [Narrator] And who's gonna pay for it?
Mexicacanada?
Ramaswami is a thoroughly modern Republican,
and also he's not a Republican.
- I kind of cringe when someone says "fellow Republicans,"
I'm not a party man.
- [Narrator] He's a man whose principles make him strong,
and also weak. - Your greatest strength?
- A firmness of my convictions.
- Mm, biggest weakness? - Firmness of my convictions.
(interviewer laughs)
- [Narrator] Indeed,
his firmness of conviction is like a coin.
It has two sides, and ultimately isn't worth very much.
But, that's the genius of Vivek Ramaswami.
He's not nearly a Christian Hindu elite,
every man, successful failure, classical rapper,
independent Republican, anti-immigrant, child of immigrants.
(rhythmic percussion)
He's everything, everywhere.
All at once.
(ominous thud)