- Oh my God. I love these.
I want to be able to do this.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
- That guy's sleeping on the couch tonight.
- ♪ (upbeat intro) ♪
- (FBE) Today, we're gonna have you read some savage texts.
- Ooh, okay. All right.
Well, I'm excited to see what people are sending these days.
- All of these texts are just gonna be like yep, yep.
Good job.
- I don't think I've ever done any of what you would
characterize as savage.
- Savage text messages are my middle name.
It's Jair "Savage Text Messages" Lucus.
- I usually send some pretty sassy ones,
especially when I'm flirting, 'cause I'm like,
I don't wanna be too nice, so I'm gonna put you
in your place right away.
- On the internet, savage is not savage anymore,
it's just basic, so I don't know.
We're gonna find out.
- "I just ate a fish taco. It reminded me of you."
"Oh, what a coincidence. I just ordered a pizza
and it came in 20 seconds. Thought of you."
- Why would you send somebody that? "Just ate a fish--"
Oh my God. When the realization hits you.
This was savage on both ends. Love it.
- Oh my God. I love these.
I want to be able to do this.
- It's kinda sweet and then it's like, "I still thought of you,
but I'm gonna burn you really quick."
- It's a boyfriend and a girlfriend or just two people that
hooked up probably, so I can see the relationship there
in that text. He's sitting there like,
poof, destroyed.
- If I was the fish taco dude, I would have just been like,
"Okay, still smashed. Okay."
So it's not that savage.
- "Bitch." "Ha, I've been called worse."
"Like?" "Your girlfriend."
Savage. These are amazing.
I need to be able to do this stuff.
I wanna meet these people and I need them to teach me
how to write stuff like this.
- This is like text messages I send.
Not this bad, but I'm definitely savage.
- That's read and then didn't respond.
You can't really come back from that one to be honest.
I feel bad for him.
- These aren't bad. I don't know why these are savage.
People have been called worse things.
- If he's just gonna be like, "Bitch," he deserves to be like,
"Well, being your girlfriend is worse."
- That's why when you're in a relationship,
you make sure that you do stuff so that no one
can ever tell you that. - (announcer) Truth.
- "Can I throw a party this weekend?"
"Don't you need friends to throw a party?"
This is something that my dad would send to me
and this is a very nice way of saying no,
so I appreciate this kind of text message.
- These people are real good.
- Hey, I've had parties by myself. You just turn the music up,
get a pizza. Eight slices is enough
for one person.
- If your dad has to tell you that you don't have any friends
and your dad knows that you don't have any friends,
then that's pretty savage.
- My mom says crap like this all the time to me,
'cause I'll just be like, "Oh, I think I'm gonna hang out
with a friend tonight or something."
And she'll be like, "You don't have any friends."
And I'm like, "You right."
- This is something my dad would say.
I feel like it's just kind of a stereotypical thing.
They have the worst jokes and they're [bleep] savage.
That's just dads in general.
- "Are you ready?" "Doing makeup, wait."
"You don't need makeup, honey." "Aw, really?"
"You need plastic surgery." That guy's sleeping
on the couch tonight.
- Jeez louise. I mean, I can relate to the
"I'm doing my makeup. You're gonna have to wait
another two hours." So, he could be really
fed up with that.
- I don't see why you'd be in a relationship with this person.
This person's definitely a little savage,
but again, I guess a good roast and compliment ratio
is what you need to have a successful relationship,
so hopefully after these messages went through,
everything was fine.
- I could see this being best friends, two girl
best friends. Could be guys,
if guys choose to wear makeup.
- If you say something like this to someone in real life,
you can gauge the tone of it a little bit,
but now it just seems mean if it's on text,
'cause you can't-- there's no sarcasm button
necessarily.
- He started off so good. "You don't need makeup, honey."
"Aw, really?" "You need plastic surgery."
Depending on her self esteem, she could have taken that
one or two ways and we'll know if his
credit card has been used.
- "Do you want to be the sun in my life?"
"Yes, xxx." "Good, then stay
92,935,700 miles away from me. Smiley face."
Where did you come up with that number?
- I'm gonna have to look that up and check the facts,
but I'd like to think that if they took that number
out of there, it would have been pretty accurate.
- That person probably had to go look up how far
the Sun was away from the Earth. The worst part about this
is it says "read" and it says "read yesterday,"
so they waited a while for them not to text back
and then they posted this somewhere.
- They thought of that. They sat there and they were like,
"You know what I'm gonna say? I wanna be mean to this person."
- You know why he said that? Because she used three X's
to represent kisses when you have a kiss emoji.
- That's how you know how old this meme is,
'cause nobody I know texts with three X's still.
It's cringey, that's why it's not savage.
- "Ava, your sister and I are going to McDonald's."
"Can you get me a bacon cheeseburger with pickles
and a coke, please?" "No."
- "Then why did you told me you're going?"
"To disappoint you as much as you disappoint me.
Smiley face." Oh my God.
These are just-- they make my stomach just ache
for these people.
- Oh, he's telling the kid that-- yeah, that's a good one.
And then he put the smiley face after like,
"Just so you know."
- That was pretty good to be like, "Well, you disappoint me,
so you're not getting food." That's mean, but obviously
it's a joke.
- The smiley face makes it all worth it, so it's okay.
She knows it's a joke.
- It's not like too incredibly mean, but it's also not nice,
which makes it savage. The perfect level of savage.
This was great.
- "You're my drug." "Aw, because you can't
live without me?" "No, 'cause you cost too much
and you ruin my life." Ha ha, you're a burden on me.
I'm so savage.
- Having a significant other and drugs kinda go hand in hand.
Kind of the same thing. It can ruin your life.
It can ruin your wallet.
- I'ma be using this. Know what I'm texting
my fake boyfriend today.
- It's 50/50. It's two people that are
starting to get together, so you know the kind of humor
or it's two people that have been together for super long
and he knows that she'll think it's funny
or he'll think it's funny.
- These are actually really smart. I wanna meet the people
who make these, 'cause this is really
intelligent humor, though, honestly. I gotta up my text insults.
- It's a great message. It's a great--
it has a good one, two punch. It works, flows perfectly.
Good stuff.
- "Hey, where are you? I miss you.
Wanna come watch a movie at my house"
"Unfortunately, this user does not accept messages after dark.
Please try calling during daylight hours.
Thank you."
- It's not as savage, but I would have been like,
"You're lame."
- 11:21 PM? That's 100% a booty call.
The person receiving the "I miss you" text
has been done wrong by this other person
and so this is kinda their way of getting back at them
and I appreciate the clever joke.
- This person just curved the booty call,
which is great. Being in a position to be able
to just be like, "Nah, nah. Go away."
is the greatest thing in the world, so shoutout to this person
for being a savage the right way.
- There's always guys who are like, "Let's hang out."
and I'm like, "It's midnight. You have obvious intentions.
Be a little slicker than that."
- They hit you up at night and they're like, "Hey.
Wanna come over or something?" It's always at night
and then during the daytime, they pretend you don't exist.
Don't talk to them in the nighttime.
They're just trying to get stuff.
- "Send me that ugly picture of me that you have on your phone."
"Which one, there are so many." Relatable.
Not even gonna be mad at this one.
- Parents have so many bad pictures of their kids
on their phone that this is accurate to most kids this age.
- This is the person's dad? That's your creation.
That is kind of insulting yourself.
- Oh my God. I love it.
Dads are just killing it with these text messages.
They just like to be really mean.
You could just be like, "Well, I'm half of you, so..."
- Dads are such great people because they come up
with stuff on the fly. They have dad jokes
that make no sense, but are funny
and then they also have this little moment of savage
where they take it out on you and it's in a "love you" way,
so it's not in a "Dang, I'm gonna ruin your life" way,
so it's good.
- I would just be like, "Oh, there are so many
of you, too. You want one?"
And then I'd send him a picture of a monkey or something.
I'm practicing my savagery during this episode
and then the minute I get home, my parents will be like,
"What happened to you? Why are you like this?"
- Amanda. "What do you want
for your birthday? You name it."
"A date with you?" "Lol, no, for real."
"No, really. I'm completely in love with you."
"Hahaha, you're hilarious." This curve game is so strong.
- Someone was like, "Oh, I care about you.
What do you want for your birthday?"
And she's like, "A date with you."
He's like, "Oh, I don't care about you like that."
- I just feel like I'd feel bad if I was the person.
Why would-- couldn't you just say no?
Isn't that enough?
- There was one attempt and then it was like
a shot to the chest and then I was like,
all right, it's chill, but then she went
for that second attempt and they closed the coffin
and just didn't open it. I feel so bad.
- Maybe you shouldn't be telling someone that you're
in love with through text, so if you're gonna tell someone
through text, you deserve to get roasted
and this person got roasted. You got what you asked for.
- If they tell you they're being serious,
you should probably trust them. Don't laugh.
Laughing is not the right thing to do.
I learned the hard way. Don't laugh.
- (FBE) So, what did you think of these text messages?
- They were clever. I'm definitely gonna take
a couple of those dad jokes. Use them on my family.
- I love relationships, especially with family and couples
where you can roast someone and still love them
at the end of the day.
- I think the dads really killed this episode.
- This episode goes to show that dads will always have
the best savage lines, so shoutout to the dads out there.
- Thanks for watching me read savage texts
on the React Channel.
- Don't miss out. Be sure to Subscribe.
- If you're savage, then hit that Like button.
- Did you think these were savage? Let us know in the comments.
- Bye, guys.
- Alyssa here, producer from the React Channel.
So, if you don't like this episode, well that's just savage,
so like this episode. Okay, bye.